Feeling like im on the slippery slope!!!

I use social media to harden myself up!
That is definitely part of the reason.

friendlygingercat

This could be me and I would resist the people who are trying to liven you up and drag you out of the house. I used to travel the world solo and have dealt with customer and client groups all my life. I am now often sick to death of people and don't want their problems and interruptions into my day. I try to do everything by email or home delivery so I dont have to go out and interact as little as possible. I have done more than my bit for the community and retirement is supposed to be "easy street" so I don't feel in the least guilty in keeping myself to myself.

Personally, I find social media the worst.

The outside world to me is a breeze.

Perhaps I will feel different in 20 years time or so.

Elrel

I used to watch programmes about walks in the Lake District and cry because I was unlikely to go again. I now think how lucky I was to be there at all and cherish my memories.

We students, used to do a lot of walking and climbing in the lake district, sometimes going out on exercise with RAF mountain rescue. Then we two lived near Kendal for four years and it was the best time, always out walking with children in our rucksack carriers. I too miss the lake district so much and those days when we were fit and when we were two and our social scene was fantastic

No point looking back except to re-kindle happy memories and know that our adventures live again, through our AC but not in the Lake District. The happiness then did leave its mark even now

Elrel - fantastic that you have signed up to walk 30 miles! Best of luck.

I used to watch programmes about walks in the Lake District and cry because I was unlikely to go again. I now think how lucky I was to be there at all and cherish my memories.

Flopsey

Thanks to many who are going through the same feelings about just wanting to stay at home and not go out.
I was very gregarious, and used to go on coach trips abroad and in this country on my own, but three years ago I fell and and injured my shoulder badly.
Unfortunately I lost confidence my husband now has to do the shopping for me. So I haven’t been outside for a long time.
However, I found that YTube has been a big help as I discovered that there are many videos of people travelling abroad or country side walks , visiting historic houses, even bus trips that I can watch on my 50 sized big screen and feel that I am there . It’s helped me so much and Ilook forward to a new journey every day. It’s the best thing that has helped me.

Me too. I watch Cornish walking trails amongst other things. I miss going to Cornwall so much ( I lived there at one time and we used to go back for holidays when the kids were young).

Faxgran

Until fairly recently much of the world’s and local news was screened out from us; tv & radio bulletins simply didn’t have the time.
Now with the internet it’s world -wide news, universal opinions, thrust at us 24/7. So yes, I can understand the retreat of our (& other) generations into safe spaces.

This is very very true and does have an effect on many people including me, I try not to watch too much of it but then I find myself watching bits of it 🤨
“Ignorance is bliss”. So true…..

Flopsey

Thanks to many who are going through the same feelings about just wanting to stay at home and not go out.
I was very gregarious, and used to go on coach trips abroad and in this country on my own, but three years ago I fell and and injured my shoulder badly.
Unfortunately I lost confidence my husband now has to do the shopping for me. So I haven’t been outside for a long time.
However, I found that YTube has been a big help as I discovered that there are many videos of people travelling abroad or country side walks , visiting historic houses, even bus trips that I can watch on my 50 sized big screen and feel that I am there . It’s helped me so much and Ilook forward to a new journey every day. It’s the best thing that has helped me.

Your post reminded me of our holiday in China.
I’ve seen more of the Terracotta Army on tv than I saw at the site.😂

Until fairly recently much of the world’s and local news was screened out from us; tv & radio bulletins simply didn’t have the time.
Now with the internet it’s world -wide news, universal opinions, thrust at us 24/7. So yes, I can understand the retreat of our (& other) generations into safe spaces.

Thanks to many who are going through the same feelings about just wanting to stay at home and not go out.
I was very gregarious, and used to go on coach trips abroad and in this country on my own, but three years ago I fell and and injured my shoulder badly.
Unfortunately I lost confidence my husband now has to do the shopping for me. So I haven’t been outside for a long time.
However, I found that YTube has been a big help as I discovered that there are many videos of people travelling abroad or country side walks , visiting historic houses, even bus trips that I can watch on my 50 sized big screen and feel that I am there . It’s helped me so much and Ilook forward to a new journey every day. It’s the best thing that has helped me.

This could be me and I would resist the people who are trying to liven you up and drag you out of the house. I used to travel the world solo and have dealt with customer and client groups all my life. I am now often sick to death of people and don't want their problems and interruptions into my day. I try to do everything by email or home delivery so I dont have to go out and interact as little as possible. I have done more than my bit for the community and retirement is supposed to be "easy street" so I don't feel in the least guilty in keeping myself to myself.

GoldenAge

travels afar - seems like you are beginning to suffer from social anxiety and if I were you I would ask your GP for some counselling since a little talking therapy might help iron out the reasons why this is happening. You belong to social groups, you have been doing your shopping yourself and at different places, yet you are now rejecting this pattern of living in favour of sitting at home, not even watching the news, but becoming a recluse effectively, not even wanting to bother family. These are red flags so unless you are becoming infirm and worried about falling or needing the loo a little too frequently, find out the underlying reasons for withdrawing from society. Try some closer social groups so that if you really feel you need to get home quicker, you can if you can socialise in the day rather than when it gets darker do that too. There might well be a safety element tied in with your anxiety. Good luck.

Red flags? Social anxiety? Withdrawing from society? Becoming a recluse? Well, I must be suffering with the same problem then. If asked, my response would be, I find so many people and things that are 'expected' of me in society to be dull and boring. I don't want to hear about little Jonny wonderful, or make another picture or painting, or have a coffee morning with moaning minnies. I prefer my own company and doing my own thing. If honest, I was always very bright, and now in old age find I cut to the chase and remove anything that does not interest me.

I would rather stay home, i very rarely go out anymore, its just not worth the effort. Husband does the shopping or i do it online.

travels afar - seems like you are beginning to suffer from social anxiety and if I were you I would ask your GP for some counselling since a little talking therapy might help iron out the reasons why this is happening. You belong to social groups, you have been doing your shopping yourself and at different places, yet you are now rejecting this pattern of living in favour of sitting at home, not even watching the news, but becoming a recluse effectively, not even wanting to bother family. These are red flags so unless you are becoming infirm and worried about falling or needing the loo a little too frequently, find out the underlying reasons for withdrawing from society. Try some closer social groups so that if you really feel you need to get home quicker, you can if you can socialise in the day rather than when it gets darker do that too. There might well be a safety element tied in with your anxiety. Good luck.

I was becoming housebound, putting everything off. I’ve signed up to walk 30 miles in September in aid of Cancer Research.I still have to force myself through the front door and am only walking as far as my impaired mobility allows. I find once I actually get out I have unexpected interactions and conversations which remind me I am in a world full of people who are mostly perfectly reasonable and may even be really pleasant! I called on someone I hadn’t seen for a while, prepared for her to not feel like a visitor but found her extremely pleased to see me. She had been in hospital, isn’t in good health, and enjoyed chatting about grandchildren and jobs we did years ago.This afternoon I sat on a wall for a rest and chatted for about 15 minutes with someone about 20 years younger who had just retired and is looking forward to having more time to himself. I wonder who I might meet tomorrow!

Yes, I desperately do not want to take part in boring conversations and small talk. I don’t want to be bothered with airports anymore but just holiday in the UK. I don’t want to be on any committees, or lead anything, or give lectures and talks. I have cut down on volunteering. I’ve been there, done all that.

I just want to meet up with my 4 or 5 good local friends for coffees, lunches, concerts, events, none of which I am responsible for! Lie back, enjoying the efforts of others. I’m not lazy, I’ve taken my turn.

This year I have at last acknowledged I feel physically older. I’m 86 and a widow, but am still me and am mentally and emotionally as strong as ever, just physically slowing down.

I think I’m spoiled by having catchup tv, DVD’s to watch and podcasts to listen to. I just love podcasts ( my current favourite is Book Club). I know it sounds a bit sad but I look on the people doing them almost as friends. I do wonder if I’m make more effort to get out and about if I didn’t have such things to watch or listen to.

Rocketstop2

I think that you lose a bit of confidence about going out alone if you are ill, under the weather or have health conditions.I used to be perfectly happy going everywhere alone, But now, I have anxiety about it, wondering if I will feel unwell.It's pathetic and I hate it !
However I do see people occasionally and am ok with that.

I am quite happy to go to the cinema on my own and also I will go to a restaurant on my own,quite happy to do that..(thankfully, no health issues at the moment)
I think my kids are quite horrified by the fact that I’m going by myself, but I do not need another person with me to validate myself…😁

I am enjoying this discussion because I have been asking myself for a while why increasingly I choose to be at home, usually on my own. So glad other people are doing the same. It was a couple of years ago when I first noticed to my astonishment that I was perfectly happy pottering around my house and garden. When I was younger I would either have been bored, got FOMO, or felt guilty about not 'achieving' anything. I do think its an age thing, but if age brings contentment then it must be good.

I think that you lose a bit of confidence about going out alone if you are ill, under the weather or have health conditions.I used to be perfectly happy going everywhere alone, But now, I have anxiety about it, wondering if I will feel unwell.It's pathetic and I hate it !
However I do see people occasionally and am ok with that.

Reading your second post, you seem to be doing pretty well, travelsafar.
The thing is, it's sometimes hard work keeping one's morale up. At least, that's what I find, being an elderly widow without any family living nearby. I like cooking so I invite friends and neighbours for meals quite often.
As for the news, I used to be a bit of a junkie, but feel increasingly disengaged.

Norah

SpinDriftCoastal I think there are different types of people, those who thrive when in the company of others and always busy, and those who prefer alone time and only the company of those they really resonate with.

Many people are introverts.

I much prefer being alone or with my family.

I think it is more complicated than that. There are those of us who do not have a social circle of friends through a group knowing and liking each other after meeting at school, or living in the same road.

For many of us our friends and social contacts come from our meeting up with other people who share our interests, so all my friends come from being in the same local history group, or supporting a particular cause, activities where we are working together for a shared cause, outside that cause we probably have limited contact with each other.

I find this thread quite sad.
Though many seem happy with not seeing people.

Genuine question - if the outside world people were all nice, would that make you go out?

I would like to do more but very short on energy at the moment,and have ibs, diverticulitis and arthritis so although not seriously sick I often feel under par. I still work part time and can't cope with much socialising at all.
I'm hoping I can afford to retire soon and will have more energy for the family and hobbies and I long to travel again, having only been away for 3 nights since the beginning of Covid.

I think my post may have been taken wrongly although I live alone I volunteer 15/20 hours a week where I am very sociable and talkative to everyone any anyone
I have a few friends I go out with for coffee What I don’t do any longer is want to be going far away from my familiar places, I go to my beach, alone or with friends, I go for coffee or lunches with friends and I go to my allotment, I go shopping. I don’t go out much in the evenings and I don’t venture far away any more I don’t want to go abroad alone any more as I used to, so I do know things have changed but I m not depressed in any way.
For me I think it’s a natural progression of age other people seeing big changes may be depressed or unwell