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I think I'm becoming a grumpy old woman

(49 Posts)
Flakesdayout Wed 28-Sep-22 15:41:34

I went shopping in Aldi this morning. It is set in a new shopping development so was busy, especially the car park. Some items were not available. I wanted some milk. The 4 pint cartons of skimmed milk were sold out and the 2 pints right at the back on a shelf and I couldnt reach them. I asked a staff member to help and asked if she had any 4 pint cartons. I got growled at 'if its not there then we haven't. I told her not to bother. I just wanted to leave my trolley where it was and leave. So I took myself to the checkout and got another unhappy looking staff member. What ever happened to customer service? I then went over to Marks & Spencer. What a difference. Lovely girl had to move over to let me get a cauliflower. She said ' have a new one' and handed me one fresh from her replenishment boxes. I then asked about something else and she was so polite, smiley and helpful. Then another staff member came to my aid. I dont want to be critical, but food shopping can be a chore at the best of times and I certainly dont want to be spoken to so rudely. Is it me or am I just becoming more intolerant? Even the post office delivery driver used my driveway to turn around in - a real bug bear of mine. Grrr

BlueBelle Wed 28-Sep-22 16:19:30

I don’t think grumpiness or lack of customer skills has any relationship with a particular shop or store
The staff at my Aldi are all very pleasant whereas a few weeks ago when taking a jumper back to M and S I got an older lady who was very rude to me. it hasn’t stopped me shopping at M and S I acknowledge that any store can have its surly rude assistants and equally any store can have a pleasant smiler helpful assistant
So I personally think you are over reacting and perhaps your life is just a bit trying for you at the moment
If an assistant had reacted to me like that I wouldn’t have stopped shopping I d would probably have said “ well that wasn’t a very helpful reply” and carried on getting my things

I think you are rather generalising on the one minute of unhelpful interaction you had

FannyCornforth Wed 28-Sep-22 16:25:20

M&S and Aldi have completely different business models.
You pay a lot extra for equivalent stuff in M&S due to employing staff to help you, better customer service, slower checkout etc.
You pays your money, you takes your choice.
And I can guarantee which choice most people will be plumping for in the very near future

Joy241 Wed 28-Sep-22 16:33:17

It is possibly a generalisation to infer that a particular store's staff are rude. I don't think, however, that it is too much to expect courtesy wherever one shops.

HeavenLeigh Wed 28-Sep-22 16:41:28

I expect good manners whichever shop I go in, worked in retail for over 50 years and was always helpful to customers, no matter how i was feeling. I’ve only shopped in Aldi a few times but I know at the tills they rush you or try to, but I’ve never found them to be rude.

Mapleleaf Wed 28-Sep-22 16:51:45

Surely good manners is not beyond the reach of anyone - whoever they are and wherever are? Sadly, we seem to live in a society where at times, one wonders if it is! ?

I suppose, too, we don’t always know what has happened to someone on any given day, they might appear rude at a particular moment because of something they are dealing with on a personal level, and are usually nice people. However, if you happen to be on the receiving end of their grumpy/rude moment, it’s not very nice for you at all.

Nightsky2 Wed 28-Sep-22 17:01:29

No I don’t think you’re becoming a grumpy old woman.

I shop at Marks a lot, I was there earlier today as I had to take something back. I find the staff extremely helpful and the young girl who served me today was charming. I couldn’t find my receipt and she just waited while I rummaged through my purse trying to find it. I ended up having to accept a voucher which I was able to use in the food hall.
I haven’t been to Aldi since before lockdown but the staff at my local shop have always been polite. I expect staff to be polite to me wherever I choose to shop and if they weren’t I would say something….I think.

Kalu Wed 28-Sep-22 17:12:19

I’m sure we all have problems to deal with but I personally would never take having ‘a bad day’ out on anyone else and you are not at all grumpy OP.

Whenever I come across a grumpy, unhelpful shop assistant my usual question is, ‘sorry, am I being a nuisance asking you to serve me? If that doesn’t change their attitude, I will find another, more helpful assistant. I can’t stand bad manners!

lixy Wed 28-Sep-22 17:21:50

Isn't it strange how we all have off days for no apparent reason whatsoever?

I have had both good and bad experiences in both the stores mentioned in the OP. Marks seems particularly fraught just after Christmas.

You're not a GOW, just someone feeling a bit off running into somebody else's bad day. Fix on a smile and hope for better luck next time.

GagaJo Wed 28-Sep-22 19:51:09

They're lovely in my Aldi. It's my first stop shop. I go elsewhere for the bits I can't get there.

Having said that, I've been a grumpy old woman since the age of about 40. DGAF either!

CanadianGran Wed 28-Sep-22 20:43:17

I recently had a bad experience with a newer clerk at our local grocery store. She tossed all items in the bag without any care and then failed to print the receipt. When I asked for the receipt, she grumpily hit a few buttons and said she couldn't now. Meanwhile she started tossing the next customer's items...

I called the manager when I got home, stated what till I was on, and suggested that the new clerk needed more customer service and bagging training. I don't want to get them fired or in trouble, just to learn properly how things should be done. It wasn't the first time I called the manager for a new hire that needed a bit of managing.

kircubbin2000 Wed 28-Sep-22 21:18:14

A friend who is a carer had taken her client to lunch at KFC. The server refused to give her a receipt which she needed to claim her expenses.She was shouted at and told she needed to leave the queue. Manager was called and friend thought this was a racist incident as she is not white.

bevisp1 Fri 30-Sep-22 11:47:47

It’s not you, some people have no manners anymore. You may be abit more intolerant of some things, like myself I get irritated by parcel people including postmen who ask if I’d take in deliveries for the neighbors. If I’m not expecting a parcel and see a delivery person then I ignore the doorbell. What’s happened to post office, they should be leaving a card to say that a parcel needs collecting from main collection office?? My irritation is that I’m not a post office, holding other neighbors post..

Gabrielle56 Fri 30-Sep-22 11:49:02

To quote mama" good manners cost NOWT" ....I get that staff may be going through some bad times too , but hey,! It's not our fault!! I agree that manners and some consideration for others is a rare creature nowadays.its still there but rare.

MaggsMcG Fri 30-Sep-22 11:50:20

Not everything is racist! Just because you happen to be a different colour to the person being rude. It's happened to me in our local fast food shops where all the employees are "not white". I didn't calk that racist but I could have.

Gabrielle56 Fri 30-Sep-22 11:50:56

kircubbin2000

A friend who is a carer had taken her client to lunch at KFC. The server refused to give her a receipt which she needed to claim her expenses.She was shouted at and told she needed to leave the queue. Manager was called and friend thought this was a racist incident as she is not white.

Grrrr.. makes my blood boil! My son's lanyard gave away his foreign name and a spud van man was so racist that we reported to police who.......did exactly zilch! Why? You may ask? Maybe because he's white?

Jess20 Fri 30-Sep-22 11:51:20

I queued at the 'please wait to be seated' sign in a half empty pizza express last weekend for ages. The staff member finally came over and said sorry about the wait but unless I'd booked there were no tables. I wasn't pleased and yes, I was a grumpy old woman and stormed off saying ' wish you'd said that 15 minutes ago'

Caleo Fri 30-Sep-22 11:52:00

As Fanny Cornforth says, they are different business models. Within these different models you also get individual employees with different social skills.

pascal30 Fri 30-Sep-22 12:07:10

I imagine the assistant in Aldi was having a stressed day...they work really hard for lowish wages. My experiences of Aldi and Lidl are that the assistants are smiley and friendly.. don't take it personally...

Dylant1234 Fri 30-Sep-22 12:10:08

Yes, you do sound grumpy tbh. Why can’t the delivery guy turn in your driveway - why are people so precious about their driveways?!?

Prentice Fri 30-Sep-22 12:10:51

BlueBelle

I don’t think grumpiness or lack of customer skills has any relationship with a particular shop or store
The staff at my Aldi are all very pleasant whereas a few weeks ago when taking a jumper back to M and S I got an older lady who was very rude to me. it hasn’t stopped me shopping at M and S I acknowledge that any store can have its surly rude assistants and equally any store can have a pleasant smiler helpful assistant
So I personally think you are over reacting and perhaps your life is just a bit trying for you at the moment
If an assistant had reacted to me like that I wouldn’t have stopped shopping I d would probably have said “ well that wasn’t a very helpful reply” and carried on getting my things

I think you are rather generalising on the one minute of unhelpful interaction you had

I agree with BlueBelle
Although some shops such as Waitrose have very good customer service, it is their business modus operandi, it varies from store to store even there.
Some shop assistants are naturally helpful and kind and others surly and unhelpful.Such is life.

hilz Fri 30-Sep-22 12:20:06

Not too much to ask for assistants to treat customers with polite retorts but I guess sometimes the mask slips, after all we have all probably growled unfairly over time to someone we have met day to day. Next time just ask them if they are having a bad day. If they are it may help. If they aren't it will certainly disarm them and hopefully make them think about how they seem to you.

Yammy Fri 30-Sep-22 12:27:18

I think many of us are turning into Victor Meldrew and it is not necessarily our fault. It is the way we were brought up and expected to behave. I don't think it matters which shop or public place it depends on the assistant.
In M&S they were restocking. There was a racket suddenly an adult voice rang out"If your coming in here to Bl...y bother me F...off home it was an assistant and her daughter. If they are spoken to like that what can we expect?
At the Dentist they kept me waiting 40 mins for the hygenist because an American chap would not wait his turn.
When I got to her she was in a foul mood and I was on the receiving end. I phoned to make sure I had not been booked in with her again,the receptionist encouraged me to make a complaint about her attitude and treatment.sad

dumdum Fri 30-Sep-22 12:36:02

Bevispl I always take in parcels for neighbours. It’s a pain having to go the sorting office which is rarely open. In these days of strikes it’s even worse, it’s shut tomorrow and Monday, so for the sake of a few moments we always take stuff in.

Frankie51 Fri 30-Sep-22 12:56:43

I would always report that kind of rudeness to the manager as it's certainly not good service. The manager might not be aware it's going on. We had one assistant in our local convenience store , who was very rude to my husband , calling him an insulating racist name . We'd only gone to the counter with some bargain Christmas paper , and she objected to him getting a bargain.
It was shocking , and we rang the store when we got home . The manager took it very seriously, as it reflected on the store. The staff member in question was warned and sent on a training course , but eventually decided to leave. The manager told us there had been other complaints .
We were glad we complained .