If the younger generation have Mummy Porn.....

Flip Flop Flo is hoping to interview Mr Beige's mother Onya Backyerbitch who worked many of the airport clientele visiting and leaving Russia.
Mr Beige's father was on a package holiday from Spain that had been delayed due to strike action by air traffic control and were forced to land in Moscow where he complete with straw donkey under one arm and a sombrero in the other and a rather fetching criss cross pattern on his chest from falling asleep in the sun with his string vest on whipped his knotted hanky from his head to wipe the beads of perspiration from his brow from the flush of lust the ravishing Onya caused in him..their mating was fast and furious and completed only after hearing his flight being called from behind the newspaper kiosk where they hurriedly exchanged their details and went in their different directions this being the moment Mr Beige was conceived.
Flo was all agog she wanted details the more lurid the better......

Go for it, Nellie...

Think we could benefit from a jump start here,should we introduce a new character Flip flop Flo from Lils pub Mooning on the Square is writing a novel,perhaps she would provide us with some inspiration picked up from her Granny Gap year,I have heard she has pretty exotic tastes,maybe she will enlighten us.....

Lost for words -I'll jump in when the opportunity occurs!

'Innocence, my bloomers!' Spat Mr Beige's mother through a set of dentures that rattled alarmingly. 'You used to be such a good boy...look at you now! You're a disgrace! Your greyer than grey Y-fronts tossed with reckless abandon in the corner together with the double-knit, sludge-brown, knee-high socks, that I spent 12 months knitting for special occasions, are testament to your downfall. And how many times have I told you to beware of little hussies who wear fancy pants? I blush to think of the girl who would parade around in outsize-extra-plus Sloggis. Has she no shame?'

Oh mummy cried Mr Beige please will you put my nappy on now and can I have the the lilac spotty rubber pants and my purple dummy to match,and will you spank me for being such a naughty boy and can I play on your mobility scooter before I go to bed,that,that nasty Ana took advantage of me and robbed me of my innocence.....

think I may be just a wee bit squiffy [after that match!]

Anyways...Mrs Backyervitch toddled to the window, coughed, looked down, coughed again and raised a shaggy eyebrow. 'Vot are you doin on ze grass, darlink?' she said throatily. 'Vu vill get another chill in you nethers. Vu silly votsit.' Ana kept a low profile. Her ample buttocks appeared to be well rounded boulders, happily seated between the conifers. Mrs Backyervitch was not amused by her son's antics. 'Put on your Vye-fronts vis minute, naughty boy. Early bed for vu tonight. ..and no stories...

Ex sailor. Had to do knots, whipping and splicing as part of the RYA qualifications.

Are you telling me politely to get knotted ..*jeni*.

Coooo Jeni, You aint arf clever!! I'd take my hat off to you -but the wind blew it away!

Nothing like a nice eight strand back splice!

matron has enough trouble tying her shoe laces,but have no objection to be shown the ropes

Ah! Whipping, and don't forget splicing!

Ana I bet Matron is a whizz kid at those "special" knots!!

Nearly forgot the common whipping, too!

Don't forget your sheetbend, essential in a storyline on here!

I've always liked the sound of the constrictor knot, the handcuff knot and the munter friction hitch. Or if in a good mood, the snuggle hitch!

or a round turn and two half hitches!!!

I was. I can tie anyone in knots!
My favourites are the sheep shank and bowlines.

No I wasn't, so I can only do granny knots - which is rather appropriate, given the name and nature of this thread....

What are you like with knots Ana, were you a Girl Guide?

'Tie up'?
We haven't even got to that stage yet....have we?

I hope my story lines tie up with other folks to make continuity of these thrilling plots we contrive? My imagination runs away with me at times!!

If I upset folks at any time, it is not" with intent"- (much too cosy, the tent!) . I'll go seek out other GD's in the shed!

No not really gramps a bit before my era....although see poor Eric has recently passed away just like fun and words