Self conscious about body with husband.

You all seem so lucky to have lovely DHs as my ex husband belittled me about my aging body, wobbly belly, chunky thighs, told me he no longer fancied me, compared the number of my face wrinkles to his, my thinning hair (he was completely bald btw), I’m 71. Worst of all I think he enjoyed it. I’m so glad I escaped from the relationship and now live on my own and am beginning to rebuild my confidence.

I've always had very low self esteem and been obsessive about body image .Even in the days I was a size six.of course it didn't help that my mother used to tell me I was fat and my sister said I had legs like treetrunks! Sadly I'm no better now and my OH is fed up to the back teeth with me dieting and exercising and complaining thats clothes dont "sit right" on me .I very rarely take my clothes off in any kind of light ,unless I'm alone .I understand how you feel even though I know its being unrealistic.My OH has aged remarkably well and people tend to think he's 20 years younger than he is which makes my wee belly feel massive .I've had friends say ,as recent as last week that I'm skinny ...not when I look in the mirror I'm not! I'm currently wearing size 10 some 8's .and I realise thats not fat but it just doesn't compute with what I see .My problem is me ,my OH has no complaints .

That is beautiful, TerryM.

Aw dragonfly loved your post.?

@TerryM - such a beautiful story.........

Having just come back from holiday and having seen lots of young women in bikinis what I regret most is that I didn't appreciate my body when I was young. As for now it's just a very good job my eyesight is fading.

I'm with sandelf. I haven't been in a relationship for many years, but if it should happen, I would definitely invest in some lingerie that hid the extras.I think that when you have been in a relationship for many years, the love is deep, and transcends the physical.

I can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror any more, but thankfully, I don't have to worry about what my man thinks because I don't have one.

You say yourself that your better half no longer looks like the young man you married, so try not to worry.

He probably has never noticed the difference if he is anything like my DH that is, He asserts, and means it, that I haven't changed at all in the years he has known me. I know that isn't true, but I don't think men notice the changes as much as we do.

Thank you all for your reassurance and I know I'm not alone! I also know that my DH does still love me despite the flaws, as I still love him, even though we don't often have sex any more. The physical effects of ageing are a bastard though!

At 67 and 66 if my hubby if we haven't got our glasses on we both probably look OK.
[gtin]

While all the above are true, if it helps you feel relaxed, no harm in adding nice slips or gowns into the mix.

Aw-how lovely! We all get older and have to adapt. I recall saying to my husband one night, as I was stripping off for bed, a few years ago now “oh dear, my body isn’t the slim, shapely one it once was since having the children”. His immediate response? “You now have the body of a woman and you’re still beautiful to me”.

My father became very unwell just before he passed. He was in hospital .
Mum was sitting with him and she was significantly along the path of dementia and had been for some stage at this time. She was oh so horrible and mean with this disease .
I was wearing infectious diseases attire as dad had the MRSA bug.
Dad was "in the sixties " time frame .I asked him who I was . His response was "ahhh hello matron ". So isn't recognising his only child
I asked him who the woman (my cranky late seventies aged mother ) was ....dad's response "this is my beautiful wife" and he looked so happy .
My father didn't have dementia but at this time was not with us in 2014 due to the illness that took him about two weeks later
I tell you this story as my father loved my cranky irritable alll knowing mother lol and always saw her as his beautiful bride .
As others have said your husband more than likely still has those rose coloured glasses and always will

I was bemoaning my saggy breasts and lamenting that I am about a year overdue for new bras but dh said that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me.

As dragonfly says, a trip to the optician is called for!!

I think it depends on the way you view bodies. Mine with it's saggy bits, scars, stretch marks etc. tells the story of my life. We don't see older bodies in advertising because we're conditioned to see the young, slender/muscular body depending on gender as the height of perfection. Something that we should all aim to achieve. Be perfect. Don't have any saggy bits or boobs that drop into your armpits when you lie down or pot bellies and receding hairlines. Fight the signs of aging and definitely whatever you do don't look old.

You only say your husband has a pot belly, that is because you love him.You do not see all the other things, wrinkles,saggy skin,veins,blemishes,poor muscle tone,hair loss or excess.He will not see your faults either.

Old naked bodies are not attractive so are ,thankfully, not shown in the media very often. If they were you would compare yourself to them instead of the love island type bodies.

I told my husband I was not the woman he married with a scar instead of a breast and no hair but he told me he still finds me beautiful. Better get him to Specsavers I think

I feel the same way but DH says that my body is beautiful (he's such a nice man lol). He says he loves me and it doesn't matter if I'm thin or not so thin (so tactful). Do you love your DH regardless of his pot belly and sagging bits? I bet you do. Well it's the same for him. He loves and your sagging bits are part of you..

None of us are what we were several years ago and maybe your husband doesn't like his body either so I wouldn't worry too much. If you both care for each other that's all that really matters.

Please note that M and S (for instance) now uses some aged models for their photos. They are really attractive in ways that the smooth young models don't go.

I would not worry, if you are growing old together you accept the downside of ageing.
I sometimes tease DH and talk about grabbing a granny but he assures me he still sees the 17 year old he first started dating. I think he is being very polite but he has seen me with all my op scars and ostomy bag and hasn't run for the hills.

If you have always been okay with it and only now feel conscious then I honestly think you shouldn't worry, your husband has seen you age and to be frank he probably doesn't even notice your saggy bits. Your still you. Be happy with what you have and embrace it