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After dying my hair - "Why are you looking witchy, nanny? It's not Halloween."

My grandsons have developed a facination for who came out of whose tummy. I thought they finally understood and the conversation went -
"So Daddy came out of your tummy?"
"Yes"
"Then he got big, met Mum and I came out of Mum's tummy?"
"Yes that's correct"
"Then my brother came out of Mum's tummy?"
"Yes" This is going well I thought....
"Did you come out of Mum's tummy too?"
"No, I had another Mummy. She was your Daddy's Gran"
"Oh where is she?"
"She died a long, long time ago"
Silence while this was processed
"Did the Zombies get her?"

We were at a park in the pets corner where lets just say the rabbits were quite active! One was on top of the other. My granddaughter (she's 3!) started shouting grandma that rabbit is really hurting the other one, make it stop Grandma!' Frantically clapping her hands to try to scare the rabbit off, it eventually jumped off! (much to her relief!) She then asked why the rabbit didn't fight back..was funny, a day we'll never forget!

My friend's granddaughter was watching her apply face cream "what is that for Nanny?" "To stop me getting wrinkles" little one comes back with. " you haven't used enough" !!

'How come if I could 'swim down the birth canal' when I was born, I can't swim now?'

Grandma " Why do all stories begin with 'Once Upon A Time'"?

My grandson asked me the other day while watching Star Wars, "what was it like when you were young, was the Empire bad then" I couldn't help laughing

When my daughter was 5, my mother told her she was growing up too fast and needed to slow down. she said But it isn't my fault Granny It's mums's fault She keeps giving me all those birthday parties lol

As I came in from the garden on a hot day I started to itch.
"I think I've been bitten!" I remarked.
3 year old GD said anxiously
"Was it a crocodile Nana?"

My gd said nanny if a crab drinks daddy beer will it walk in a straight line! we all fell about laughting

when i said they could get their ears pierced when they are 18 and my daughter said "but you will be dead by then".

I often double cook, & freeze, but I was shocked when my dear Granddaughter asked our guests if they liked eating leftovers as that was what I was serving them!

My friend's little boy asked me if Hong Kong was King Kong's brother

when picking my 5 yr old grandson up from school he solemnly informed me that his best friend ha been abducted ,on further conversation it became clear his friend was adopted

When babysitting my granddaughter she looked at me and said ' nana have I got ppi? Couldn't move for laughing!

Why is that man on fire ? 2 year old Francesca who'd never seen anyone smoking before. And no, not a family or friend, but a random builder we walked past.

My follicly challenged husband was topless and my granddaughter asked me 'Oma (German for Nanna) has Granddad's hair fallen on to his chest?'

GD asked 'Why does Mummy moan so much...' I kept very quiet and changed the subject!

On collecting DH and grandson from duck pond I got into the passenger seat leaving grandson very confused "did you push the car here by hand granny?" He said!

My grandson asked if he could have a look in my hair on the back of my head because he wanted to see where my eyes were ( the ones in the back of my head !! )

My grand daughter, then aged three, asked what the long sausage behind my front door was for, so I told her it was to stop draughts coming under the door. She looked a little puzzled but said nothing. About an hour later she asked "But why do the giraffes want to come under the door?"

Being asked "What was is like in the old days, when everything was black and white?" The little madam thought that real life was black and white, and that colour only came in when we got colour TV's!

While walking the little one to the park I was asked 'please can you ask that woman if we can buy her baby'. It was embarrassing because she would ask in a loud voice near everyone who was with a pushchair. I would just smile while cringing on the inside. She thinks babies are made in shops and you buy them :-)

I was chasing my younger grandaughter around the garden when all of a sudden she stopped dead in her tracks turned around and shouted at me " Your a nanny your supposed to be too old to chase me "

Taking my granddaughter to feed the ducks on the village pond, and walking over the grass on the village green, she asked: 'Why do geese do big poos?'