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When I was a child i went camping with my mum, dad and older brother to France. We had driven from The Wirral all the way to Dover and then onto Calais via the hovercraft. We got all of the way to our caravan park which was not far from Versaille in france and it was dark at this point. We realised just as the heavens opened that the tent polls were not in our tiny fiat panda. So whilst my mum and I sat in the car my poor brother was dragged off into the nearby woods to find sticks to hold the tent up with because we couldnt all fit in the tiny car. As it was we had already spent the journey sat on two double duvets... Surrounded by luggage. Every stick my brother brought was rotten and my dad was getting angrier by the second. They finally hitched it up against the car but the tent pegs were with the poles so it billowed up all night in the wind. My brother woke up outside soaking wet in the morning...the tent had blew over him in the night. We spent our the rest of the week in the farmer (who owned the parks) hay shed. Money was so tight my brother and I shared on icecream (he got the top and i got the bottom...i had to lick both sides really quickly) and we only got to look at the Eiffel Tower from the ground. Needless to say we were not best pleased to return home a week later and see the tent poles sat on the front wall waiting for us. My mum hasnt camped outside since! Im 30 and have yet to camp again!! Put off for life! In fact....i havent returned to France either!!

When my son Tom (who is now married with his own little one) was little we travelled to Thailand and stayed in a room with an outside wooden terrace. We could walk down our terrace steps through a lovely tropical garden to the beach. We kept finding him with only his legs sticking out from under the terrace. We eventually asked him what he was doing "playing with my dinosaur" was his reply. One afternoon after a tropical storm had passed we decided to take a walk. Opening our door my husband screamed and ran back in - the biggest reptile we had ever seen was just disappearing under the terrace! "My dinosaur!" Tom cried. We stopped him lying under the terrace after that!

I hope that the person running the competition is a lady with children so she sympathises with me, rather than is horrified at what I'm about to say. Ha, ha.
August last year my childhood bff's & I decided we we're long overdue​ some girly grown- up time (no children to interrupt our conversation!) & decided to book a weekend away. Cornwall was suggested & I jumped at the chance as the pictures looked breathtaking. The first day of the holiday we hit the beach& decided to take lots of pictures:posing on rocks, laying down, even star jumping. Well, I was a bit feeble trying to get myself of the ground, much to the amusement of the girls,we ended up in hysterics, trouble is after having had three children & not practised my pelvic floor exercises as much as I probably should have, I wet myself. Thankfully not a full blown wee but enough to be visible in my shorts (+the photos that followed.)

One of my first holidays abroad was to Corfu - we arrived at the hotel in the dark and in a storm, via an creepy dirty track through the woods. The hotel looked horrible - all bare brick, drab, cracked and old. As we went to our room, the light on the ceiling shook with the storm and the power went out. I sat and cried, wishing I was at home. The next morning, I woke up with the sun streaming in - I opened what I thought were floor to ceiling windows, to find that they were doors to our own private terrace, with a view of what looked like paradise. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. It turned out that we had arrived at the hotel via the little used rear entrance, and that everything looked much better on the other side, and on a sunny bright day.

Being young and up for an adventure, me and my mates decided to head for the music festival at Reading, Berkshire. Chipped in to hire a Transit van, chucked matresses in the back and set off from Aberdeen, Scotland for a 500 mile plus journey. A great weekend and the first time many of us had travelled into England. After the festival, we left the site, following the long line of vehicles heading towards the M4. It was dark and we were in awe of the lit up motorway, as we didn't have any motorways as far North as Aberdeen. Festival memories fresh in our minds and now we were heading home on the long journey up the length of the country....Or so we thought til we saw a great big sign on the motorway saying, "Welcome to Wales". Ooops!!

Last year we were lucky enough to have a holiday in a narrow boat with our two friends. We had completed three days of blissful boating, and it was time for us to find a turning place to turn our narrow boat around and make our way home. My husband was steering the boat at the time, and we had studied our Manuel to locate the next suitable place. As we were about to negotiate the turn around, I queried the lack of space, but was assured it would be ok!
My husband began the operation, only to hit the bank, and get the boat stuck in the mud! Poles to the ready, our friend frantically pushed to try and free the boat. Eventually with a lot of puffing and panting, the boat was freed. Our friend suggested he should complete the manoeuvre. Paul, our friend was an experienced narrow boater, so my husband agreed. Paul began reversing the boat, only to hit the bank behind, but the rudder handle had caught him unexpectedly and the consequence was, was that he was thrown backwards overboard. Poor Paul was unable to swim, so in his haste had miraculously managed to hang over the rear of the boat by one foot. When I saw this, I'm afraid I was in fits of laughter, and tried to record it on my iPad! Tears were running down my face because I couldn't stop laughing! Paul, at this point even though my husband offered him a hand to pull him back onboard, refused his offer of help, and amazingly through sheer strength and determination struggled to pull his body back onboard.
It was a brilliant holiday with many laughs. We are repeating the holiday in May this year. Our friends are up for another adventure!

One year we were camping and woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of screaming.
We were all terrified as the screaming went on and on, fellow campers enlightened us eventually- the sound was peacocks on the neighbouring estate.

We were getting back into the car in a carpark when my son shouts/sings to the people just getting out of the car next to us "Hello Mr Nobody, Mr Nobody, Mr Nobody" at the top of his lungs. As the man gets out the car he shakes hands with my four year old and says "Mr Nobody pleased to meet you, you must be Mr Somebody". At this point I am turning bright red, dying a death with embrassment and trying to apologise to the man. My son just keeps on saying it over and over and over. Then his wife gets out of the car and says "Hello there, I'm Mrs Nobody". Really feeling very embarrased now I am trying to get out of there as quickly as possible!!!

We visited Germany in the early 70's on a very wet camping holiday. My mother had no handle on metric weights and asked the assistant behind the counter for 10g of meat. Her face was a picture.

My mad loves elephants, so I took her to Sri Lanka as there is an elephant orphange there. My mum is a larger than character and does not usually do as she is told. She went up to a rogue blind elephant even though there were warning signs, and went running down a hill to a waterhole where mums and babies were drinking, followed by our guide screaming 'nooooo!' and followed by me shouting 'muuuum!' At the hotel a couple got married and had a decorated elephant attend, mum heard there was an elephant on site, gate crashed the wedding and during the vows she was talking to it, saying things like 'are you bored standing there?' in a rather loud voice. That was rather a memorable holiday!

When I was small (many years ago) my parents scraped up enough money for a week in Scarborough each year. The highlight of the holiday was The Waffle Man. He had a stall right next to the beach and served freshly cooked waffles with jam and cream. One year (I was about five) I was the proud owner of a new red blazer. We went for a walk in the late afternoon and ended up near the waffle stall. There was quite a crowd of people there. When we reached the front of the queue my dad bought a waffle for each of us. As he handed me mine someone in the crowd knocked me and the waffle splattered all down the front of my blazer-cream and jam everywhere. I screamed and screamed and started to cry. The noise upset the Waffle man so much he insisted on giving me a fresh new one. My new blazer was sponged and cleaned and I was comforted. My mother insisted on telling this story to everyone until I was about 50.

Me my hubby his brother, wife and kids decided to have a weekend in blackpool we thought we could drive in and check into a local bed and breakfast this was quite a few years ago. We drove up which took about 4 hours went to the nearest bed and breakfast to be told sorry we are fully booked went onto the next one to be told the same and that you will be very lucky to find anywhere with availability as it was there illuminations, i dread to think how many bed and breakfasts we tried we even was trying hotels which all was fully booked, we ended up having to find a empty car park and sleep in the car at the time this was an absolute nightmare the kids loved it as it was an adventure for them but when the family are all together we all look back and laugh about it. We now always make sure we book well in advance.

Following my wedding in 2013 my new husband and I were lucky enough to go to Barbados for our honeymoon. After a couple of days lounging on the beautiful beach we decided to go on a scuba boat trip to swim with turtles (I stayed on the boat, it had a glass bottom and I wasn't keen on getting too friendly with a turtle). My husband jumped in the water. Unfortunately he didn't tell anyone he had never scuba dived before, inhaled a lot of water and looked to be drowning. I thought he was having a heart attack and was actually considering how to tell people my husband of 3 days was no more. And how was I going to get his body home?! Luckily the boat trip man saved him and he managed to stay alive for the rest of the trip.

In Spain, I wanted to buy some mushrooms in the supermarket. I asked the assistant for 'un cuarto de kilo de champinones' (quarter of a kilo of mushrooms). She looked at me with a puzzled axpression and asked me something in Spanish that I didn't understand. Too embarrassed to say that I didn't understand, i just nodded and said 'si'. She disappeared for a few minutes, then reappeared with a lot of carrier bag over her arm. It was only when she started to fill the third one with mushrooms that i realized there had been a misunderstanding. Turns out she thought i wanted 4 kilos! When i tried to stop her she got quite angry, and I ended up having to pay for 4 kilos anyway. Much as we like mushrooms, they took some using, I can tell you!

I had an accident in my car and broke my arm which was duly put in plaster. A few days later I tripped rushing up the stairs, put my other arm out to save me and broke that too. Now both arms were in plaster and we were all going on holiday. The weather was beautiful and I was determined to make the most of it considering my recent bad luck so I put on my bikini (I was only 40 years old at the time) with a struggle and went to sit by the side of the pool, dangling my legs in the water. The water felt lovely and I was imagining what it would be like to actually be in the water with hubby and children when my two little horrors ran up behind me and pushed me in. Both plastered arms were soaked through and went soft and soggy and I ended up in the local hospital having to have them both replaced. Needless to say it has always been a talking point that mummy (and now grandma) went on holiday and got plastered!! Definitely one of the funniest holidays I've ever been on....it's not easy getting dressed or washing etc., with both arms in plaster but it's a sight not to be missed!

I went to Washington on holiday with my hubby. The hotel literature said it was only 2 blocks from the White House. We started walking towards the White House and were moaning the whole way saying it was more than 2 blocks as it was proving a very long walk. When we got there, we realized we had made a huge, embarassing mistake... the building we walked to was in fact the Capitol Building, not the White House..Ooops! Silly us!

We were on the Golden Princess, setting sail from Venice, and eager to enjoy a final glimpse of the Grand Canal, were one of the last to leave the back deck of the ship. The waiters were clearing up around us as people drifted off to change for dinner. We were just remarking on a pigeon, pecking at the remnants of someone's snack at the table in front of us when a waiter approached. 'Is this yours?' he asked, indicating to the pigeon. 'Errr no' I replied wondering if he was having a joke with us. It seemed not - so we explained that he was probably an escapee from St Mark' Square and would fly back home any minute. Bizarre indeed.

Happy memories of family holidays taking our two children and both Mum and Mum-in-law, with us, we were visiting friends in France, staying in their holiday home in the Vandee. Before the holiday started we had been practicing some classroom French, just words we could use like Bonjour, merci, Bon nuit, etc etc, everyone was doing well,especially with the locals. On a visit to neighbouring towns, my dear Mum-in-law, was walking up a street, when she fell over when missing her footing on the kerb, we all ran to help her, and check she was ok, when she started grabbing at a gentlemans leg trying to pull herself up saying
"Merci Merci" and looking up at this poor Man, not knowing what she was saying, the children were beside themselves with laughter, my Husband was trying to get his Mum off of this Frenchman, who was speechless, but eventually saw the funny side, this story of our holiday has been told many many times, and even at Mum's funeral it was remembered. This was the first of her antics, we had a great time holidaying until well into both Mum's final years, what wonderful memories we have, and the children who now have children of their own have passed these stories on to them, I'm sure they will be remembered fondly

Ok, my not so funny story..............my partner and I along with my sister rented a villa in Tenerife for a fortnight. Saved up all year so we could have a relaxed and enjoyable 2 weeks in the sun, lots of food and sangria. Well all didn't go to plan! When we arrived the weather was ok, no problem as it will probably perk up! NO! This was not the case! 3 days after arriving we started getting text messages from friends and family: Are we Ok? Has the Typhoon hit yet? Mum: come home now!! Bemused we turned on the TV to see a report that there was going to be a bit of a storm. A bit of a storm was an understatement! Well that typhoon hit us well and truly! We woke up the next morning, came downstairs and the whole ground floor had flooded, the palm trees were in the pool and the wind was howling! In a slight panic we turned on the News (all in spanish) and not understanding a word i decided to walk (well wade through calf high water) to the resort reception with debris flying through the air to get towels to block the doors and to find out what was going on. So the government have put the island on lock down, nobody should leave their homes unless in an emergency, no flights on or off the island!! Can it get any worse! Oh yes!
On My way back to the villa, pile of towels in hand, I decide to stop off in the newly built Iceland supermarket to grab essentials. At first they wasn't going to let me in as they were shutting to go home but after much begging they let me grab what we needed. Came out of the supermarket and the roof has taken on so much rain water it caved in!
Made it back to the villa and we literally spent the next 3 days ringing out towels and reblocking doorways, trapped with the supplies I'd managed to grab from Iceland.
Anyways, the Typhoon came and went and left a trail of naff weather in its wake. We made the best of a bad situation and enjoyed the rest of our time as much as we could. As a right kick in the teeth on our last day, mother nature decided to grace us with 100 degree sunshine!
Thank you very much Tenerife until next time!

We were all walking by the sea when my Dh tripped and fell in and we all laughed so much, I fell in too.

Our one and only holiday to Florida, in 1991, could well be described as a comedy of errors. My husband stood up one day in the apartment, stretched his arms up in the air and nearly got them chopped off by the ceiling fan. We went to a crazy golf place, called El Dorado, set out like a Mexican village, with a little river running through it. I was taking photos, using hubby`s new, expensive camera, trying to get everyone in the picture, I stepped back a bit further, and fell in the river! It was only about 18" deep, but I was soaked, and the camera was a write off. Daughter and her husband laughed their socks off, but I had to walk around the rest of the time in slowly drying shorts and top, good job Florida is hot!
A few nights later, there was a spectacular thunderstorm. Hubby went out onto the balcony to look at the effect over the sea, but he left the screen door open. I followed him out, closing it, saying "keep these closed, or the place will be full of mosquitoes". Obviously, he didn`t realise I`d done this, because he turned to go back inside, and walked straight into the mesh screen door, which ended up flat on the ground! We spent the last 2 days of our holiday getting it fixed, so we wouldn`t lose the $100 deposit!

"You know were off on holiday in August, can you take us to the airport please". "Yeah, no problem" was my reply to my brothers request. All arrangements were made and the months went flew by.
The morning of the day I was due to pick them up, I received a call, very early in the morning! "Where are you?", my brothers stressed voice flowed from my phone. Confused and still half asleep, I replied, "At Clares! (my fiancé at the time), "Why"... Then in a panicked instant I realised. With only 50 minutes before 'check in' and me being over 100 miles away from my brothers house, I wasn't picking them up at 5pm, it was 5am. Arghhhhh

I remember my first camping holiday as a child, we went to Beira, Mozambique. It was a huge family affair with my gran, aunts, uncles and cousins. My gran drove us all mad by singing 'obladee obladah', my mom constantly complained about sand in the tent and beds. My two older brothers and the boy cousins went and caught this huge blue crab, that they proudly put in a bucket and hung it on the side of a trail to keep it safe over night. We all went to bed, but the next morning the boys were so upset that their crab had escaped.
Not long after finding out it had gone, the man from the next tent came out, his toe was bright red and sore looking. The adults asked what had happened, only to find out that a crab had bitten him! The man said he couldnt believe that a crab had come out of the sea into his tent in the night and bit him.
The boys were very quiet, until he was out of sight and burst into laughter.
We used to have such fun on those holidays, and many memories were made.

When we were small. We used to go and visit my grand. We did not have a car, so some uncle will give us a lift home. We were a big family.... eight children. We got in the car somehow and on the way back home. About 15 or 20 minutes ride, one of us shouted.....where is Beb(my second youngest brother's name). We had lef him behind, nobody noticed at the time. So we made a U turn for my gran' house. Guess where he was.! Behind a cupboard or wardrobe eating cake (face and hsnds full of cake). Now we can laught about it and embarrass him. C

I think Ethelwulf should win with that wonderful poem. My dire holiday with my parents, cosy and warm in their camper van, while myself, husband and two small sons shivered in a tent beside the van for two loooong weeks in wet France, can't begin to compete!The only thing that kept us sane was reading out loud a chapter of "The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole 13 1/4" each night as the rain leaked in the tent and the next door tent's child weed up our tent as it was too awful to go to the toilets. I have never camped since and I never will!