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I work in a restaurant and yesterday a customer asked for some ketchup and mayonnaise. I got the dishes went to the fridge and for some reason, got out the milk, filled the dishes and went back to the customer. We were both rather surprised when I put the dishes down. Red face!

soooo many to chose from, but the funniest is putting the dinner in the washing machine to cook, looking through the glass thinking, it doesnt look like its cooking?

I was going out for lunch with friends a couple of months ago. I heard the car arrive, looked out and it was theirs, I was ready, I hopped in the front seat to discover the car belonged to my neighbour's nephew who must have wondered if I had totally lost it. I moved very quickly. My friends arrived soon after and they laughed when I told them what I had done.

Agreeing to do a talk at a museum 30 miles away six months in advance ,
Came the day, I'd spent two days preparing, and my husband drove me to the venue , rushing because we were late , only to find we were a whole week early .

Putting the powder and softener in the washing machine. Setting it off Then looking at the pile of clothes next to it, realising I had not put the washing in

I'm only 36 so really just the usual running upstairs to get something, getting sidetracked by washing, and then forgetting what I came for!

I took my coat off the coat peg at home forgetting that it was hanging on a wooden coat hanger. I then walked to town and it wasn’t until my husband walked ahead of me that I realised I had a large coat hanger threaded through the belt of my coat.

I was in M&S with a friend and I spotted a lovely tall glass on the shelf. "That would do for my G&Ts," I said. My friend nearly doubled up: it was a VASE!

I asked for a book of second hand Christmas stamps in the post office recently.

My mother discussing two fighter planes colliding over Germany
‘ the pilots were lucky, they had time to ejaculate first!’

Another time talking about the cooling towers on the Wednesbury Wolverhampton road
‘ during the war, they were so well camouflaged that if you shut your eyes, you couldn’t see them!’

My daughter had put a load of washing in her machine but had to dash out before she could set it going. I was going to her house to drop some stuff off, so she phoned and asked me if I'd put the machine on for her. I arrived at her house, took all the (dirty) washing out of the washing machine, put it in the tumble dryer, set it going and went home. I've never lived that one down.

I complained to my husband I couldn't find my reading glasses so I'd had to use my spares & now I'd even managed to misplace them. He looked at me oddly & patted the top of his head. Sure enough both pairs were perched on my head all the time!

We had been to the coast on the way home we parked in a lay-by to have a drink of cola I was chatting to oh opened bottle and starting pouring into oops no glass !

Last Christmas I bought some gold ear rings for my grand daughter. When it came time to wrap my presents I was unable to find them and over several days emptied cupboards, accused my husband of moving them etc. This year, I went to my 'Christmas stuff' to get some cards out and there were the ear rings on full view.

When the day for applying my cats' flea drops comes around I always warm the pipettes (so that they are oblivious to them) by tucking them inside my bra for a while. I sometimes forget they are there, and on one memorable day I went for my breast screening. I removed them in the changing room but was left with an imprint on each breast! I had to explain, and raised a laugh!

When my daughter made me laugh so much I nearly wet myself

DD left her phone here the other day so I rang her to let her know. Said phone then started ringing. Duh!

My mother in law dashing around the kitchen filling the kettle and saucepans with cold water. Apparently the electricity was going to be turned off for a couple of hours. Not sure how she thought she was going to make a cup of tea with no gas supply in the house!

Went supermarket shopping with DH just last night. He had the trolley but unbeknownst to me had wandered off it it while I was examining the choice of red wines. After a careful inspection I chose a couple and put them in the nearest trolley saying ‘that should see us through a few cosy nights in’.
‘That’s the best offer I’ve had in years’ said the owner of the trolley. Only then did I look and see it was a completely different male with his own shopping in his own trolley.

Red with embarrassment I retrieved my wine and scuttled off to find DH and tell him off for deserting me. All he could do was laugh.

I once went into a shop with my 2 daughters to buy a toilet seat. The guy behind the counter looked at me for a moment before pointing out (rather sarcastically) that I was actually standing in an electrical shop. My daughters have never let me live that one down.

I have had quite a few senior moments over the last few years, but the most embarrasing one was at a party.A group of us were chatting merrily, glass in hand, when a new ( to us) couple came to join in, and I introduced myself and then
Said “and this is my DH “ ( who was stood immediately behind me)..........only it wasn’t! My DH had wandered off and a male friend had taken his place, he looked very discombobulated, we all laughed, and I explained the mistake, saying “ no, this isn’t my DH, this is ...... and I couldn't think of his name! we had known him for at least ten years.

Coming downstairs before it was light and talking to my black cat......then realising it was my pair of black boots! dohhh.

Signing my maiden name and I have been married twice since then!

I had just bought a new car and went to the supermarket after work. I got back to the car and pressed the key fob. Nothing happened, I tried again, nothing happened. By this time I was beginning to panic about what I was going to do with the trolley load of shopping. I kept walking around the car, trying all the doors. The trolley boy, (who happened to be one of my ex pupils) came up and tapped me on the shoulder. "That's not your car", he said. " Your car is in the other car park, I saw you parking it there!"

When we were in New York a number of years ago with my oldest son and staying with my cousin who lives in New York. We went to visit Liberty Island, before we left we visited the gift shop where my son was looking for little gifts for his friend. I found some rubbers with Pictures of the statue of liberty on them. I called my son and said they have some rubbers here and my cousin said, no you mean they have erasers, I hadn't realised what I had said, but everybody else did.