Win Mary Berry books to celebrate the imminent return of Bake Off

There once was a cooking fairy
Who's name was Mary Berry.
She called out not yet
In the bake off get set
Make sure your sponges are airy.

this is a special day today
im going to bake a cake to say
happy 18th birthday son
then my scruptious work is done
we will celebrate and eat and play

There was a young baker called Dan
Who threw flour and fruit in a pan
He gave a stir and did all he could
Just to Mary and Paul Hollywood

I borrowed so much in my fifties
That I’m doing three jobs in my sixties
My grandson lives down under
And it all makes me wonder
Where I’d be without Gransnet and whisky baking

A group of old ladies on gransnet
Were baking a cake to perfection
The sponge was so light
The cake a delight,
It only the icing would set!

There once was a lady called Mary
whose cakes....both Fancy and Fairy
all turned out a treat
and could not be beat
she's lovely, and not at all scary.

She has a male colleague called Paul
whose blue eyes entrap one and all
He bakes gorgeous Bread
(It has to be said)
but ladies for him, do all fall

Completing this wonderful crew
two more-Mel and Sue- are there too
and when they shout 'BAKE'
The contestants all quake
'cos they now need to show what THEY do

We're so glad to see that it's back
most other shows having a 'lack'
The banter and fun
in the rain and the sun
gets viewers in summer 'on track'

I’ve tried and I’ve tried till I’m blue
To turn out confections of choux
I whisk and I beat
Expecting a treat
But end up with globules of GOO!

Mrs Hollywood's son, name of Paul
Holds the Great British public in thrall
With his talent for baking
Cake, pie and bread-making
Mr Blue Eyes, for me, has it all!

There once was a lady named Mary
Who baked cakes light and airy
I ate so many
I'm short fat and hairy
But very merry Mary Berry....

There was a young lady from Bath,
who sought to make her life's path
baking puddings and pies,
making buns and cakes rise
and generally having a laugh.

Goodness me, a cake I must make
No problem, I know a good cook
Let me find that recipe book
The orchard is full of berries
And I just know I can rely on Mary Berry
To cream and whisk is my delight
Now to prepare a really light bite!
A new recipe book would be a dream
And help me feel part of her cookery team

My cakes were always a flop
instead of rising they'd drop,
now, Mary inspired,
they're just as desired,
the scrumptious cream of the crop!

The Great British Bake Off it's called.
It keeps us all enthralled.
Paul bakes some bread,
we're all heels over head
and he's lucky he doesn't get mauled!

So back on our teles is Mary
Now all of you bakers be wary
Soggy bottoms are out
You need cake with a clout
Or results could be quite contrary

I baked cakes for my kids for years
Now they’re grown and all out on their ears
Then they had all the pickings
Now I get all the lickings,
So I’ll continue to bake cakes for years

There was a young baker named Paul
Who everyone's cakes he would maul
With a flash of blue eyes
And comments so wise
No one minded if he came to call

There once was a baker called Mary
Who was never quite contrary,
Her bottoms weren't soggy,
Her toppings weren't cloggy,
That magnificent baker called Mary!

a cake, to bake, a pie to eat,
a nice fat pastry, oh what a treat,
a belgian bun, an eccles cake, a jammie doughnut,
what should i make?
a nice choux bun, a cream horn,
a nice fluffy meringue for cream to adorn,
sprinkles, choco chips, thousands and hundreds too,
to decorate pretty is what i do.
a cake to bake a pie to plate
i'd make them all it would be great,
a crusty loaf a nice soft cob
a baker has a lovely job,
kneed it, proove it, cook it too
a bakers job i'd love to do.

There was a master baker called Paul,
The finest of them all,
His dough was to die for,
His baps were to cry for,
And his buns are always too small!

There is a great lady called Mary
Who aims to make baking less scary,
With a hunk judge named Paul
She'd make cooks of us all-
But she really "Bakes Off" the unwary.

A bake with a bottom that’s soggy
Will leave Mary and Paul feeling groggy:
She’ll try to be kind,
But he speaks his mind:
“This pie’s only fit for the doggy.”

There was a young (ish) woman from "oop North"
Who always would watch the Bake Orf.
She said "I rarely eat cake"
I simply love to bake.
and the Gransnetters were supposed to believe her.
But didn't.

How I wish I could bake like young Mary
As what comes out my oven is scary
But perhaps with this book
I could learn how to cook
And I'd sing like a happy canary

There was a young lady called Mary,
Who wanted her cakes to be airy,
So she sieved and she beat
Till the mix was complete,
Now her cakes are as light as a fairy.

There was a lady called Mary Berry
Who was partial to a drop of sherry
No soggy bottoms allowed
She did us all proud
Cooking whilst slightly merry