But, what about the mess?

I find a good way to do bacon is wrap each rasher in a piece of kitchen paper and then zap it in the microwave - you can do everything from oozy-flabby to crunchy - and no mess, just throw away the paper (which has soaked up surplus fat)!

And keep the phone handy because you'll probably end up needing the Fire Brigade when the fat starts dropping into the flames!! I don't think I've ever heard anything so ridiculous. Dry fry some prosciutto in a pan and crumble that; much safer!

get the blow torch from the garage! mind your fingers!!!

It wouldn't work here, I've got an induction hob! ?

Alima, ?

Never mind the mess - what about your fingers???

Was it a male chef kitty? From what I have seen the males don't seem to care about the mess they make as there is some lackey to clean up after them. Probably to give first aid to burnt fingers too!