Waste

Izabella I use tiny bowls to portion food to little GC because they really don't know what they can eat. Maybe smaller portions? I know, to myself, I hate waste and would be upset like you. Maybe talk to your children about green concerns, the growing and weather environment and not wasting?

Growing up in the US, we were always told about the starving children in China, so we should not waste the food on our plate... I remember piping up to my parents that the Chinese children could have my dinner! (It was something awful, like equal to tripe here).

Does anyone now point out that families are starving in North Korea? I wonder what today's children would think about that?

I think food has been cheaper for a long time now in that it has taken up a smaller proportion of most people's budgets than was the case when I was young (50s and 60s), as standards of living and disposable incomes rose. It does seem to be getting dearer recently though.
On the subject of waste, although more councils do compost food, which is of course a good thing, it remains the case that many people seem to believe it is ok to buy too much which in turn encourages overproduction. Whereas looking ahead with climate change and increasing population we should all be trying to consume less - food, but also 'stuff'. IMO.

When my DD was small - and alarmingly fussy about her food - the health visitor gave me a reproving look and said 'There are no food fads in poor homes'. That did pull me up short and I thought about my own childhood when I was given a good meal with fresh vegetables and expected to eat it. If I didn't there as nothing else until the next meal.

Soniah....do you really believe that food isn't expensive enough? I'm already finding it hard to budget and even cuts like braising steak have become a treat rather than a regular. I don't waste money. There is no use rummaging in my fridge or cupboards for crisps or biscuits because there aren't any.

I think we've moved on from "Clear the plate" regardless of whether you are still hungry or not as it teaches children to over ride their natural brain signals that tell them they are full; probably for the best as it is likely to result in obesity/food issues. Provided my GC have eaten a balanced meal, I wouldn't offer more once they'd reached satiation point. I do think us oldies do need to take on board that today's strategies around eating are very different.

Bought a large leg of lamb and although we are all, including 18mnth old GS, good eaters , lots left. My mum used to have a wonderful old mincer that had to be screwed to th kitchen table to make mince. Sadly that's disaapeared but the food processor proved a worthy successor, and we've got shepheards pie tonight?

I try to instil "take a little, you can always come back for more" which is fine with our two locally living DGC but DD1 and family have been to stay for the last three days and has different rules. Her two have big eyes and small stomachs, especially the youngest (aged five). So, at yesterday's BBQ I had one spare rib chop and a bit of salad - then finished off most of her potato salad, two chicken drumsticks with a bit or two out of each and three quarters of a scotch egg. DGS stole her untouched sausage. I declined the garlic bread crusts, which went to the dogs. So having really eaten very little savoury she had plenty of room for two helpings of different chocolate puddings!

The previous day her dad had finished her barely touched lasagne (made by DD1 and known favourite). So probably not much food actually wasted but the adults eat more than they wanted. Is that waste?

I think maybe food is not expensive enough and that is why some people waste it. Our children don't waste much food, they can't afford to and were brought up not to, but they do tend to give the grandchildren large portions so there is often waste. We have a rule that if you don't eat your first course you don't get pudding (usually a small scoop of icecream).Seems to work. Breakfasts and lunches (often a picnic indoors or out) work fine and we also have a food chart to encourage a wider diet. I was a fussy eater as a child so I can't really complain but I do try not to overstock the fridge when we have visitors but have plenty of fruit and veg as that never need go to waste. Sympathy for those who struggle though and although food may be proportionally cheaper than years ago there is plenty else that isn't.

I have found, from about the age of 4, that letting my DGD help herself from the serving dishes resulted in healthy choices and cleared plates. She knows that 'seconds' are available when the plate is empty so doesn't overload her plate.

I wouldn't dream of presenting an adult with a plate of food as I wouldn't know how much they'd like to eat so why would I do that for a child?

I understand what you mean. Is it because each generation reacts against the way that they were brought up and tries to do things differently? I was brought up fairly strictly, there was little choice - you ate what you were given or went without. There wasn't the money to be indulged.
Now our generation indulge children because they can, there's a choice given. We recall the arguments/tantrums of our childhood and don't want to repeat them.
Also these days parents want to be 'friends' with their children and are afraid of being unpopular with them, so less authority.

Just mouse over the pics janeainsworth and the larger pic swaps between the two.

Widgeon - but some people 'in this country' make free with salt before tasting
a dish. Same thing surely, I feel sorry for your Muslim guest!

Izabella if the parents are there I try to ignore it - very hard, but you have to. I used to resent DMil and DM making comments about DCs' eating patterns/habits, offering them alternatives when they hadn't eaten what they had been given, and am determined not to irritate DD and DDil in the same way.

However if we are in charge, I firstly try to gauge the amount of food they are likely to eat, and ask them if that's ok. If they say yes and then leave some, I point this out & indicate there won't be anything else. This usually results in the food being eaten so tyhey can have dessert, though I don't think it's good for sweet things to be seen as a reward.
If it isn't eaten, I then say there won't be anything else till dinner/tea time or whenever. And there isn't.

I think half the problem is the apparent perception by parents of the need for snacks. If the DGCs weren't given them with such frequency they might eat their main meals with a better appetite.

I would have been upset by the ice-cream incident too.

Just had the rather liberating experience of being invited to my daughters house for a meal followed by my grandmothers tradition of jarping hard boiled eggs.
This was a win win situation, as she had to choose what DGDS ate (15 and 11)
Had a delightful veggie meal ( instead of racking my brains ) indulged my nostalgia for past Easter egg jarping competitions, and best of all no washing up!

as in you're lucky and absolutely

Izabella. Would smaller bowls help? Or dry cereal which some of my DGC prefer. I still have a couple of bowls we used for cereal when I was a child and they are tiny compared to today's bowls! I've been known to sieve the leftover milk for my coffee. I stopped buying variety packs 'as a treat' long ago and just keep oats, Cheerios and Weetabix in.
I get annoyed by finding half finished abandoned glasses of milk and juice, they all tend to do that. We don't all have meals around the table often enough imho but DS disagrees.

You'r lucky
With a family gathering of 14 , I discovered 2 religious prohibitions ( Muslim , Buddhist.... the latter being a new'interest' so no pig products or meat there. Then there were the food 'allergies'... pork, veal, tomatoes, mushrooms, nuts and all dairy products then active dislikes where the children's whims have been allowed and mothers have cooked separate dishes..... ie fruit, vegetables,eggs refused.. only brown meat eaten.
I tried ( misguidedly) to incorporate all these fads and fancies but felt absulutely assaulted when the Muslim produced a huge bottle of chili sauce and sprinkled it liberally everywhere. It was explained that she found my food ' too bland' Ructions when I explained that we didn't behave like this in this country as i had spent several hours trying to produce something appetizing for all from a very limited list of ingredients.
They have suggested further such gatherings but I have cried off

DD is very strict with the little ones, it's Granny who doesn't like to make an issue of clearing plates!
That said, I used to think our youngest DD was a good little eater until I caught her posting sausages/chips/fish finger/chicken goujons, basically anything into the ever open Labrador at the foot of the high chair!

The 6 year old who mainly eats toast did a 5k Junior Parkrun yesterday so must be getting enough nutrition somehow!

The waste that often annoys me is when the DGC ask for more, and I could predict that it won't be eaten, but the parents don't say no, and , needless to say, it is wasted! The parents have had enough experience of these situations that you would think they'd have learned. It's even more annoying when we've paid for large, fancy cakes etc in a cafe, and most is left.

Crossed posts Tessa101. Yes exactly as you say!

Clarification needed methinks. We never waste food. We grow all our own, freeze, batch bake, forage, keep hens, use all leftovers in either stir fries, curries or soups. Make our own wine. Old bread is made into breadcrumbs and stored in the freezer for cooking, coating stuff. What we had this weekend was a heap of snotty, nibbled, half eaten leftovers I could not make into anything. Bowls half full of soggy cereal and milk and so on. I found it really hard that something was either not eaten, toyed around with ( and it's all food eaten before so we know it's liked) and then offered something else by parents and that in turn was left and messed about with. I did have to put my foot down when ice cream was expected during a walk and just said we did not have any money with us which resulted in a major strop.

On an extremely tight budget we just found all this hard to deal with. We are not mean, just severely strapped for cash and are very much aware that the other grandparents and family members don't see this as a problem as they all have degrees of disposable income. I realise I have to rise above this. How do other grans cope with these things?

Oh Izabella it's like I wrote this post. My GD thinks it's ok to ask for something then take a few mouthfuls and say I don't want it. My daughter just says " ok do you want something else " and so it goes on. However when she stays with me I tell her straight " I'm not your mother if you ask for it you eat it."She eats it without any complaints, she is a bright 7 year old and loves coming to stay with me, but my own 2 DDS never got away with treating food like this, neither will she when she is with me.It most certainly is to many choices.

I got rather carried away in Asda the other day with their very cheap veg (20p per pack). The excess will be made into soup.