Gather together all your favourite recipes and dishes that are favourites of your families, make them in bulk and freeze them.
Apart from fresh fruit, I have found almost anything will freeze if you want it. Make crumble mix and stewed fruit to assemble a crumble on the day for puddings,
Why not delegate some of the catering to other people? DS and family always take on catering for a one day when they come and stay for more than 2 days. Just allocate them a day and say, OK you do the catering on........
I have family staying for 10 days every Christmas. I make a meal plan a couple of months in advance so that I can get everything cooked in advance. I also draw up the shopping list for the pre arrival shopping trip.
Breakfast is toast and cereal, serve yourself, clear up after yourself (including loading the dishwasher). Main meal from freezer/eat out/others cater, light meal is a salad. Cold meat, pork pies, smoked fish can all be frozen ready to be got out when needed.
I have always refused, point blank, to be a domestic martyr. All it takes is pre-planning, which you are doing and DELEGATION.