Feeding the grandkids. Man cannot live on toast (and cocopops) alone!

Yammy

greenlady102

GraceQuirrel

I think fussy eaters are bred not born. Can you imagine years ago (I’m talking 50’s and 60’s back to when we lived in caves!) a child wanting to eat something different from the parents? Definitely did not happen in my house, I know what my dad would have said!
You give in once and that rod for your back has been made.

yep I can imagine and you are wrong, as I said, one of my older siblings would only eat semolina. Thankfully the GP was sensible and said give her what she will eat and my lovely Dad wasn't your Dad and she grew up strong and healthy.
Enough of this giving in and rod for your back nonsense!

My DH and I would agree with you Grace Quirrel and so did my parents and grandparents.
Food for the family was put on the table and you ate or went hungry or as I said in an earlier post I was allowed to go next door to my Italian aunt whose food I loved.
Friends tell of poor families who fought over the skin on custard and seconds during free school meals. When food was short you ate it or gave it to someone else.
Why should mums cook different meals for each child what if you have 4 or 5? They weren't being cruel they were teaching us life skills.
When I trained as a teacher you were told to control your class by setting rules right away, these could be slackened as the term progressed To do the opposite was very difficult. It's the same with food if they think they can make a fuss and eventually get something else they will. Just like the semolina everyday.

then my beloved sibling would have died if they had been your child or your parent's child. How would that have made them feel?

I always used to make fruit plates for mine when they were little- fruit chopped up into bite size pieces and arranged attractively. As fruit isn’t an issue could you use this to - slowly- introduce raw veg, starting with sweet things little super sweet toms and baby carrots alongside the fruit? Even turn it into a game - blindfolded tasting, what colour is it, is it a fruit or a vegetable etc

Kids are born with their own personalities a including food preferences.

Stop blaming the parents when something is not up to your satisfaction and expectations

Yammy

greenlady102

GraceQuirrel

I think fussy eaters are bred not born. Can you imagine years ago (I’m talking 50’s and 60’s back to when we lived in caves!) a child wanting to eat something different from the parents? Definitely did not happen in my house, I know what my dad would have said!
You give in once and that rod for your back has been made.

yep I can imagine and you are wrong, as I said, one of my older siblings would only eat semolina. Thankfully the GP was sensible and said give her what she will eat and my lovely Dad wasn't your Dad and she grew up strong and healthy.
Enough of this giving in and rod for your back nonsense!

My DH and I would agree with you Grace Quirrel and so did my parents and grandparents.
Food for the family was put on the table and you ate or went hungry or as I said in an earlier post I was allowed to go next door to my Italian aunt whose food I loved.
Friends tell of poor families who fought over the skin on custard and seconds during free school meals. When food was short you ate it or gave it to someone else.
Why should mums cook different meals for each child what if you have 4 or 5? They weren't being cruel they were teaching us life skills.
When I trained as a teacher you were told to control your class by setting rules right away, these could be slackened as the term progressed To do the opposite was very difficult. It's the same with food if they think they can make a fuss and eventually get something else they will. Just like the semolina everyday.

So in your family a child like my DD would have been so undernourished she would have had organ failure and died. She wasn't looking for a different meal, she wasn't being naughty, she was wasn't spoiled, she could barely tolerate food. How clever is it to claim you know the perfect answer.

What you have just told us is that no one in your family has had a serious eating disorder.

greenlady102

GraceQuirrel

I think fussy eaters are bred not born. Can you imagine years ago (I’m talking 50’s and 60’s back to when we lived in caves!) a child wanting to eat something different from the parents? Definitely did not happen in my house, I know what my dad would have said!
You give in once and that rod for your back has been made.

yep I can imagine and you are wrong, as I said, one of my older siblings would only eat semolina. Thankfully the GP was sensible and said give her what she will eat and my lovely Dad wasn't your Dad and she grew up strong and healthy.
Enough of this giving in and rod for your back nonsense!

My DH and I would agree with you Grace Quirrel and so did my parents and grandparents.
Food for the family was put on the table and you ate or went hungry or as I said in an earlier post I was allowed to go next door to my Italian aunt whose food I loved.
Friends tell of poor families who fought over the skin on custard and seconds during free school meals. When food was short you ate it or gave it to someone else.
Why should mums cook different meals for each child what if you have 4 or 5? They weren't being cruel they were teaching us life skills.
When I trained as a teacher you were told to control your class by setting rules right away, these could be slackened as the term progressed To do the opposite was very difficult. It's the same with food if they think they can make a fuss and eventually get something else they will. Just like the semolina everyday.

Maybe a doggy bag for an hour later to eat up the remaining food he couldn’t or would finish at meat time?

Been there done that and my 4 grandchildren are fine. 19, 17,14, and 11. Its for their mums to deal with and not your job. They grow up and more often than not survive quite well. Don't make a fuss treat it as if your not worried about food and chances are they won't be worried either about food.

When my grandchildren visit they know they will have meals they will eat Far less stressful for all involved

My wonderful 9 yr old grandson is tiny in stature and has a tiny appetite. And, talk about fussy, his food has to be HIS brand, so no good buying a supermarket spaghetti, he will only eat a specific named spaghetti. His limited foods are fortunately fairly healthy choices. In contrast, his sister will eat anything, and when she's finished her food, she will very happily finish any food not eaten from other plates (she's small but very active). Both cook and love nothing more than to visit and be allowed to cook for us. Much easier for us!

Don’t let it wear you down - they will be grown before you know it and this phase will have passed. They aren’t likely to starve - I would like to promote healthier and more varied eating but it’s like wasting your time - better to enjoy them while you can - their eating habits will change in time. I can remember a time when my stepson existed in chocolate cereal, hamburger or chicken nuggets - he is now a strapping, good looking and fit 36 year old !

I don’t think you should worry too much. Enjoy your time with them. One of my grandsons lived on pasta with cheese and green beans for a while at that age. He’s now a big strapping teenager with a big appetite and will eat anything except cheese ?

Our family trick was sit the child next to there favourite person , only put food on there plate they liked, and there favourite had full meal its amazing how good it tastes from there plate and its grown up food ,the rest of the table pays no attention. Not a big deal then found it to work no matter there age .

I’m told I was very picky as a child, ate very little. At 75 I still don’t have an enormous appetite . I have led a busy and active life, am still enjoying a very healthy life. Don’t worry!!!!

I have no recent experience of this, so just throwing this in as a idea. Would he like cereal - porridge or any thing like that? Then he'd be getting milk (use whole milk) and grains with maybe more fruit and nuts. But agree with the others saying don't make a miserable thing of it. You are minding them and hoping they enjoy their time - the rest is optional.

Yammy

greenlady102

Yammy

I have the same problem with one set of GC. One lives on peanut butter and choc chip ice cream and will starve all day until someone gives in. not me I might add. The sibling was like this but now tries what they think is," grown-up food," steak, duck, broccoli, etc.
The one from the other family who attended nursery from a very young age just says I'll try and if I don't like please may I leave it.,I feel this is alright and they have quite a varied diet.

I think we see this from the "stressed adult" side of things but what about the "stressed child"?
You say "until someone gives in, not me I might add" as though this is a good thing.....IMO there shouldn't be "giving in" because it shouldn't be any kind of clash.

I don't give in because I never have to. I keep clear of all family issues be it food, bedtime or computers. My family know this and know it is their children and their problems and we do not interfere. I should have explained.
My grandmothers never interfered when I was a child my mother had sole control and I was allowed to often eat with an Italian relation who lived next door. If I had to stay at their house my grans asked what time was bedtime and I realised I went to bed then .
Mixed messages from different grans and parents can only cause confusion and make the child even more upset or manipulative which refusing food can be. My grandchild is fed when their parents feel they should be. They lay down the rules and I comply with them even when there were sleepovers and I would probably have disagreed with their decision.

what a lovely Gran you must be

GraceQuirrel

I think fussy eaters are bred not born. Can you imagine years ago (I’m talking 50’s and 60’s back to when we lived in caves!) a child wanting to eat something different from the parents? Definitely did not happen in my house, I know what my dad would have said!
You give in once and that rod for your back has been made.

Didn't happen in your house but it happened. Doctors will tell you it happens, children used to die. The earliest known cases of anorexia nervosa were recorded in 1689 as Nervous Consumption to explain the wasting away of two children who weren't eating.

There are various reasons why children don't eat, it can be after an illness where the child has lost their appetite and don't seem to regain it, children with ASD who have issues with textures and children not eating from cultural input e.g. the desire to be thin or the desire for holiness or purification. One explanation for Elizabeth Barrett Brownings illness was Anorexia Nervosa. She became ill at 13.

I have 4 children and 3 were what people would describe as good eaters. Not fussy and would eat plenty, the fourth had serious problems. Hers started when she was ill with a serious chest infection at 13 months, she just lost the urge to eat. I have photos of her at 1 year old tucking into various foods with her brothers, by 14 months she was underweight and still losing. Her diet got more and more restricted until she had marmite sandwiches and one sort of yogurt that she would eat plus the cake our local baker made her every week. She would only eat small amounts and by 4 she was so underweight she was told quite bluntly by our GP that she would be going into hospital if she lost any more weight as she was in danger of her organs being damaged. With very careful management over the next ten years she gradually started to eat more, eat a wider variety and get to a normal weight.

So yes just imagine children have had eating disorders for hundreds of years, even when food was scarce.

GraceQuirrel

I think fussy eaters are bred not born. Can you imagine years ago (I’m talking 50’s and 60’s back to when we lived in caves!) a child wanting to eat something different from the parents? Definitely did not happen in my house, I know what my dad would have said!
You give in once and that rod for your back has been made.

yep I can imagine and you are wrong, as I said, one of my older siblings would only eat semolina. Thankfully the GP was sensible and said give her what she will eat and my lovely Dad wasn't your Dad and she grew up strong and healthy.
Enough of this giving in and rod for your back nonsense!

Make some bread with him, put things in like healthy foods, linseed raisins cranberries, bananas. As long as he is eating other healthy foods I wouldn’t worry. Just do a snack tray, toast, fruit, raw carrot, yoghurt and add things, I do this for my granddaughter as she always wants pizza, so I do pizza on the snack tray. Toast and fish fungers… it could be a lot worse.

My GC have all had their food fads - and still do, but I give them something that I hope thy will like, that they have eaten previously, and if it is picked over or refused, I take the plate away without comment. I had enough wrangling with my own DD whose eating habits almost drove me to an early grave when she was small. Any complaints about hunger are always met with the comforting remark that lunch/dinner will be soon - they also know that Granny doesn't buy sweets. What a tartar!

greenlady102

Yammy

I have the same problem with one set of GC. One lives on peanut butter and choc chip ice cream and will starve all day until someone gives in. not me I might add. The sibling was like this but now tries what they think is," grown-up food," steak, duck, broccoli, etc.
The one from the other family who attended nursery from a very young age just says I'll try and if I don't like please may I leave it.,I feel this is alright and they have quite a varied diet.

I think we see this from the "stressed adult" side of things but what about the "stressed child"?
You say "until someone gives in, not me I might add" as though this is a good thing.....IMO there shouldn't be "giving in" because it shouldn't be any kind of clash.

I don't give in because I never have to. I keep clear of all family issues be it food, bedtime or computers. My family know this and know it is their children and their problems and we do not interfere. I should have explained.
My grandmothers never interfered when I was a child my mother had sole control and I was allowed to often eat with an Italian relation who lived next door. If I had to stay at their house my grans asked what time was bedtime and I realised I went to bed then .
Mixed messages from different grans and parents can only cause confusion and make the child even more upset or manipulative which refusing food can be. My grandchild is fed when their parents feel they should be. They lay down the rules and I comply with them even when there were sleepovers and I would probably have disagreed with their decision.

We have a 3 year old great grandson who is picky as, but luckily he loves his PaPas macaroni soup . My husband makes it with chicken and heaps of vegies, blends them together and adds pasta. I always have serves in the freezer for when he comes. I also try to find low fat snacks, sugar free juice, things like that so he thinks hes getting a treat but its not too bad for him. I actually find that vegan snacks are quit good as alot of them are low fat and are baked not fried.

I think fussy eaters are bred not born. Can you imagine years ago (I’m talking 50’s and 60’s back to when we lived in caves!) a child wanting to eat something different from the parents? Definitely did not happen in my house, I know what my dad would have said!
You give in once and that rod for your back has been made.

I would stop.worrying about it. They are only with you a short while and will.carry on.as usual when they get home. I would give them what they want and make no comment about what they eat. If you tell them.they can't have/do something they just want it more.

I have a treat box. They are allowed one treat a day which they pick ftom the box. In between meals they have fruit or salad veg. GS loves the mini cucumbers or a stick of celery. He is a picky eater and will not eat a 'normal' dinner. He will eat Ham and Cheese so we usually give him a portion of these on a plate with cucumber and some fruit. He loves helping me make pancakes so as a special we have those too. We ensure he has a daily vitamin too. GD will only eat crisps and McD Nuggets and Fries. Funnily at Granny's she will try a little something different but I have yet to convert her.

My four children all were fussy eaters so i understand your pain! As a gran you really don't have to worry, just give them what they like. Do they like pizza? My gs loves making a pizza with me. We buy a ready made base a jar of topping and he can then add what he likes.