Do you feel conspicuous eating out on your own?

Many years ago on a business trip to London, when I came down for breakfast on the first morning, a table had been set for me, single setting, right in the centre of the dining room. All the other guests were men, sitting around the sides of the room. I sat down turned to all sides and said loudly 'Good Morning' to all. they all ignored me and went back to their breakfasts not catching my eye at all..
The waiters did not catch my eye either, and the next morning I also had a side table.
That was in London, I have never had any problems here on the Continent.

I was just thinking Bluebelle that what I said was rather more serious than most but then many people lurk on GN and read rather than post and some of those people will be more affected than others.
Airing a deeper response may help someone and social anxiety and social phobia are both recognised by the NHS and CBT is readily available. The UK always seem such an emotionally closed society but it you have any dealings with mental health charities, you will know that there are many anxious and troubled people out there.

Eating or just having a coffee on my own is not the problem.
Finding a lone place is and usually means having to ask 'is this seat taken ? or, do you mind if I share your table.?

It’s never bothered me being alone if I’ve stopped for a coffee or for lunch during the day as there are usually other singles about, but in the last 8 months I’ve started going to our local pub for dinner once a fortnight, it still feels strange, but I enjoy it! I always take my kindle to read.
DH has worked abroad for years and his trips home have been limited due to covid, the loneliness of lockdown & working from home made being with any human company very attractive! That was the push I needed to try it!

It’s brilliant for people watching though I do prefer to have company. I find that if you chat to a person at an adjoining table they are often extremely interesting people.

No, I have always been comfortable in my own company and eating out alone has never bothered me. Infact I prefer it to being saddled with some dumb bloke!

I often go for coffee alone and sometimes a meal, usually lunch as I prefer not to be out alone in the evening. In answer to your question I don’t feel self conscious at all, I usually have my phone or something to read in my handbag but will sometimes chat too

Obviously and luckily not a lack of self confidence for you Monica no it’s far from arrogant I don’t think people are looking at me to admire me!!! quite the reverse If you are not a self conscious or self doubting person you are very lucky we aren’t all born with your confidence unfortunately
I m certainly not introverted or have a mental health problem either so don’t fit your criteria jillyjosie at all, no one who knows would call me shy or introverted quite the opposite I can be a leader It’s weird isn’t it

I remember when I was about 12 I was taken to a theatre show and half way through we were told to stand up and look under our seat for a winning number Much to my horror mine was the number I could no more walk up to the stage to get my prize than fly naked through the air on a broomstick I just could not collect my prize I d would rather go without because it was just beyond me to walk out in front of all those eyes
Now of course I m a lot better and do lots of things on my own but some things are still hard but if you met me you wouldn’t understand because I m full of life and chat and good company but I am still very very self conscious inside

Never bothered me, done it throughout my life. Always have a book to hand.

I’ve done a fair bit of eating out alone in my time and I’ve never felt it to be a problem. I do feel sorry for people who feel unable to as it must be so restrictive for them. However I do prefer to do it at lunchtime rather than in the evening.

It depends where. These days you can dial up restaurant quality food and get it home delivered and on balance that is more appealing. Nice Thai food, Peking duck, Vietnamese food ( which I love ) are all at hand so why bother going out ?

I think one simple answer to your question Monica is that it's a mental state called social phobia. It is recognised by the NHS and is treatable. I think it goes with being introverted and may even have a genetic component but don't quote me on that. If you have never suffered from it then, no, you probably won't get it.
I have suffered on occasion, now I'm getting older, I'm not much bothered by social anxiety (another term!) and eating on my own in public has become a pleasure! Maturing, like fine wine.

The question that always puzzles me, is why anyone should think anyone else is bothering to look at them and think them odd or anything else.

I do not think it ever occured to me that anyone would be interested in me or looking at me when I went anywhere alone. Isn't there an element of arrogance in the belief that anyone would take any particular notice of you when you go into a restaurant, or anywhere else on your own?

I think it may depend on which restaurant I were to go to. If I went to a large hotel's restaurant I'd be okay alone, as I may be resident there.

I went to a respectable suburban pub for lunch when I was house hunting twenty years ago, The food was excellent but a rather unpleasant male fellow customer man seemed to take my solitariness as an invitation to talk to me, and make fun of my local map reading.

I’m happy to dine alone on occasion. Good food not cooked by me gives me the impetus to do so if I find myself solo and hungry!

To pass the time obviously ?

Thinking back, I began having a coffee or a meal on my own since I was 16, something I still do whether at home or abroad.

On various occasions I have had some lovely conversations with strangers if I am in the mood to chat but equally happy to enjoy my own company, oblivious to what others may think, I am really not interested nor have I ever felt uncomfortable doing this. I always had a book in my bag if I felt like reading to lass the time.

This is something I have actually missed being able to do due to covid restrictions.

I am in absolute agreement with Shinamae.

I have happily eaten out by myself since I used to travel up to London to the Dental hosiptal when I was 14-15. After my appointment I would go down to the Lyons Corner House for lunch. I cannot say that it has ever caused me a moments embarrasment or self consciousness.

I used to travel on my own when I was working, including travelling abroad, and often have days out on my own, once again visiting London - and other places, to go to Exhibitions, visit libraries and do other things that do not interest DH.

I've got used to it, having done it loads of times over the years.
Modern phones are an especially good distraction, I find.
Or take a book.

I do feel like Johnny no mates in a restaurant alone and the last time I sat alone, reading, to make me look like I was enjoying it, a chap asked to join me which was really nice until the end when he started to get pushy.
No I don’t really like eating alone and as I find eating a reason for going out and socialising it’s would defeat the purpose

Doesn’t bother me at all, in fact I’m quite at ease with my own company. I go on holiday on my own go to cafés on my own, obviously I do go with friends as well but being on my own does not stop me doing anything

Yes, folk in other parts of the world don’t leave you sitting alone for long. A group will call you over or the owner comes and chats. I once even had grandad brought down from upstairs to keep me company?

In Cape Town a group of lovely ladies didn’t even want me to eat my sandwich in the park on my own.

Have to admit to resorting to my phone in Britain though?

Nowadays your mobile phone or tablet is your friend. You can use it instead of a book and look "busy".

Ive travelled alone (and eaten out) all over Europe and the middle east. When you walk down the street in a country like Egypt or Syria its easy to assume only men eat our in public as there are no women in sight on the pavement tables. You go to the "family" section at the back where you will see families and groups of women eating. Even then I saw few local women eating alone. But I was often beckoned over by groups of ladies and we had a sort of chat - usually in a mixture of English, French and Arabic. I think they were intrigued by a woman travelling on her own who was not with a bunch of tourists.

Not a problem for me. I much prefer a companion but people watching can be interesting and fun too.

No. I did when I was younger but then, when I was younger most things made me feel self conscious. I don't now. I usually take my phone to read.