Grand Christmas Ball....all welcome

Zip's just busted open on my slinky fishtail frock! Oh, no! Now I'm really glad of these enormous privet hedges to shelter me and hide my embarrassment from those nosey drones.

Yule (!) catch yer death in that frock ! Lemme no if you find Lord Lucan in there . Mind you with those specs you wouldn’t recognise him anyways . Take care I just saw Lemon’s OH staggering in your direction and the Paparazzi are using drones .

Utterly lost now. Help, someone, please! I only came out for some fresh air and I must have wandered into the maze in my bleary, short-sighted fog.

Twerking. Please keep away from the dodgy lights on the Christmas tree. The live cable was only noticed after Lord L had been twerking for 3 days.

Burp! Yawn! Staggers from underneath the table. Where am I? What's going on? Who are all these bleary-eyed folk wandering aimlessly around with empty glasses? It's a mystery. My outfit (torn designer jeans, bardot top and white patent stilettos are ruined). Who is in charge? I need to lodge a complaint to the management. And there was I thinking that this was an upmarket do for those of us who are refained. Burp!

Sod it!Why not? ? one in each hand

Really could do with a nice turkey dinner now with all the trimmings..........or shall I have another ?

Quite so, Chewy. My stamina's just fine, thanks but I had to disappear for a while in order to put on my disguise so Mr Scribbles won't recognise me if he turns up to drag me home in disgrace (by the hair, natch. He likes to indulge his caveman tendencies. It's quite sexy ).
Anyway, here I am, welded into this boned, fishtail gown that's two sizes too small, platinum blonde Afro wig in place and minus my diamanté specs do I can't see anything or anyone clearly. Hey, handsome, let's party! Oh, sorry. You're a coat stand ...

Perhaps the less hardy are still unconscious under the table lemon. They don't have our stamina! mind you, you've had lots of practice

Only a handful of us hardy souls staying the distance now.....I always say there is nothing like a grand Christmas ball for sorting the wheat from the chaff.

Now is the Winter of their discontent!

Must be jealousy...humph!
My svelte figure and beauty do cause those kind of emotions I find.

Let’s be clear (I sound like a politician), Lemon herself takes up most of the space under her ball gown.

Kleeneze products can be found, along with 250 loo rolls, a mop and a vacuum cleaner, hidden under lemon's frock.

Just doing a little spring cleaning while I’m here. Loads of cobwebs ?????

I'm not surprised you can hide under lemon's ball gown Doodle; it's like the crinoline lady's loo roll cover in my bathroom!

Hiding under lemon’s ball gown in the hope the paparazzi won’t see him.

Grumble grumble, I feel like Cinderella, where's my prince?

For goodness' sake, you lot are just like the Royal Family, five changes of glamorous clothes in one day!! (Do pick them up off the floor, us maids have enough to do clearing up after you all).

Eeeh bah gum you’re a good lass to let him sing to you when he’s had a few. In fact quite a few considering all the Christmas ball posters who’ve had him

Do change if you need to, I have already, and am now in a red backless number ( Lord L likes to sing Lady In Red to me when he’s had a few.)?

But of course.. this party could run and run, we are stocked up for a siege, the pantry is overflowing with food and drink..
We could be here until Easter!?

A word in your ear lemon you were quite right. I have had a bit to much ? I can’t even spell drink now

By the way. Is the Christmas’s ball going to continue to New Year?

Coz if so I need to pop home and change into a more glitzy strapless backless dress. I hear George might come and bring some friends, I wonder who? ?

X rated movies to watch, snuggled up with the wood burner.

Yodelling passers by (Swiss tourists lost in the undergrowth)
I might as well do the Y as chewy will leave it for me anyway

? ? ? too much to dring ?

Wood for the burner, if anyone has the energy.....getting chilly in here.