The Alphabet Bar ( all welcome!)

Keep my seat please ive just remembered I left the oven on

Lobster will be very overdone I fear

Joking again lemon? You always offer drinks on the house when the bar is empty!

I can now offer drinks on the house all round...??????????????it’s been a long day.

Hooray! I can report that we passed the ‘elf n safety inspection today with flying colours, thankfully he didn’t spot the ferret (crunching peanuts under a table) or Marydoll’s ginger wig draped over the coffee machine.

Get that fireman out of here he is eating all the whelks and causing havoc with his hose.??

FGS! Who has stolen my black wig? I only left it on the bar for a moment, what are things coming to?!

Eh? A rat in fish net stockings? Sounds like Febrese or Fabian are back in town.

doodle tbh I was afraid to look too closely, but I thought I caught a glimpse of fishnet stockings.

Even though it was dark it was very noisy.

Are you sure it was a black rat Oops or one of lemons wigs with or without lemon trying it on with the fireman ?

A rat! It ran up a hosepipe

Black with a very long tail

Cute though!

Zzzz Zzzzz Sorry I dozed off......dreaming of fireman?????

Yes..... that would have been the rat Oops. We've been trying to catch that for a month or 6 now. Which way was it running?

Xactly what I thought, I tripped over something when I came in, but it ran off.

Well thought out Oops; a very wise decision under the circumstances. soop has form for bringing firemen well, any men really into the bar and then let's them leave their appendages lying about all over the place. So watch your step!

Unless anyone minds I’ll just sit in the corner with a

Vodka.

Tut tut soop, I'm shocked! Shocked I tell you!

STOP ? chewy you can’t chop his hosepipe off. Goodness me soop will be devastated. Just coil it nicely in the corner that should do. soop stop pulling on it. It’s not decent ?

Right! Get an axe and chop that hose pipe up. It seems to be growing by the minute!

Please soop Ken and his hose pipe

Queues forming by the door for all those wanting to have a go with Ken’s hosepipe ??‍?

Could you ask Ken the Fireman to put his hose pipe away soop? It's blocking the door and no one else can get in. Cheers!

Oh! lemongrove, please Google him. He was well known "in his day". Ken the tasty fireman is propping up the bar. I had my doubts when he swore he was teatotal. Looks well pickled to me.

Not again! Soop admit it, these bands are from your fertile imagination ?
No hosing in here thank you very much.....get a room.

Max Merrit and The Meteors on the juke box...'Mr Loneliness'...

Lovely, good girl soop

Ken, the rather tasty fireman, has offered to help sanitise the bar. He has his hose ready and waiting.