The Alphabet Bar ( all welcome!)

Not having Korky soop he’s mine ?

Making my way down that maypole thingy has done me a real mischief. No respect...some folk it's funny to see an elderly lady hanging by her knicker elastic and calling for help. Trust Doodle to unravel herself and fall into the arms of Korky. I want a word with lemon...now!

Light as a feather that’s me lemon. Oooh Korky what big muscles ? you’ve got. You can carry me to the sofa and wait on my every need ?

Korky ( new Russian barman) will lift you down Doodle....
Luckily he used to be the strongman in the Moscow State Circus ( he can lift an elephant!) Is Soop doing the gay gordons round the maypole again?

Just get me down lemon before soop starts up again ?

I don’t know!! Leave you lot alone for five minutes and you cover the bar in cockles and mussels alive alive oh, and now I find an erection out the back ( a maypole!why, what were you thinking?)
Is this for Soop to practise her pole dancing on?

Help! Help! soop’s gone the wrong way and now I’m all tied up. I’ve got one leg behind my ear and I can’t move. soop unwind, unwind ?

Garlands to decorate the maypole have just arrived lemon.
Doodle and soop are still rehearsing with the pole, I'm selling tickets

For goodness sake be careful soop those poles can be slippery. You, with your vast experience of firemen should know that ?

Eck! I've already been up the pole. Not a pretty sight! As my teacher used to say...Could do better.

Dear me carillion this is not that sort of establishment. The caper and cockles are one thing but lemon will never allow you to have tartlets on the bar. It’ll be pole dancers next ?

Caper and cockle tartlets on the bar tonight? Brilliant idea lemon, you know the whiff of salt and vinegar is irresistible to soop and Doodle....and here they are ??

Bonanza! We'll take lemon's mind off such things. I've found a bottle of something potent in the cellar. Raise a glass...

Alright soop I will use my fly shatter and give him a good bash.?. There he goes and into the barrel. Let’s hope lemon doesn’t open it by mistake ?

Zap him, Doodle and don't be too bothered if it ruffles his so-called hair.

Xactly what I think soop and I just happen to have an empty beer barrel right here ?

Well now, Wheniwasyourage, may I suggest we stuff him in an empty beer barrel and leave him to mature.

Very sorry to interrupt, but there's an orange man at the door trying to sell disinfectant injections to the punters esteemed customers. Should we let him in? He looks crazy enough to fit in very well.

Unbelievable!! What was that lemon ?????

That Carillion wouldn't leave the cellar. She's having more fun than she can handle right now.

Staggers up from the cellar clinging to Doodle's arm...both hot and bothered. What went on? Blowed if we know. It certainly put a silly grin on our faces...

Right you are lemon thank you for saving me. I can hear the noise too. There’s a bit of hissing now.......and the ground seems to be shaking a bit.... are you sure your beer’s safe ?

Peek a boo bra Doodle ??You were so busy adjusting yourself you forgot what letter we are up to.?

Queer rumbling noises from the room out the back.....wonder if my yeast and ginger beer experiment is about to explode?
Or is it just Soop or Carillion carousing with some jack tars?

Just adjusting my cleavage to its best advantage before heading off to capture a sailor. You can have the Admiral lemon I’ve younger fish to fry. Out of my way soop the next ones mine ?

Oh heck! how did the Admiral find our new posh bar?