EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

There doesn’t seem much hope for a slim healthy me
Tonight I’m having pie and chips for my tea

Then for pudding I’ll eat a very large cream cake

I don't want any vinegar, but I do like a gherkin
I even like eating when on Gransnet I'm lurkin

There doesn't seem much hope for a slim healthy me

There's nothing like cod in a thick crispy batter
Eaten with friends and having a good natter

I don't want any vinegar, but I do like a gherkin

Luckily I love fish especially trout
With salad, not chips, it won’t make you stout.

There’s nothing like cod in a thick crispy batter

It's no good me trying to get a new man
Cos I've a face like a fish frying pan

Luckily I love fish especially trout

I seem to be getting through loads of books
It's just as well, 'cos I'm losing my looks,

It's no good me trying to get a new man

It’s not for nothing I’m called a couch potato
But it’s my favourite place for reading Plato.

I seem to be getting through loads of books

My bikini’s abandoned, no holidays for me
I’ll stay at home and loll on the settee

It’s not for nothing I’m called a couch potato

I like all the trimmings and a pudding as well
And the same again, please, oh what the hell?

My bikini’s abandoned, no holiday for me

It’s easier said than done to diet
Having no biscuits will cause a riot

Could I survive with no pud tonight?

It's easier said than done to diet
because when I have steak I like to fry it

I like all the trimmings and a pudding as well

Tomorrow I’ll behave and just have toast
Plus a buffet lunch and an evening roast.

It’s easier said than done to diet

A delicious breakfast for me today
A fry up, after my roll in the hay.

Tomorrow I'll behave and just have toast

But healthy living isnt always much fun
A bacon butty with a fried egg stacked on
A delicious breakfast for me today

I must learn to stick with plain orange squash
cut out the alcohol and save my dosh

But healthy living isn't always much fun

But the spinning rides just make me dizzy
Coupled with soft drinks overly fizzy

I must learn to stick with plain orange squash

To ride the roundabouts and bumper cars
And shoot to win that ugly vase

But the spinning rides just make me dizzy

A good gallop with the wind in my hair
And when we return I'm off to the fair

To ride the roundabouts and bumper cars

The horse may have to wait for us outside
I may be tempted to try a bareback ride

A good gallop with the wind in my hair

My knight on white charger is coming for me
Him and his horse and me are off to the Ritz for tea.

The horse may have to wait for us outside

I’m not immune to a man’s many charms...
One wink and I’m ready to swoon in his arms

My knight on white charger is coming for me

I hope he’s amusing with plenty of chatter
He’s very welcome to flirt and to flatter

I’m not immune to a man’s many charms...

A good worker is worth his fee
And I don't mind him stopping for a cup of tea

I hope he's amusing with plenty of chatter

A brush and a dustpan would do the job
More elbow grease required on the oven and hob

But Puzzler of course might be unhappy with this

A brush and a dustpan would do the job
When he's done I'll slip him a few bob

A good worker is worth his fee