EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

Trouble is, my memory's not good
It was so much easier in my childhood

Perhaps I should find a pen pal

I'm learning a new language you see
So I can converse in two or three

Trouble is, my memory's not good

I’d only gone and broken my glasses
So I had to miss my regular classes.

I'm learning a new language you see

They laughed and giggled, made a fool of me
When I got up I couldn’t see

I’d only gone and broken my glasses

I backed off fast and ran at a faster pace
Sadly, I tripped and fell on my face.

They laughed and giggled, made a fool of me,

Shall I have a word with them, I wondered
I tried, but 'you get lost' they thundered

I backed off fast and ran at a faster pace

I hope they don’t get hooked on drugs
That's a game meant only for mugs.

Shall I have a word with them, I wondered

Nobody noticed me jogging along
Except for two guys sharing a bong

I hope they don’t get hooked on drugs

I took it home in my pencil case
Then join a crowd in a marathon race

Nobody noticed me jogging along

I took it home in my pencil case

What sort of crime have I committed?
The pencil I stole from Miss Dewitted?

I had to get out, I was going stir crazy
But my memories of it all are now quite hazy.

What sort of crime have I committed?

Not a nice prospect for one so weak
All because the new rules I tried to tweak

I had to get out, I was going stir crazy

What will I do if I’m convicted
A jail term I'll face and be evicted.

Not a nice prospect for one so weak

Oh no.....here they come with handcuffs and chains
This will only add to my stresses and strains

What will I do if I’m convicted

Don't want them to know I escaped house arrest
For something I did , when I was at my 'best'.

Oh no.....here they come with handcuffs and chains

I'll climb in a cupboard and shut the door
I'll keep very quiet and hide on the floor

Don't want them to know I escaped house arrest

So we'll have to settle for a space inside
When the police arrive we'll be able to hide

I'll climb in a cupboard and shut the door

So we'll have to settle for a space inside

We'll find a nice table, perhaps in the shade
Knowing our luck, there'll be a raid

And if the weather's good, we'll go for a stroll
To find a nice tearoom - we’ll make that our goal.

We'll find a nice table, perhaps in the shade

Roast beef, horseradish and a huge Yorkshire pudding
Served efficiently by the comely Miss Rudding

And if the weather's good, we'll go for a stroll

I’ll look forward to late summer and walks at the coast
Ending up at the pub for a traditional Sunday roast

Roast beef, horseradish and a huge Yorkshire pudding

Right now I want to see more sun
Something to cheer us and make us think of fun

I'll look forward to late summer and walks at the coast

Right now I want to see more sun
It will kill the Corona and we'll have fun