EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

South, like my bottom and boobs
Can no longer squeeze them into those tops called tubes

I cover up for exercise now so I don't frighten the horses

I’ll show them my squats and my lifts
While I can, before it all drifts

South, like my bottom and boobs

Both will help to budge that belly
If it does, I can go on telly.

I'll show them my squats and my lifts

And while I’m there I’ll tidy up
Maybe i'll try to do some sit ups

Both will help to budge that belly

Another job on my list of chores
But at least it gets me out of doors

And while I’m there I’ll tidy up

I can always be relied on to over indulge
That's why my belly has a bulge

I must remember to be more refined

So eat, drink and be merry while you can
Those activities, I’m a very big fan

I can always be relied on to over indulge

My kids will disown me, my grandchildren'll ignore me
But anything's better than things which will bore me.

So eat, drink and be merry while you can

It would make a real change from being prim and proper
I'll go for it , even tho' I'll sure come a cropper.

My kids will disown me, my grandchildren'll ignore me

Shall I show off the safety pin stuck in my belly button?
Dress like lamb when I'm really mutton.

It would make a real change from being prim and proper

Doc Martins for comfort with big rounded toes
I can make them look pretty with big red bows

Shall I show off the safety pin stuck in my belly button?

In black punk clothing and a stud in my nose -
Tatoos aplenty from skulls to a rose

Doc Martins for comfort with big rounded toes

My friends won't recognise me
when I wield my pen with glee

In black punk clothing and a stud in my nose

I'd like to go out of character and do something really daring
Dress as a punk and occasionally swearing

My friends won't recognise me

It's years since I've been on a proper pub crawl
Maybe I'll go really mad and graffiti on a wall

I'd like to go out of character and do something really daring

No work tomorrow so let your hair down
Glad rags on, we’re hitting the town!

It’s years since I’ve been on a proper pub crawl

You can do it, you know you can
Just get dressed-up and squirt the spray tan

No work tomorrow so let your hair down

Lets have a really positive vibe
And ignore all the negative online jibes.

There's always someone ready to grumble
Come on girls get ready to rumble

You can do it , you know you can

Lets have a really positive vibe
And ignore all the negative online jibes.

There's always someone ready to grumble

Who knows I might meet my hero
Mustn't think my chance is zero

Lets have a really positive vibe

I will start with counting my steps each day
And reading 50 shades of grey

Who knows I might meet my hero

I think I will add to this a workout at the gym
But then I must keep at it and not let it drift on a whim

I will start with counting my steps each day

A little of what you fancy is good for the heart
Will keep us spry and active and not having to sadly part

I think I will add to this a workout at the gym

Exercise daily and watch what we eat
More fruit and veg, less of the meat

A little of what you fancy is good for the heart

Laughter and fun helps to keep us young
That is the mantra to which I have clung.

Exercise daily and watch what we eat