EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

Tell Nadal they help you play better
In fact they make you into a real go getter

You'll serve and you'll swerve and win games by the score

You'll serve and you'll swerve and win games by the score
Well, I''ve served and I've swerved and not won games before!

But then, I never was any good at sports

But then, I never was any good at sports
Just the thought puts me out of sorts

Although I can whistle and cheer the others on

Although I can whistle and cheer the others on
I’m best just remaining on my sit-upon

Than trying to be part of the sporting supreme

Than trying to be part of the sporting supreme
I'll just watch with champagne and strawberries and cream

Prowess I have none but I have greed a plenty

Prowess I have none but I have greed a plenty
Pass me your dish as mine appears empty

I'm waiting for Rafa to finish his game

Prowess I have none but I have greed a plenty
I've been the same since I was about twenty.

So now at forty I'm blonde and too fat

So now at forty I'm blonde and too fat
I'm thinking of aerobics and have bought a mat

That doesn't sound too difficult even for a sloth

That doesn’t sound too difficult even for a sloth
Yoga or Pilates - I might try both

Once I get used to the strange positions

Once I get used to the strange positions
I'll aim for sure, for gymnastic perfection.

I'll twist and turn and dangle on the pole

I'll twist and turn and dangle on the pole
Resembling a cute and cuddly mole

Shedding the pounds and losing some weight

Shedding the pounds and losing some weight
That will surely make me feel great.

I'll buy the prettiest dress that I can find

I'll buy the prettiest dress that I can find
and go out to lunch with someone kind

We'll eat something delicious and have a good laugh

We'll eat something delicious and have a good laugh
It may be chilly, I'll take my scarf

Don't want to feel cold and not enjoy it

Don’t want to feel cold and not enjoy it
Why have a log burner and not employ it

To heat the whole cottage, especially the parlour

To heat the whole cottage, especially the parlour
It's got to be warm to increase the ardour

When buttons come undone I don't want goose bumps

When buttons come undone I don't want goose bumps
And I hope he won't notice my stretch marks and lumps

Perhaps I can stay in my satin nightgown

Perhaps I can stay in my satin nightgown
I don't want to look like a bit of a clown

Being discrete is the way to go

Being discrete is the way to go
no need to put it all on show

A bit of sophistication and a smile will go far

A bit of sophistication and a smile will go far
A good deportment will lift the bar.

And once you've snared him, do make sure

And once you've snared him, do make sure
Manners are good and behaviour mature

Humour needs to be a definite YES

And once you've snared him, do make sure
that all your intentions are most definitely pure

If not , I dare say

Going with first posting....

Humour needs to be a definite YES
Making me laugh will always impress

I’ve hade so many who just made me weep

I've had so many who just made me weep
Tossing and turning and yearning for sleep.

Give me a mate that can bring on a smile

Give me a mate that can bring on a smile
cos happiness beats riches by a country mile

Laughter and fun helps to keep us young