Tuesday: Miss MaryDoll’s Tricky, Tantalising, Tortuous, Teaser.

I fast I was posting on Wednesdays Maths thread ! I dunno wot I’ve done ? Where’s it gone ? ? ?

I’m a bit topsy turvy today Miss so I’ve dun the 2nd puzzle (well there’s 2 of them) first. I won’t pm you but I think it’s right. I’ll wait for you later to tell us the answers.
I’ll ‘av a go at the first one when I’ve my bottle of milk. Who’s the milk monitor today? Can I be?

I wont tell, Miss, I promise.

Don't like bubble gum, can I have a ? instead, please?
Then I reely wont tell.
It's a gobstopper

Callistemon, you don't scare me...so there! I took it off to blow my nose and were no grammir school boys anywhere by that shed neither I have a stick of bubble gum I was going to share, but if you want to be a snitch, you can't have any.

And you weren't social distancing from that boy, that one in Y9.

willa that sounds as if you had a very busy time.

But you can't pull the wool over my eyes, I saw you lurking behind the bike sheds with them grammer school boys.
I won't tell Miss though.
And you weren't wearing no mask neither.

It's Parliamo Glesca at it's very best.

You can take the girl out of Glasgow, but you can't take Glasgow out of the girl.

Love your pseudo rants, Marydoll! Didn't understand a word at first, but even before I read the translation, I had the gist....(not bad for a Sassenach eh?!).

Soopa Doopa fanks for the fun Miss Doll

I donut speek forin . I speek proppa Jordy !

Blummin never fort bout the nayber snorin’

Foreign, should have previewed. You are corrupting ME now!

Here are the solutions. I have tried to keep up with the PMs, but lost the plot somewhere in the afternoon.

willa we missed you. I tried to send you a PM, but you have seemed to have blocked PMs. It may be an idea to go to your INBOX and check your settings.
willa ?
Mary51 ?
CraftyGranny ? for the second one.

ANSWER: 1,110.

EXPLANATION: Because the number is divisible by 15, it must also be divisible by 3 and 5 (since 15 is divisible by 3 and 5). If the sum of the digits of a number is divisible by 3, then the number itself is divisible by 3 (this is a clever little math trick/shortcut). The number therefore must contain three ones, six ones, etc. Since the number is divisible by 5, we know that it must end in a 0 (numbers that are divisible by 5 end in a 0 or a 5). The first number that contains three ones and ends in a 0 is 1,110.

ANSWER: The woman couldn't sleep because her next door neighbour was snoring.

EXPLANATION: When she called, it woke him up, stopped his snoring, and let her fall asleep.

Thank you all for being such good sports. I need some paracetamol, I can't understand all those posts in aforegn language. .

Wot! Us miss we’ve been so gud. We welcum new ones. Dun our wk and polished r desks. Are we in detenshun Miss??

Rite yous yins, yur daein ma heid in, am fair scunnered wi the lota ye! Haud yer wheesht or al skelp yur bahoochies the lot a ye! Am fair crabbit the night cos a ya wee nyaffs. Awe they new weans ur bein led astray wi awe this haverin' ?

Oh dear, I forgot I was working in the International School!

(Said in received pronunciation).
Settle down class, you are giving me a headache! I am at the end of my tether over your unruly behaviour and a punishment is likely to ensue. I am not in the best of moods. All the new children are being led astray by all your nonsense.?

Doodle I kud bring im in tmorro if yer lik? E done bite. E luvs beeing tikkeld on is bellie. Ile mek shore Ive got sum biskits fer yoo ter giv im, then e'll be yer bes fren frever.
candelle I fort yoo wos dion reely gud wiv yore spellin. I rekn yoov bin swottin up, reedin awl wot wev bin ritin on ere. Kongat congrach weel dun!

Aw bathsheba I wish ud bring yr dog to skul I wud luv to c it. Duz it bite.
willa I misd u. Glad yr in tody.
candelle u can lurn like wot we duz. Miss is good teechr. Pls stay in clas we lik u.
trisher I not sur thoz boyz tellin you truff. I be carful if I woz u.
Miss, pantglas says her an u are polygamists. Duz that mean u is good at pretendin to be parots.? ?

Welcum bak Willa! But I av ter arsk - if yoov got kids and even granchillin, wotcher doin cummin to skool wiv us lot? Dint yoo lurn nuffin wen yoo was a lil kid? So yore trine to ketchup naow?

Doodle No I dint borough Squiffy's dog, its me oan dog. Weel, its me mums reely but she doant do nuffink wiv it, she jus leevs it awl up too me to luk arftr im. Awl she dose is bies its fud, and she doant alwase evn bovva wiv that. Witch is probbly wye it ett me ohmwerk cos it wor ungarree.

Hello again.....sorry for my absence Miss, but by the time I swam across the pond yesterday, the solutions were already posted. I tried to post in private, but something went horribly wrong. My apologies!

OK....so here's why I couldn't come in or have enough time to do puzzles....... Doodle, Bathsheba, Pantglass, Trisher, Callistemon....I really missed your banter. I hope you missed me.

So, I spent good part of the weekend talking on the phone, facetiming and planting seeds. I also cleaned out the refrigerator and pantry and made an inventory of our supplies....they were dwindling sadly.

Sunday night we 'Zoomed'. We had a virtual get together with our three children and GC. Everybody talked at the same time, but it was a real hoot.

Yesterday, we drove halfway to our daughter's and she did likewise. We engaged in a socially distant exchange of goods, not unlike criminals doing a drug deal. After all the loot was safely put away inside respective trunks (boots) of the cars, we had a nice chat, exchanged farewells and parted ways. It's the closest we've been in weeks.

Early this morning DH and I finally braved the elements! We hit the grocery markets during 'senior hour'. Armed with black (N99) masks, rubber gloves, Lysol spray and hand sanitizer, we nixed the home delivery service that's been gouging us wicked (a 40% premium over their grossly inflated grocery bills)!!! We had enough and decided to give it a go on our own.

A lot of items out of stock, plenty of masks and social distancing. We managed to get the basics and most of what was on our list. Best of all, we saved a lot of our money. Interestingly, masks are becoming quite the fashion statement. I noticed our black N99s got quite a few stares of approval. It hadn't seen that since one of the kids donned his first pair of Nikes. Anyway...good to be back. I missed you and I hope I earned my apple today

@Marydoll

Hello again, here are my answers:

1110

Neighbor is a woman who presumably sleeps alone because she's unattached and has a visitor, or.....it's a couple and the voice on the other end was not the husband's?

You are all priceless - and have cheered me up!
or
U R al prislis n ave cheerd me up (but I carnt writ this as well as the rest of you!).

Fanks Miss. I luv donuts?

So you and Miss hav got a few hubsands eech Pantglas I fink that’s illeagle in this cuntry.

I canna understand much er it

Yes Doodle I ave a langwages baj cos I is a polygamist just like wot Miss is!