Versatile Verse 3

The ‘tache brings on an explosive red rash
So to the pharmacy I must dash

Looking for a remedy that’s soothing

Moustache and sunglasses are my disguise
But sadly, they do come at a price.

The ‘tache brings on an explosive red rash

I think I look suave in my French beret
As I elegantly sip my cafe-au-lait,

Moustache and sunglasses are my disguise

But I’m not renowned for being discreet
Trying to ‘stalk’ someone is no mean feat

I think I look suave in my French beret

If she turns round I'll suddenly study my 'phone
I don't want her to see and come over and moan

but I'm not renowned for being discreet

Perhaps I can follow her to see where she goes
I’ll hang back and creep on the tip of my toes.

If she turns round I’ll suddenly study my ‘phone

I think she's a secret government spy
But she won't tell me no matter how hard I try

Perhaps I can follow her to see where she goes

But she’ll be raring to go after the surgery,
Can't say any more or I'll commit perjury.

I think she's a secret government spy

She’s on the list for a cataract op
All her gallivanting has come to a stop

But she’ll be raring to go after the surgery

There's no-one too good for our virtual friend Crazy
She’s tall and blonde, with eyes, cloudy and hazy

She’s on the list for a cataract op

I've been told, he's too good for the likes of you
Who would say that, I ask you just who?!

There's no-one too good for our virtual friend Crazy

I couldn’t have wished for a better result
Rather not say, just in case you throw an insult

I’ve been told , he’s too good for the likes of you

If he loves me too I'll simply swoon
Then tell the world I’m over the moon

I couldn’t have wished for a better result

I hope he’ll reciprocate, I’m all a quiver
And drinking so much it'll rot my liver,

If he loves me too I'll simply swoon

The beloved, champagne and a scenic view
Has inspired me to whisper ‘I love you’

I hope he’ll reciprocate, I’m all a quiver

My glory days of frothy romance is all but over
but I'm up for romance by the white cliffs of Dover

The beloved, champagne and a scenic view

Will I meet the man of my dreams at last
Was that him who ignored me and walked past?

My glory days of frothy romance is all but over

And generally be on my best behaviour
This might turn out to be my saviour

Will I meet the man of my dreams at last

Best frock, titivate make up and hair
Before reminding myself not to swear

And generally be on my best behaviour

I’d be invited to his “Cocktail Hour”
So rush to dress up after a quick shower.

Best frock, titivate make up and hair

In his starched white uniform, and strong tanned legs
He walks around the deck reminding all of the regs.

I’d be invited to his “Cocktail Hour”

The sea would be calm and the company delightful
I’ll catch the eye of the Captain, so handsome and cool

In his starched white uniform, and strong tanned legs

I've always fancied a trip on a steamer
on deck with wind in my hair; I'm a bit of a dreamer

The sea would be calm and the company delightful

Will get us back home the quickest
A motorised one will be the best.

I’ve always fancied a trip on a steamer

Going with first one..

I’ll treat them to icecream at Ben & Jerry’s
Then we’ll see which one of the ferries

Will get us back home the quickest