Versatile Verse 3

I'll go the airport, in the car I'll wait
All this hanging about is something I really hate

My new year's resolution must be to learn patience

My new year’s resolution must be to learn patience
Trying doing that with my awful relations!

I didn’t used to be so temperamental

I didn’t used to be so temperamental
I’m sure ‘twas just accidental

Fell off the top of Blackpool tower

Fell off the top of Blackpool tower
But luckily landed on a flower.

It was a very large hydrangea

It was a very large hydrangea
In an overgrown bed of blood red Astrantia

Thank goodness it had grown wild and bushy

Thank goodness it had grown wild and bushy
Someone threw a quilt and a cushy

I stayed there all night till I woke up with a start

I stayed there all night till I woke up with a start
Someone galloped by with a horse and cart,

I think it was Steptoe and son from t.v.

I think it was Steptoe and son from t.v.
But I'd lost my glasses so couldn't really see

On second thoughts I'm sure they have both died

On second thoughts I'm sure they have both died
All the best comics have, that's why I cried.

Remember Keeping Up Appearances and To the Manor Born

Remember Keeping up Appearances and To the Manor Born
And the old radio programme Around the Horn

My mum listened to Mrs Dale’s Diary

My mum listened to Mrs Dale’s Diary
And watched the first episode of Corry

She would finish her tea in time for Crossroads

She would finish her tea in time for Crossroads
And made sure she watched all the episodes

She thought she looked like Meg Richardson

She swore she looked like Meg Richardson

She swore she looked like Meg Richardson,
But I heard she looked more like the vicar's son.

With very short hair and prominent ears

With very short hair and prominent ears
He’s been bald on top for many years.

I’d say he resembles Sandy Richardson more

I’d say he resembles Sandy Richardson more,
Or the friendly man who lived next door!

Mum was known to be free in her ways

Mum was known to be free in her ways
She had no problem in loosening her stays

She could drink milk stout till it came out of her ears

She could drink milk stout till it came out of her ears
And whisky, but it brought out the tears...

Then she’ll get merry and dance the Irish jig

Then she'll get merry and dance the Irish jig
All dressed up in just the right rig

She thought she was good enough for Strictly Come Dancing

She thought she was good enough for Strictly come Dancing
But her dance moves were hardly entrancing

Although she was quite brilliant at the tango

Although she was quite brilliant at the tango
She was a sight to see when performing a fandango

Although sometimes I didn't know where to look

Although sometimes I didn’t know where to look
As all of her buxom assets she shook

For an encore she danced a daringly low Limbo

For an encore she danced a daringly low Limbo
I wouldn't say she was a bit of a bimbo

but when she danced she was wild and free

But when she danced she was wild and free
She swayed like an Areca tree.

She was slim, tall and raven haired