Versatile Verse 3

Some folk at the gym are incredibly supple
Especially that young American couple.

I feel quite ashamed of my baggy old bod

I feel quite ashamed of my baggy old bod
I should eat more celery instead of battered cod

I’ll never zip up my yellow summer dress

I’ll never zip up my yellow summer dress
Bought in the sale, I was out to impress

Not realising my rear end was spreading!

Not realising my rear end was spreading
I’d look better wrapped up in my bedding.

I’d be comfy and warm

I'd be comfy and warm
Comfort or style - I am torn

I need some advice from a good friend

I need some advice from a good friend
The only one I trust is my classmate Brend

She’s honest and straight, and will surely tell

She’s honest and straight and will surely tell
Whether, no matter how large, I look well.

I’m certain she’ll give good advice

I’m certain she’ll give good advice
She’s good with words and very precise

She suggested I get my grey hair dyed a shade called titian

She suggested I get my grey hair dyed a shade called titian
So I'll do it tomorrow, that is my mission.

I will then surely stand out in a crowd

I will then surely stand out in a crowd
As long as the Covid rules say that’s allowed.

I’m sure with your new colour, you’ll look superb

I’m sure with your new colour, you’ll look superb.
And by the way, I'm growing a new herb.

Don't know it's name, but it's a leafy dark green

Don’t know it’s name, but it’s a leafy dark green
I’m not a knowledgeable gardener but I am quite keen

I’ve planted a sunflower - it is shooting up high

I’ve planted a sunflower - it is shooting up high
So fast, it might very soon reach the sky

But me, my fingers are not so green

But me, my fingers are not so green
And the feel of mud under my nails is obscene!

I’d love to flowers that live, not just die,

I'd love to grow flowers that live, not just die
but that's as likely as pigs that would fly

I think I will stick with my vegetable patch

I think I will stick with my vegetable patch
I’ve just sewn a second salad batch

Lettuce, cress, spring onions and radish

Lettuce, cress, spring onions and radish
All really tasty with a nice bit of fish.

Grilled to be healthy, without any oil

Grilled to be healthy, without and oil
And new potatoes I’ve dug from the soil

I’ll soon have sweet peas, peas and French beans

I'll soon have sweet peas, peas and French beans
My dinner table will be lovely now I have the means

The flowers in a vase and the veg in a dish

The flowers in a vase and the veg in a dish
will enhance the flavour of a carefully cooked fish

It's important that the table is a feast for your eyes

It's important that the table is a feast for your eyes
With a fan at each end to keep away the flies

We don’t want any suffering with gastro enteritis

We don’t want any suffering with gastro enteritis
I once missed Christmas lunch as I had appendicitis

My dad drove me to hospital, he’d only had 1 milk stout

My dad drove me to hospital, he’d only had one milk stout.
And once I was anæsthetised, they took the damn thing out.

But afterwards, it hurt like hell to laugh, or sneeze, or cough.

But afterwards, it hurt like hell to laugh, or sneeze, or cough.
But if it was gone bad then without it you're better off.

Isn't it strange how parts of us are not really needed

Isn't strange how parts of us are not really needed
and other parts fail because of good advice we never heeded

but a bit of self indulgence shouldn't do us much harm