Versatile Verse 3

I’ve eaten it all up and I feel such a pig
And it’s not just my plateful of food that is big!

I’ve noticed the size of my jumpers increasing

I’ve noticed the size of my jumpers increasing
And the waistband of all of my jeans need releasing

I guess I had better subscribe to a gym

I guess I had better subscribe to a gym
add a wing and a prayer and maybe a hymn

It'll take that and more to get me fit and healthy

It'll take that and more to get me fit and healthy
Will cost quite a packet and Im not wealthy

So maybe I'd better start saving my pay

So maybe I'd better start saving my pay
It’s not much - will probably cover one day

As long as I wear loose tunics, I’m not too bad

As long as I wear loose tunics, I’m not too bad
Because of all the cream doughnuts I've had

I've upgraded now from cuddly to plump

I've upgraded now from cuddly to plump
if I'm honest post Covid I'm a bit of a lump

My friends don't tell me, they're much too polite

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sorry - not quick enough!

My friends don't tell me, they're much too polite
But I have to admit that my skirts are all tight!

So I must be looking with care at my diet

So I must be looking with care at my diet.
Suggest something healthy, I’m willing to try it.

And then, when I’m ready to sit in the sun

And then, when I’m ready to sit in the sun
My figure I’ll show off, I’m certainly no nun

When summer is over, I’ll ditch the diet

When summer is over, I’ll ditch the diet
But while the suns shining I sure wont be quiet

For some good retail therapy Ill visit the shops

For some good retail therapy Ill visit the shops
My wild hair also needs a trim and a crop

Such freedom there was , no lipstick, no bra

Such freedom there was,no lipstick,no bra
No trains, no buses, just hop in the car

I don’t want to wear a mask anymore

I don’t want to wear a mask any more
It’s disgusting the way some get left in the floor.

Or trees are embellished with dog poo in plastic!

Or trees are embellished with dog poo in plastic!
Their care for environment somewhat elastic

It easy to just take your rubbish away

It easy to just take your rubbish away
Keep it in a bag,ready for bin day

A neighbour’s moggie visits me every day

A neighbour’s moggie visits me every day
He's very friendly and just wants to play.

But my neighbour accused me of dog theft

sorry... mistake.
But my neighbour accused me of cat theft

But my neighbour accused me of cat theft
I said, without me, the cat would be bereft

She said, you can have her, see if I care

She said, you can have her, see if I care!
But now she is my cat, she wants to live there.

She’s a two-dinner cat now, like Six-Dinner Sid

She’s a two-dinner cat now, like Six-Dinner Sid
I bet that costs you quite a few quid

Me? I’ve always wanted a little Capuchin

Me? I’ve always wanted a little Capuchin
They are agile and funny and sharp as a pin

Still I love my little moggie more than I can say

Still I love my little moggie more than I can say
She cuddles and purrs so I do hope she'll stay

But I hope she doesn't bring in any dead mice

But I hope she doesn't bring in any dead mice
Crawling with fleas and infested with lice

Or even worse birds all mangled and torn