Versatile Verse 3

Not Orinoco, more like Great Uncle Bulgaria
More round my middle than any other area

If I trip, I'll wobble but won't fall down

If I trip, I’ll wobble but I won’t fall down
I have many near misses that make my hubby frown

I have two sisters who are forever tripping

I have two sisters who are forever tripping
Over their skirts and therefore ripping

I've told them to take more tonic in their gin

I've told them to take more tonic in their gin
but watering good gin down is surely a sin

I always wait for mine until it's after seven

I always wait for mine until it’s after seven
I usually have two between then and eleven.

An old wive’s tale names it “Mother’s Ruin”

An old wives tale names it Mothers Ruin
Too much of it and I’m a shoo in

For meetings at Alcoholics Anonymous

For meetings at Alcoholics Anonymous
There cannot be meetings due to Coronavirus

It’s all conducted on a platform called Zoom

It’s all conducted on a platform called Zoom
Can't keep up with all this, brain's got no room

Can just about manage gransnet.com

Can just about manage gransnet.com
Spending time on there doesn't do any harm

It's great for indulging in some procrastination

It’s great for indulging in some procrastination
A gardening gran’s advice saved my dying carnation.

It’s oddly satisfying to know what grans are having for tea

It’s oddly satisfying to know what grans are having for tea
And knowing there's others who are all alone like me.

So I'll raise my cup to all of you and send a friendly hug

So I’ll raise my cup to all of you and send a friendly hug
(There’s a wee dram in mine and it’s the size of a mug)

I can’t imagine a day without joining our virtual chats

I can’t imagine a day without joining our virtual chats
Whoever started it, let's take off our hats.

I check into some forums, at least twice a day

I check into some forums, at least twice a day
I'm always interested in what Grans have to say

Sometimes when I'm feeling brave I venture an opinion

Sometimes when I’m feeling I venture an opinion
I consider it first - I’m a thoughtful civilian

I don’t aim to upset, or insult other grans

I don’t aim to upset, or insult other grans
I agree, that's never in my plans.

Some are very outspoken, I just don't have the guts

Some are very outspoken, I just don’t have the guts
I’m not clever, in fact I’m a klutz!

I’ve not been acclaimed for my stunning brain power

I've not been acclaimed for my stunning brain power
When some start on the politics it's hard not to cower

But lots give their views with humour and grace

But lots give their views with humour and grace
The comments on threads move on at a pace

There’s “Good Morning” which Mick opens each day at dawn

But lots give their views with humour and grace
I wish we could meet up and chat face to face

Maybe when lockdown is over this dream will come true

Maybe when lockdown is over this dream will come true
Yes, good idea - can I join the queue?

When we meet , we’ll talk in rhythm and rhyme

When we meet, we'll talk in rhythm and rhyme
Oh my dear, we'll have such a good time

It will be such a relief to stop wearing a mask

It will be such a relief to stop wearing a mask
Making them for my family has been quite a task

My friend prefers a visor, attached to glasses

My friend prefers a visor, attached to glasses
But even that doesn’t appease the masses

They’re only happy to see masks triple ply

They’re only happy to see masks triple ply
Some are rebelling and keep asking 'why?'

It's for the greater good, I say to these plonkers