VERSATILE VERSE 3

I try to read the descriptions between the lines
If you forget to post items back it's like paying fines

Money all gone but nothing to show

Nothing worse than being called a miser
But when you've been caught out it makes you wiser

I try to read the descriptions between the lines

Paying out for things unseen
But no one likes to look mean

Nothing worse than being called a miser

Aches and pains discussed in detail
And the perils of online retail

Paying out for things unseen

Burger and cola with lots of burping
Lots of talking and lots of slurping

Aches and pains discussed in detail

I prefer it now, casual with kitchen suppers
All that poshness has had the scuppers

Burger and cola with lots of burping

Dinner parties of old, were nothing without it
We kept it formal with specific places to sit

I prefer it now, casual with kitchen suppers

The top of a trifle is my favourite part
All that cream and custard, the desires of my heart

Dinner parties of old, were nothing without it

Some like Christmas pudding with custard and cream
I’ll just have the custard and cream, what a dream!

The top of a trifle is my favourite part

Not sure if I should serve with custard?
Or maybe Carnation would cut the mustard.

Some like Christmas pudding with custard and cream

But I'll make do with tinned peaches instead
Not a problem as long as we’re fed

Not sure if I should serve with custard?

Strawberries and cream you can’t go past,
I long to eat it now, very fast!

But I'll make do with tinned peaches instead

Today I had fish and chips down at the coast
Now that’s the food I love the most

Strawberries and cream you can’t go past

But sushi is a favourite food
It's tasty, healthy and altogether good

Today I had fish and chips down at the coast

They’re chitterlings sausages, so hard to chew
And American jerky just makes me spew

But sushi is a favourite food

And don’t get me started on Scotland’s haggis
French Andouilette equally bad is

They’re chitterlings sausages, so hard to chew.

Oh yuk, how can anyone eat that stuff?
Same with oysters, once was enough

And don’t get me started on Scotland’s haggis

I once, all unknowingly, chose steak tartare
Not realising it was more than rare

Oh yuk, how can anyone eat that stuff?

I’m not to bothered about the cuisine
But not if served raw, like some places I’ve been.

I once, all unknowingly, chose steak tartare

Oh isn't that boring, I'll holiday instead
A 5* Star Hotel, with great feather beds

I’m not too bothered about the cuisine

That's the problem with wearing Lycra
so I'll get a new kitchen with sides made of formica

Oh isn't that boring, I'll holiday instead

I’ll do all that I can do, to pedal with power
I’ll be very sweaty and will need to shower

That’s the problem with wearing Lycra

But he won’t help me back I’ve made up my mind
And encased in tight spandex, a strong wind behind

I’ll do all that I can do, to pedal with power

He said "oh no, you must be mad"
He's often grumpy which makes me sad

But he won't hold me back I've made up my mind

By telling him I’ll use my gran’s inheritance
Five hundred pounds and twenty pence

He said “oh no, you must be mad”