Limericks 17

I'd love to visit Loch Lomond
Isn’t that where Nessie was born?
Could have a paddle
Ness? I’d skedaddle
And look back to check if he’s gone

A cow ran into my kitchen

A cow ran into my kitchen
If he comes again I'll be bitchin'

A cow ran into my kitchen
If he comes again I'll be bitchin'
Knocked the fridge over

A cow ran into my kitchen
If she comes again I'll be bitchin'
Knocked the fridge over
I'm off to Dover

A cow ran into my kitchen
If she comes again I'll be bitchin'
Knocked the fridge over
I'm off to Dover
Leave the mess to Mrs Hinchin

Can never remember her name

Can never remember her name
As these young gels now all look the same

Can never remember her name
These young gels now all look the same
I don't know who's who

Can never remember her name
These young gels now all look the same
I don't know who's who
What they say or do

Can never remember her name
These young gels now all look the same
I don't know who's who
What they say or do
Or how they acquired their fame.

How can I become a celeb?

How can I become a celeb?
I'm tired of being just a pleb

How can I become a celeb?
I'm tired of being just a pleb
Appear in the nude??!!

How can I become a celeb?
I'm tired of just being a pleb
Appear in the nude??!!
Oh, that's too rude!

How can I become a celeb?
I'm tired of just being a pleb
Appear in the nude??!!
Oh, that's too rude!
Fame in the past - you were a deb.

I have watched so many boxsets

I have watched so many boxsets
My sofa has burnt my fishnets

I have watched so many boxsets
My sofa has burnt my fishnets
My eyes are on stalks

I have watched so many boxsets
My sofa has burnt my fishnets
My eyes are on stalks
Don’t even go for walks

I have watched so many boxsets
My sofa has burnt my fishnets
My eyes are on stalks
Don’t even go for walks
I'm fed up with covid upsets.

"I Wanna Break Free", just like Queen

"I Wanna Break Free", just like Queen
And go wild just like a young teen

"I Wanna Break Free", just like Queen
And go wild just like a young teen
White, high platform heels

“I Wanna Break Free", just like Queen
And go wild just like a young teen
Sans mask for a start!

"I Wanna Break Free", just like Queen
And go wild just like a young teen
White, high platform heels
A set of cool wheels

"I Wanna Break Free", just like Queen
And go wild just like a young teen
White, high platform heels
A set of cool wheels
But really Im just a has been

I've got money to burn just now

I've got money to burn just now
So I will splurge thousands, and how!

I've got money to burn just now
So I will splurge thousands, and how!
I’ll give some to you

I've got money to burn just now
So I will splurge thousands, and how!
I’ll give some to you
Your savings just grew?