Versatile Verse 4 please continue

fell in the water and floated to France.

(I’m following on from Biglouis)

Of course he is monarch of all he surveys
But boy has he got some odd little ways!

He can even dance a tango.

He can even dance a tango
But he stalks like a commando

Sits like a statue watching a bird

Sits like a statue watching a bird
Thinks I’d like a dead one, completely absurd.

Kill mice? I’ll be pleased, but I don’t need to see

Kill mice? I’ll be pleased, but I don’t need to see
Their bodies while I'm eating my tea.

I catch mine humanely and take them for a walk

I catch mine humanely and take them for a walk
Sometimes I wonder if my cat could talk

What would he say about my softness of heart

What would he say about my softness of heart
'Why bother when I can just tear them apart?'

Sometimes he eats them and it makes him sick

Sometimes he eats them and it makes him sick
Sometimes just paws them and gives them a flick

Cats are well known for tormenting their prey

The ones Mary Berry bakes
Then scones , cream and jam

I think next a trifle

Following from Grany

Cats are well known for tormenting their prey
They look like lions, and they scare me, I say

When lockdown’s over, I must go to the gym

When lockdown's over, I must go to the gym
and stop filling my wine glass up to the brim

I'll aim for moderation and keep off the gin

I'll aim for moderation and keep off the gin
Hope my skinny jeans I still can get in

An hour on the treadmill is just what I need

An hour on the treadmill is just what I need
Of my expanding waist, I must take heed

I know what my friends mean, when they say “you look well”

I know what my friends mean, when they say “you look well”
They think that my figure has quite gone to hell

They are just too polite to speak out the truth

They are just too polite to speak out the truth
They like to be polite and never seem uncouth.

But perhaps the truth would do me a favour

But perhaps the truth would do me a favour
maybe I'd stick to healthy foods even if I don't like the flavour

It's going to take more will power than I've got

It's going to take more will power than I've got
I might lose a little weight, even a lot

The pounds will come creeping back slowly

The pounds will come creeping back slowly
Even though I beg them not to, lowly.

Perhaps regular fasting is best

Perhaps regular fasting is best
I may as well try that way, I've tried all the rest

A diet that incorporates champagne I could enjoy

A diet that incorporates champagne I could enjoy
And all of my willpower I could deploy

Alas, for most diets are not all that tasty

Alas, for most diets are not all that tasty
I'll give one a go and try not to be hasty.

It would be nice to fit into my clothes

It would be nice to fit into my clothes
My wardrobe can’t cope if I buy more of those.

The charity shops will soon be overflowing

The charity shops will soon be overflowing
From all the excess that we will be bestowing

For many have over indulged in the lockdown

For many have over indulged in the lockdown
gorging at home instead of roaming around town

Now we are out there and the shops need our cash