Limericks with very strict rules (7) 88558

Perhaps she will start a new life
She's tired of being his wife
I've heard she's upped sticks
I asked her, "how's tricks?"
Her reply: “I’ve a life without strife”.

She’s decided to book a nice cruise

She’s decided to book a nice cruise
I’m wondering which one she’ll choose

She’s decided to book a nice cruise
I’m wondering which one she’ll choose
A trip round the Med

She’s decided to book a nice cruise
I’m wondering which one she’ll choose
A trip round the Med
Is worthwhile they said

She’s decided to book a nice cruise
I’m wondering which one she’ll choose
A trip round the Med
Is worthwhile they said
And there is masses of free booze!

But don't get drunk on the top deck

But don't get drunk on the top deck
You'll just end up looking a wreck

But don't get drunk on the top deck
You'll just end up looking a wreck
Enjoy the sea air

But don't get drunk on the top deck
You'll just end up looking a wreck
Enjoy the sea air
Of hot sun, beware!

But don't get drunk on the top deck
You'll just end up looking a wreck
Enjoy the sea air
Of hot sun, beware!
Especially on your poor neck.

Slap on loads of Factor 50

Slap on loads of Factor 50
It should keep you looking nifty

Slap on loads of Factor 50
It should keep you looking nifty
No patches of red

Slap on loads of Factor 50
It should keep you looking nifty
No patched of red
Or poor aching head

Slap on loads of Factor 50
It should keep you looking nifty
No patches of red
Or poor aching head
Use lots - no time to be thrifty!

I've just bought a budgie named Blue

I’ve just bought a budgie named Blue
He chatters and chirps right on cue

I’ve just bought a budgie named Blue
He chatters and chirps right on cue
He loves his millet

I’ve just bought a budgie named Blue
He chatters and chirps right on cue
He loves his millet
And a steak fillet

I’ve just bought a budgie named Blue
He chatters and chirps right on cue
He loves his millet
And a steak fillet
So much greed he surely will rue!

His stomach looked like a football

His stomach looked like a football
I’d say the steak was his downfall

His stomach looked like a football
I'd say the steak was his downfall
Too big to fly high

His stomach looked like a football
I'd say the steak was his downfall
Too big to fly high
I think he might die!

His stomach looked like a football
I'd say the steak was his downfall
Too big to fly high
I think he might die!
I must give the vet a phone call

Well Blue is now back on his swing

Well Blue is now back on his swing
Recovered from his feeding fling

Well Blue is now back on his swing
Recovered from his feeding fling
He’s sticking to seed

Well Blue is now back on his swing
Recovered from his feeding fling
He’s sticking to seed
And just the odd weed

Well Blue is now back on his swing
Recovered from his feeding fling
He's sticking to seed
And just the odd weed
As he jingles his bell - ting a ling

I'm planning a pizza for tea