You see, he likes his bird done right He likes it all trussed up quite tight With stuffing inside A source of great pride But just think of the poor bird’s plight.
He bought me a great Christmas gift Oh joy, it's a bright red stairlift! Can I borrow it please ? To save dodgy knees, No, I'll need it as downward I drift.
Please don't tell my grown up kids that As Mick lives in the downstairs flat He's got mistletoe And said ''Ho Ho Ho!'' ''When you want me upstairs, just tap''