New Limerick Thread II 2016 (following New Limerick Thread)

I once had a sweet little cat
Who was just a little bit fat
I rationed his food
Which affected his mood
I think we’ve experienced that?

Strict dieting makes me depressed

I once had a sweet little cat
Who was just a little bit fat
I rationed his food
Which affected his mood

I once had a sweet little cat
Who was just a little bit fat
I rationed his food

I once had a sweet little cat
Who was just a little bit fat

He needed looked after for sure
As he always smelled of manure
Oh my, what a state
No use to a mate
So he ran off and lived on the moor.

I once had a sweet little cat

He needed looked after for sure
As he always smelt of manure
Oh my, what a state
No use to a mate

He needed looked after for sure
As he always smelt of manure
Oh my, what a state

He needed looked after for sure
As he always smelt of manure

I had an old uncle who drank
He wouldn't wash so he stank
But what could we do?
If he smelled of poo
And his hair was greasy and lank

He needed looked after for sure

I had an old uncle who drank
He wouldn't wash, so he stank
But what could we do?
If he smalled of poo

I had an old uncle who drank
He wouldn't wash, so he stank
But what could we do?

I had an old uncle who drank
He wouldn't wash, so he stank

Some records will be a surprise
Others will bring tears to your eyes
Just play them and see
I’m sure you’ll agree
The words that I’m speaking are wise.

I had an old uncle who drank

Some records will be a surprise
Others will bring tears to your eyes
Just play them and see
I'm sure you'll agree

Some records will be a surprise
Others will bring tears to your eyes
Just play them and see

Some records will be a surprise
Others will bring tears to your eyes

There's beautiful music in church
Some very fine tunes if you search
With lyrics amusing
And hard pews bruising
A good place to do some research

Some records will be a surprize

There’s beautiful music in church
Some very fine tunes if you search
With lyrics amusing
And sometimes bemusing

There's beautiful music in church
Some very fine tune if you search
With lyrics amusing
And hard pews bruising

There’s beautiful music in church
Some very fine tunes if you search
With lyrics amusing

There’s beautiful music in church
Some very fine tunes if you search

Close by there’s a church with two spires
The Vicar decided to hire
Somebody to clean
The bits in between
Pews that were used by the choirs

There’s beautiful music in church

Close by there's a church with two spires
The Vicar decided to hire
Somebody to clean
The bits in between

Close by there's a church with two spires
The Vicar decided to hire
Somebody to clean

Close by there’s a church with two spires
The Vicar decide to hire