NEW - "New Limerick Thread II 2016" (following New Limerick Thread

A small gerbil would be quite cheap
A very small pet for to keep
A bit like a rat
But they get very fat
So they spend all their time fast asleep

I once had a hamster called Sam

I once had a hamster called Sam
He had once won the great Grand Slam.

I once had a hamster called Sam
He had once won the great Grand Slam
A hamster with style

I once had a hamster called Sam
He had once won the great Grand Slam
A hamster with style
Drove up to Carlisle

I once had a hamster called Sam
He had once won the great Grand Slam
A hamster with style
Drove up to Carlisle
And got stuck in a huge traffic jam

Today it has started to rain

Today it has started to rain
Not enough yet, its still a shame

Today it has started to rain
Not enough yet, its still a shame
My garden will drink

Today it has started to rain
Not enough yet, its still a shame
My garden will drink
And the dry bits shrink

Today it has started to rain
Not enough yet, its still a shame
My garden will drink
And the dry bits shrink
But my lawn won't green up again

I went and had my fortune told

I went and had my fortune told
Of days to come and days of old

I went and had my fortune told
Of days to come and days of old
It was uncanny

I went and had my fortune told
Of days to come and days of old
It was uncanny
She mentioned my granny

I went and had my fortune told
Of days to come and days of old
It was uncanny
She spoke of my Granny

I went and had my fortune told
Of days to come and days of old
It was uncanny
She mentioned granny
What she told me made me grow cold

In shock I returned to my flat

In shock I returned to my flat
The fraud stuff - she really did that?

In shock I returned to my flat
The fraud stuff - she really did that?
Was she really a crook?

In shock I returned to my flat
The fraud stuff - she really did that?
Was she really a crook?
Well, she did "cook the book"

In shock I returned to my flat
The fraud stuff - she really did that?
Was she really a crook?
Well, she did "cook the book"
With the excuse of "bureaucrat"

But ..and how might the fortune crone know?

But ..and how might the fortune crone know?
Has she contacts with hell below?

But ..and how might the fortune crone know?
Has she contacts with hell below?
Or worked with the police

But ..and how might the fortune crone know?
Has she contacts with hell below?
Or worked with police
Their palms she would grease

But ..and how might the fortune crone know?
Has she contacts with hell below?
Or worked with police
Their palms she would grease
Help with anyone who's her foe

She got away with it for years

She got away with it for years
But is in prison now, three cheers

She got away with it for years
But is in prison now, three cheers
She won't be missed at all