LIMERICKS (April 2025 contd August 2026)

I would like to have a chat
About my dog and then my cat

I would have liked to have a chat
About my dog and then my cat
To ask your advice

I would have liked to have a chat
About my dog and then my cat
To ask your advice
About my pet mice

I would have liked to have a chat
About my dog and then my cat
To ask your advice
About my pet mice
And up in the attic, my bat.

Some people think I am strange

Some people think I am strange
Just because I’ve got the mange

Some people think I am strange
Just because I've got the mange
I constantly itch

Some people think I am strange
Just because I've got the mange
I constantly itch
I scream at high pitch

Some people think I am strange
Just because I've got the mange
I constantly itch
I scream at high pitch
My vocal chords have a wide range

I was a soprano you know

I was a soprano you know
I was then the star of the show

I was a soprano you know
I was then the star of the show
Audience adored me

I was a soprano you know
I was then the star of the show
Audience adored me
When I hit a high C

I was a soprano you know
I was then the star of the show
Audience adored me
When I hit a high C
Not that I am given to crow

My humility knows no bounds

My humility knows no bounds
Although I create gorgeous sounds

My humility knows no bounds
Although I create gorgeous sounds
I'm modest and shy

My humility knows no bounds
Although I create gorgeous sounds
I'm modest and shy
But then, I can't lie

My humility knows no bounds
Although I create gorgeous sounds
I'm modest and shy
But then, I can't lie
My neighbour threatens me with hounds.

Is my singing really that bad?

Is my singing really that bad?
Or are his objections quite mad?

Is my singing really that bad?
Or are his objections quite mad?
I sing Do, Ray, Me,

Is my singing really that bad?
Or are his objections quite mad?
I sing Do, Ray, Me,
As loud as can be

Is my singing really that bad?
Or are his objections quite mad?
I sing Do, Ray, Me,
As loud as can be
And when you will stop, I'll be glad

Perhaps you should try singing bass

Perhaps you should try singing bass
That would wipe the smile off his face

Perhaps you should try singing bass
That would wipe the smile off his face
They say silence is golden

Perhaps you should try singing bass
That would wipe the smile off his face
They say silence is golden
And does embolden

Perhaps you should try singing bass
That would wipe the smile off his face
They say silence is golden
And does embolden
All who are stuck in this place

Ah, we have peace at last