On worry and Ruby Wax

Just finished it! IT was really good and full of wisdom but my problem is I read about mindfulness, meditation etc but don't seem to be able to practice it especially when I am in worrying mode. I totally get it on an intellectual level but need practice. Have now signed up for a course starting in autumn which will hopefully help. I would certainly recommend the book. Ruby Wax's autobiography is great too. She is a brave lady.

I like Ruby Wax too (but I didn't really want to, because for a long time I thought she was daft and annoying). I read an interview with her recently where she gave a really good tip - when you find yourself locked in to worrying, "trick" your mind by listening out for a sound and focussing on that for a while - e.g. the hum of an air conditioner, whirr of the fan in your computer, anything! Result is instant mindfulness!

My way of doing "mindfulness" is by doing something that requires all my concentration: knitting, cross stitch, baking something tricky... it works for me.

I saw her show 'Losing It' at the Edinbugh Fringe two years ago.
Like you Grannyknot I didn't want to like her - but I did.
I think she is doing a great job of raising awareness and acceptance of depression.

Just watched Ruby Wax's TED talk online Not sure how you blue things but here is the link if you are interested. Maybe someone clever can "blue" it.

http://www.ted.com/talks/ruby_wax_what_s_so_funny_about_mental_illness.html

www.ted.com/talks/ruby_wax_what_s_so_funny_about_mental_illness.html

(not clever - just know how to do it! )

I too thought that Ms Wax was unfunny and OTT in her attempts to entertain. She turns out to be a lady of depth and insight especially around the topic of mental health.
Her own insight and her willingness to share her own experiences make her contributions very valuable

Thank you Ana.

I shall order the book! and thank you for the frank reviews and mindfulness tip. An overactive imagination and inner voice is a curse - drains energy and paralyses me.

My copy arrived today and I started to read first page....every word hit home. I am 'booking' myself some quite time to sit and read it properly. It looks just the thing I need.

Pollaidh and HildaW hope you both enjoy the book. It is a relief sometimes to read about how other people feel. Someone said "we read to know we are not alone". Isn't that the truth? Ruby Wax's autobiography "How do want me" is also very good and can now be got quite cheap from Amazon as it is quite old! It is reassuring to know that I am not the only person who is just a wee bit screwed up.

I found the comments on Ruby Wax's experiences of mental ill health and how she she deals with hers, very useful. I agree with 'Wisewoman' about mindfulness and meditation, I too get it on an intellectual level and long to feel the strength and peace that others gain from it, but I fail dismally when I try to practice it.

At the moment I am battling with a really painful arthritic knee and also I had a colpopexy surgical procedure in January. I understood it would leave me tired for a while, but here I am six months later still suffering very tiring episodes and coupled with the anxiety of this I feel the need for some sort of
help as it is affecting my mental health.

I will order Ms Wax's book and see how I get on with it. Even though I am nearly 80 years of age I don't want to give up just yet. I feel that just writing here about my feelings is a help. Keep up the good work.

magsmay if you are feeling unusually tired and anxious too, perhaps it might be an idea to see your GP? I don't know anything about the surgical procedure you referred to, but if you haven't recovered as quickly as you expected to, perhaps the GP could help?

magsmay 'get with other people' is one of my mainstays when I need distraction - posting on Gransnet helps as you say, but isn't there a meditation or mindfulness group that you could maybe get to in your area? I went along to a 'Mind Yoga' course during my work lunch hour in a rather cynical frame of mind the other day, to accompany my friend and colleague and to my surprise, I not only came away from the hour completely renewed and feeling deeply relaxed, I slept like a log that night (always a bonus when I do anything like this - I seem to have delayed benefits!). I don't even know whether what we did was a 'mindfulness' exercise, I just went along and got lucky.

Magsmay I hope you can get some help from the book. I totally understand the feeling that when you are in pain and anxious it is so difficult to think clearly. I guess that is why we are supposed to practice all the time so that when the bad times come we are prepared. Ruby Wax shows how practising mindfullness over time actually changes the brain. If we don't do it then we can't expect it to kick in in the bad times. You can see I know all about it BUT still don't do it. Am inspired to try again so off to the conservatory to still my mind. Hope you feel better soon.

Ruby Wax started an on-line help group for people suffering depression, it's called Black Dog Tribe. I've personally found it very supportive

I don't suffer from depression, but when my daughter first cut off all contact with me, I had many weeks when I lay awake all night composing letters to her in my head, and going back over her life to see what went wrong. I tried reading until my eyes were too tired, then listening to classical music, but even so I would wake feeling tired and she would be the first thing in my mind. I have now come to accept that things won't change and I am able to sleep again. I wish I had found some technique for switching off such useless thoughts but I have always been mistrustful of them. I can't attend any classes as I don't live in England, but my daughter has sent me a yoga DVD - perhaps I should have given it a try.

Greatnan you have obviously managed over time to switch off the pointless thoughts and get some sleep. Do you know how and why you came to a point of acceptance. I think acceptance of things AS THEY ARE and not wondering why they happened or trying to change them is part of the answer but again I am intellectualising and not actually practicing what I preach! Hope you are enjoying your holiday.

Thank you, wisewoman - yes, I am having a wonderful time snorkelling on the coral several times a day. Apart from my sadness about my daughter, my life is pretty much ideal and of course I have not lost contact with very young grandchildren, which must be very difficult.
I had great support from my other daughter and her six children, and also from the eldest daughter of the one who is estranged from me. They made me see that I was not responsible for the choice my daughter made - she could have got help with her addiction but I think she likes being able to escape from reality. I feel desperately sorry for her three other children - I don't think they believe her accusations against me, but they are afraid of upsetting her. I wish I could persuade them that it is quite wrong to indulge anybody with paranoid delusions.
I have always believed in the old saying that we have to change what we can change, accept what we can't change, and have the wisdom to know the difference. There was no point in letting my daughter's problems ruin the rest of my life.
I hope all of you with family problems will find a happier outcome.

Greatnan...Yay!

I have good friends, Soop, present company included.

I finished Ruby's book and found it inspiring and helpful. I have also bought "Mindfulness" by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. The work of taming my mind begins!
Greatnan - snorkelling must be quite a meditation in itself!

Glad you enjoyed the book. Hopefully Mark Williams will help you get started!! I got started but keep having to start again/

It requires such discipline, doesn't it Wisewoman? Still, perseverance counts and I am sure that any number of false starts is better than not trying at all.