Depression

Just started reading the Ruby Wax book and it has made me laugh for the first time since heaven knows when - she is very funny. A good side effect!

Here is a little irony. Today I had some grapefruit juice for the first time in decades. My new tablets have now arrived with an instruction across the front of the box that they should not be taken if you have had .......guess what?.......grapefruit juice. I can hardly believe it. So I have to wait a few days before I can start them. Maybe I shall just have to rely on Ruby Wax.

Glad you like the book Mishap.
I've heard of grapefruit juice interacting with some things, but didn't know what. That's life, eh

Just another thank you to whoever recommended the Ruby Wax book - I think it was jane. I am finding it so helpful - it is very down to earth and endlessly funny. I went to a mindfulness counsellor at my DD's instigation a few weeks ago and she drove me nuts - she was so vague that you wanted to pick her up and shake her; and I kept thinking "This waffle is costing me a fortune!"

However, Ruby is very focused on how the use of mindfulness can alter your chemical activity; and her descriptions of the action of cortisol on the body is a blow by blow account of what is happening to me just now. Also she has an amazing description of what it feels like when depression returns that resonated with me so much........

"Sometimes I get this familiar ache in my heart and a sense of stabbing emptiness around my ribcage. I don't even know what brings it on; it's just familiar like a horrible visitor. What brings me to my knees though is the even bigger heart-hurt when I recognise this ghastly guest is back again." Anyone else recognise this? Judging by this thread, I would guess that there are others who will identify with this.

But she then goes on to talk about how she tackles this with mindfulness.

I like her approach - I am not into airy-fairy stuff.

I am still locked on a battle with this demon here, but have taken so much heart from the support and understanding of friends, family and GNet.

Grapefruit juice is slowly exiting! - I'm drinking lots!

Mishap It's nice to read that you're having a chuckle with Ruby despite the grapefruit delay!
It always helps to know that you aren't alone

Mishap

More Mishap.
I will read the book, your summary is so encouraging. I read something this weekend about the benefits of Compassion rather than Cognitive Behaviour Therapy bringing huge benefits. My simplistic take on that, was it's yet another take on the power of positive thinking

It truly is a beast. I had a good day yesterday, but crashed in a big way after I went to bed. It shakes the confidence as you cannot trust the better times to be a reflection of what is to come. Biggest problem for me is the closing in of my life and having to cancel all that makes it meaningful for me. I just have to bite the bullet and try to carry on. It is a real b****r.

You must bear in mind that all the things you usually participate in will still be there when you have healed physically and mentally. You will be welcomed back with open arms.

In the waiting period remind yourself that you have great depth of character and this will help you find inner resources to cope. You willfind other worthwhile things to fill your days.

Chin up.

Exactly what jings said Mishap. Your GN friends will be here for you while you get better. (((hugs)))

Thank you so much - support from you all means a great deal to me in this strange and fearful territory through which I am plodding.

Mishap This territory has lots of us peering round the trees, trying to find the path out, so we'll just keep waving at each other and shouting encouragement and I'm sure we'll all get out eventually!

My doctor told me this week that I'm anxious, well I could have told him that!!

Apparently anxiety is now being recognised as an illness in it's own right. Not just a lesser level of depression.

I've not had full blown depression thank goodness, but I have looked over the precipice - luckily I worked for a mental health charity and they recognised what I didn't. I hope the sun shines for you soon Mishap.

I'm starting to get very nervous about seeing my Dr tomorrow re my hip problem, The pain is now right down the femur, I hope he will refer me quickly and not mess about trying to sort it himself. Early appointment 8:20am.

Good luck Pompa.

you'll be at the doctor's as I type - hope it goes well pompa

Mixed result. Dr. is not convinced that it is coming loose, he thinks it may be bursitis, which can be treated at the surgery. If he is right that is excellent news. I am off to have an x-ray this afternoon.

Sounds like a speedy response/solution. Fingers crossed.

Mishap the words you quoted from Ruby Wax struck a real chord with me.

There was an item on Radio 4's "The Listening Project" this week with a little girl talking to her father about her mother, who had died suddenly when the girl was very young indeed. She was asking her father how often he thought about his late wife, and when he said every day, the little girl used a phrase something like "it's always there on a shelf" and I knew exactly what she meant, it's as if your feelings about someone who has died are perhaps in a jar on a"shelf" in the larder or shed of your mind, if that makes sense? (Might help if you have a google for the programme and listen to it).

My new tablets are starting to have some effect, I don't feel quite so anxious, but tonight I will be going up a dose which I'm not looking forward to, as I am already getting the headaches that are a common side effect.

Pompa - gosh, how speedily things work round your way - an x-ray today!!! Let us hope that the result of that shows that your hip problem can be dealt with simply and easily. I do hope that it is good news for you.

Phoenix - I am glad to hear that the medication is easing the anxiety and hope that the higher dose goes well for you.

I am due to start the sertraline today, but I am waiting till OH returns from the GP just in case it triggers an arrhythmia - I would rather have someone in the house with me just in case. We ar e in the middle of nowhere and I would not like to be in the grip of the AF here on my own.

Better day yesterday but ropy this morning - it comes and goes. There is a constant baseline depression with all my functions slowed down, and then superimposed on that are phases of true bleakness and ill-being. The unpredictability is a big part of the problem as it undermines my confidence.

I have contacted a counsellor who came with a high recommendation by word of mouth and she has phoned this morning. She sounds my sort of person - very practical and pro-active. Because she cannot see me till next week she is going to put some information about therapies in the post so that I can make a start on some of the exercises. It is good that she understands straight away (without me prompting) that I need things to get a grab on to give me hope.

Every good wish to you, Mishap

Mishap did you see that the doctor on the health q and a, gave the all clear on Sertraline? (And on my fluoxetine too)

I could have gone for the X-ray this morning, but we are going near the hospital this afternoon, so will be going soon. It's a walk in service. Can mean waiting if they are busy, but usually ok.

Women, will I ever understand them????? When I said I thought it meant having the hip replaced, DW said "you always look on the black side", when I came home and said it might not be serious, she said "don't get you hopes up" DOH !!!!

DOH! indeed - come on now, get it right!

Hope x-ray shows good things.

Oh, pompa!

It really is good to hear from the 'other side' so to speak - puts things in perspective...

Yes jingle - I have looked at that now and it is reassuring.

I have taken some sertraline and now feel a bit queazy but otherwise OK. I hope this will wear off.