Depression

Thank you for that suggestion Elegran - music has been my life, so that comfort is always there in the background. I have to be careful what I play though as I have a great liking for such as Mahler, which tends to be a bit gloomy!

Jane - I will look up Ruby Wax and see what she has to say.

Yes, I would avoid Mahler!

On another thread I have been singing the praises of Chris Barber - the strict tempo and warm clarinet solos do it for me - I think the tempo is close to a heartbeat and are like a mother's heartbeat to a baby.

Grand march from Aida!

Mozart - always lifts my spirits

In have downloaded Ruby Wax's book onto my kindle and I will look forward to reading it.

Hope it helps, Mishap.

Chopin's nocturnes have soothed me at difficult times.

Can I say, I'm having a fit of the miseries myself tonight?
I keep remembering the time my husband died 11 years ago! I should be over it, but every now and again I remember that morning and I just dissolve into tears.
I'm 70 in a few weeks time and I'm wondering if I even want to get to my birthday?
I'm sure I'll get over it, but just at the moment I feel very low.
Can someone give me a {{hug}}.

[hug]
I am probably not the best one as thankfully, know little about this sort of thing.
And am new round these parts.
But am hugging in case everyone else has gone to bed.

Thanks

I'm sending you a big ((hug)) and a , Galen

I'm so thankful I'm not in your position and I don't suppose you ever get over such a loss but you live with it.

You are coming up to a milestone birthday which is bound to throw up memories. Keep thinking of those lovely memories which are yours to cherish.

From one former boater to another. Don't lose your fenders!

Hug from me too Galen. x

Sorry to hear you are feeling down Galen. Have a ((hug)). I hope you get some rest tonight and in the morning things will feel better.

Galen I don't think you ever properly "get over it".

I am too logical to really believe all that "meet again in heaven" scenario, but I find myself thinking that where he is gone there is no such thing as time, and when I have finished with everything in this life, completed everything I have started, and tidied up all the chaos that surrounds me, and depart in peace (I hope), he will greet me without knowing of the years in between. All our years together will still exist, without a time sequence, and the bad times will be pushed out by all the good ones.

What we need is for the good memories to overcome the bad ones now. People tell me that it gradually becomes so, and the last days are not so uppermost. I hope so.

Play some good music. The kind which has been constructed so as to take you into tears and then draw you up out of them

Avoid Mahler.

Galen I don't think you do get over these things. You learn to live with them, eventually. It's ok to cry now and again. I knowi I'm occasionally overcome by memories of my deceased much love relatives and have a quiet cry. So it must be so very much harder to loose a husband. To be honest I'm filled with admiration for the gransnetters that have lost much loved husbands/partners. The way you all pull yourselves up by your chin straps and carry on living useful ful lives. I bet like you they have times when they feel terrible and cry. I know you'll get up in the morning and brush yourself down. That's how you come across in your posts. Im sending you a (((((hug))) brave lady and hope you feel a little better tommorow. Don't forget to share your birthday with us.

I'm here with hugs too! I have no personal experience of depression but I can tell from your posts how bad you both feel. Like others have said, look for mishaps advice - always so wise and clear and Galen and your pearls are a vital part of a visit to gn.

Please keep talking to us - you know you are both well loved by us all. mishap can you get any practical help to take some of the burden from you and DH?

Galen. A huge hug from me. You will pass through this sadness.

Remembering a loved one and feeling weepy is no bad thing. It means that you have a love that is still with you and is worth remembering. Try to think of all the good times you had together and how he would want you to feel now. I'm sure he would want you to remember the good times and live your life to the full.
Don't beat yourself up about feeling weepy, accept it as part of remembering.
Hugs

Kiora and Kitty have expressed my thoughts exactly. I can only second their posts and send big fat squashy (((hugs))) and hope things are looking better this morning.

Galen, how are you this morning? Sending a hug and hoping that the sun shines for you today.

Galen ((hugs)) for you this morning.
Time is said to be a healer - up to a point.
You learn to live with your grief, but the fact that so much time has passed without the person you loved and still love, is painful in itself.
Big birthdays, new decades, the birth of a grandchild, seem to reinforce this somehow.
"The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you."

I hope you have some sunshine today. xx

galen, hug from one bow-woman to another

Another huge virtual hug from me Galen. Be kind and gentle with yourself

{{Hugs}} and from me too Galen, (and to Mishap and Pompa). I can empathise. I am feeling a bit iffy too. Certain anniversaries on the near horizon. Yesterday I started to sort out my/our books trying to downsize and every single one brought memories flooding back, especially 'his' books - all the sailing and architectural ones. I am making myself go out today with a friend, in the wind and rain, to Glasgow for a visit to the Ubiquitous Chip [indigestion emoticon]. I am told that with time, the pain becomes less - it may do I'm still waiting after nearly 3 years, but it still comes back and hits you in the solar plexus out of the blue doesn't it.

Here's a morning hug for you Galen. I hope you had a restful night.

Morning, Galen I hope your spirits are lifted a bit higher today