chemo

Don't be daft Ethel, if your GP has said you are to make an appointment, then you must make an appointment. If your receptionist is a dragon who doesn't believe you when you say your GP told you to, then sit down and write a letter to your GP, asking him if HE would mind making the appointment, since the receptionist seems unable to.

You are pretty vocal at telling us all about the problem, why not take it to where it belongs - the surgery?

And why not ask your consultant or the lovely nurses at the hospital about your fears? They see people EVERY DAY who are in exactly the same position you are - waiting for treatment and worried stiff. They will spend time with you explaining what will happen, what just MAY happen, and what will NOT happen. They know what the procedure is at the hospital you are attending - which no-one here does, they can only tell you about THEIR experiences.

Now for home truth - Stop suspecting everyone's motives. The doctors will NOT tell you lies, any more than we would - than we already have, several times over. They would be in trouble if they told you lies. ASK and you will get an answer.

Sit down now and write a list of all the things you want to know, and what fears you have. Then lift the phone and ring the contact number you have been given for a cancer nurse who has been assigned to you, to answer just these questions and support you. No, she is not a vulture, there to watch you die, she is an expert in everything that is going on and will help. I know that you will have been given that contact number, because I was, and so was my husband. Other people who have had cancer (and most recovered!) had a named contact too.

And another suggestion - you have had a vast number of posts from good kind people posting helpful and loving replies on here. I do hope that you have thanked them for their support.

Maybe it would help if we all volunteer to dance naked round a tree! - the mind boggles!

Ethel - I do not quite get the fact that your GP has asked for you to make an appointment - how do you know that? Whether he has or not you are entitled to make an appointment - just ring up and do it. No receptionist is allowed to refuse for a patient to make an appointment - this is nonsense. If she says no, then tell her you are going to ring the health ombudsman.

If you know about relaxation - as you clearly do - then just do it!!

Listen carefully ethel - I will say this only once........MacMillan nurses are NOT just there for the terminally ill !!!!!!!! How can we get this through??!!

Pick yourself up and get your sparkle back and fight this thing - and take all the help you can get. And stay away from blooming clairvoyants. Of course she said you are going to die - that is the one prediction that she can be sure of and does not take a clairvoyant to work out - we are all dying for goodness sake! But you have the chance to put that off and get a chunk of good life yet - go for it.

That sounds more like it!

No Im not being silly, Im going to dance round my elder berry tree naked and wave and upside down cross around. Might as well try witchcraft, on the other hand might get pneumonia. OOOh its chilly round the back.........

I'm sorry ethel but now you are just being silly. Of course people are cured of bowel cancer, and so can you be. I am shocked that a clairvoyant told you you had an incurable disease, I thought reputable ones made a point of not giving clients frightening predictions like this.

I've not dealt with Macmillan nurses myself although we have had a lot of help from their benefits people, but I definitely wouldn't see them as a last resort! They are there to help.

Surely you can get an appointment with your doctor at some time even if you have to wait. If not phone him and tell him you are having problems.

When you are on chemo keep a check on your temperature. The hospital may well want you in if it goes over 38 degrees (I think -I'm not very good with centigrade) so do call them - better safe than sorry!

Sorry for nagging but it's far too early to think about giving up. Good luck!

I wish I had your GP'S phone number because that receptionist would be making you an appointment tomorrow! Phone again and try to be assertive but not angry with her if you want to see your GP - insist.

Having treatment will give you the best possible chance of getting better. You have to give yourself that chance.

ethel {{{hug}}

(and I don't often do that! )

I do meditation and healing, I taught relaxation until a few months ago. I have been told I cant see a GP even though mine has asked me to make an appointment with him, the receptionist will not give me an appt.

I am reluctant to see macmillan nurses as I still see them as a last resort.

I just want to see into the future but at the same time I don't as I saw a clairvoyant who told me I had an incurable disease and I would die, this was a few years ago and I felt ok and just laughed about it at the time but now I think it may have been true.

Ethel - you are understandably struggling to stay calm in what is a difficult situation.

It is very hard for you to think straight and some of the things that you are saying arise from that.

If you think that treatment is not for you and you wish to let your illness take its course, you need to discuss that in detail with your doctors, so that you can make a reasoned decision with their help. It would not be a good idea to make such an important decision because you feel frightened - you need to base it on facts.

Your feeling that there is no cure for bowel cancer arises from your current state of mind and not from facts.

I think you should see your GP and explain your fears and your dilemma about treatment. He or she will be able to look at the correspondence from the hospital and advise you and give you the chance to talk it through. He or she might also feel that some treatment for your anxiety might be helpful to get you through this patch. I know that this is what my friend with cancer did and it really has helped her. If you do go to the GP, then when you ask for an appointment it would make sense to ask for a double appointment so that you feel you have space to discuss all the facts.

You might think about some relaxation CDs - learning these techniques gives you a weapon to fight the moments of fear and to bring you some calm.

No-one can say why you have this illness, but I know that when we are ill we all ask "Why me?" and I can understand you feeling that way.

You are clearly a very private person and this illness must feel like a real ordeal for you when all you really want to do is hunker down at home and get on with your life - so it is a bigger hurdle for you than for others. Please do not regard the hospital staff as busybodies - I spent nearly 30 years working in hospitals and I have to tell you that this is not how people think. All we ever wanted was the best for the patient and I know it is the same now.

I think that you need one professional in whom you can place your faith and confidence and who can get to know you and your personality and how this illness is affecting you. It is likely that the best person for that might be a MacMillan nurse, and you can get in touch with them and ask for their help. Please do try to find one person who can guide you through this in a way that suits you.

My OH has Parkinsons and has a specialist nurse who helps him - he too is a private person, but he has found that having a link with one person he trusts has been extremely helpful.

Take a deep breath ethel and give yourself that little push to find your own personal way through this journey that is ahead of you - you can do it.

I am thinking of you and sending all strength and courage.

ethel they are not busybodies at the hospital- as I said before, get a grip.

You're getting in a state again, ethel! Everyone who's been diagnosed with cancer feels like you do, but you will get through the treatment and you will be well again.

You don't have to have anyone to accompany you for treatment if you don't want to, and you don't have to have visitors. You can take control, it's your life and your illness. Keep your pecker up!

Ethelbags1 have you contacted the Macmillan nurses yet.? They are there to offer practical and emotional support to people with cancer. They could be of great help to you.

I live for today and I cant imagine a few months down the line. I wonder how long I would have if I tell them I don't want treatment and just live a normal life as long as poss. I have waited for about 6 weeks now with no treatment, my cancer has spread and I was told I would be having treatment this week. I still have no appointment with anyone. I cant stand being ill and dependant upon anyone, I hate having visitors and I just cant see getting better despite all your well meant comments. Anyway there is no cure for BC, they just talk of remission, I have to suffer all the side effects and it will end up with it coming back. I don't want to talk about this to anyone at the hosp as they are all busybodies and just want to interfere. I might be changing my life, washing dishes, cleaning and depriving myself for nothing. Why me.

ethel you do not need to keep the immersion or whatever you use to heat your water on all day. I wash all dishes in the evening so I may switch on the hot water for 30 minutes and that covers a shower also. There is still sufficient left over for the next day for face washing etc.

Wear plastic gloves by all means but do not forget to wash your hands after you take them off.

Keep a separate pair specifically for when you sort out the litter tray.

Try not to be such a worry guts, I am sure that everything will be fine. You will be given loads of help once you start the treament. Apply common sense to whatever you do. Simples.

Screwfix do big boxes of disposable plastic or vinyl gloves, much cheaper than the supermarket. I use them for dirty jobs, handling meat etc, definitely would use gloves for cat litter. I use stronger gloves for jobs like gardening etc.

You may never get an infection; they may give you a thermometer to keep a check on your temperature. Feeling cold with shivers is a sign of an infection.
They should give you plenty of advice and phone numbers if you are worried.

Hot cooked food should be fine, just be careful of salads etc when you are out as they may not be washed, blue cheese, prawns.

Remember - this is temporary on your road to recovery!

Im really scared, how will I know if im getting a cold or a huge infection. will I be carted off to hospital if I get a bug, I worry about who will look after my cats. Also I panic easily, I think that I have several illnesses in one day now and I haven't started on chemo yet. Im a total hypochondriac.
I have bought gloves for dirty jobs, lots of household cleaning stuff and ive started to wash my kitchen extra but it is such a chore. I never do much housework, I would leave my dishes for 2 days until I had no clean ones then do a massive wash up, also I never shower every day, I just wash in the sink and shower ever other day, cos washing my hair is a hassle. I don't think I can keep to a new clean regime. Also it is very expensive to keep the water heating on all day just for 1 person.

I am feeling really sorry for myself why did this happen to me.

I think all these posts are an inspiration and prove that there most certainly is life after chemo! You're all wonderful!

ethel I just tried to PM you but it says that you are not able to receive PMs???

sherish I have a friend who is going through that - so tough. xxxxx

I have been on oral chemo for twelve months for secondary breast cancer that has gone to my bones and a lung. The side effects are peeling and sore hands and feet which you get cream for and are monitored closely as with all chemo.

I do hope you'll get through it OK. There will be plenty of opportunity to ask questions so you must do that. It puts your mind at rest.

I hope all is well for you.

ethelbags plastic gloves definitely for cleaning the cat litter. My husband has tablets for his cancer and hasn't had many side effects apart from tiredness- and some of that is probably down to the illness. One of my younger friends had bowel cancer in her 20's (for the second time!) and kept working all through her chemo. She had a line into her chest and a pump delivering the chemo. We were working in a cafe so it was all pretty physical but she didn't seem to be too badly affected by it.

I expect you will have a specialist nurse who you can contact with any questions or worries. Keep an eye on your temperature as this will be the first sign of infection. Good Luck !!!

You are a wonderful lot! If they can do it ethel, so can you. You only have one intravenous lot and then just tablets. I am sure you can do it.

oh dear will I have to give up my trips to the coffee shops with DD and DGD and my fish and chips. (sniff)

Just to add praise, once again, for the NHS and the Oncology unit where I was treated. Endless patience and kindness, as ever.

I think there are lots of different treatments so your experience may differ...DH had chemo last year after surgery for bowel cancer. We had to beware of bacteria in every form so cleanliness was paramount and he had to steer clear of eating out and take aways.
The staff were wonderful, so attentive. Do contact them with any and every concern they don't mind.
Take in books, knitting, iPod, whatever you may need during treatments. We were given free sandwiches and hot drinks but preferred to take our own in.
Hope all goes well for you. x

thank you rose, I know to keep away from people with colds etc but I never thought that peeling veg etc would matter. Would cleaning my cat litter matter.