cancer

Try not to worry Ethel. Things always look worse in the early hours. You are not on your own.

I'm sorry to hear you're have a difficult night, Ethelbags. But you're not alone. I'm here sending you positive thoughts and hope that a bright morning brings you some relief. Maybe you could get up now, drink some tea, and rest again later on when it's daytime and everything seems a bit more manageable.

Having nightmares thinking im gonna have complications.wish it was time to get up. 6am not a good time to worry

You're very brave, Ethelbags, and glad it helps to ask about your worries on here.
Like Mishap, I know of someone who had an operation for bowel cancer, and it was successful.
Do you have support from family and friends?
As for those awful night-time worries, I would ask your med. advisors if you can have something to help you sleep - you need rest to stay strong.

I think whitewave is right in that thinking oneself into a place that is after the surgery is a good plan. But not easy to do, I know. I am sure we all understand how hard it is to have something going around in one's head - so hard to make it go away.

As I have said before I have a friend who had her bowel cancer removed and it was a very successful operation.

Do you have a date yet?

ethel keep your eyes focused on when you return home and building up your stamina to if not tree climb (blimey that's a bit ambitious given our age!!!) at least having a giggle with your DGD. Think of the summer and warm balmy evenings. Try and relax and go with the flow.

Im having my tumour removed and nearby lymph glands. Some however they cant remove so I will have to have more dreaded chemo.

Do remember that you are talking to people on here and you don't shake and sweat but there are surprising numbers who are or have been nurses. No difference. When they phone imagine them as a friendly gransnetter who has your best interests at heart. Have they been quite clear on what your op is? If you want to say and please don't think I'm pushing you to say but I wouldn't be surprised if someone has had a similar op. Good wishes.

many of you have suggested music as a help, well I play new age music and chants and I find it does help but thinking about an operation is scaring me witless. Some of you may remember when I had the colonoscopy, I was peeing myself (literally) on the day but it was not too bad but I only have horrific memories of pain and horrible nurses from a previous op. I have to stay in for a week too, I will hate not getting nay fresh air...... it just goes on and on I wish I could wake up and it be all over. the only consolation is that they would not operate if there was no hope at all of at least a decent quality of life. I want to go tree climbing with my little DGD.

thank you sherish,, hope you are ok, my friend has secondary breast cancer came back after 30 odd years and its in her bones and other places, she is very determined and has just had a hip replacement as she was in danger of having a broken hip due to the tumour. She is so positive I just cant believe it.
I just don't like talking to others such as nurses, Im ok talking to gnetters as I can switch off when I like but I hate it when the hospital phones about anything, I shake and sweat as I have this phobia. Ijust want to jump out of my skin and run away sometimes.
I having op in 2weeks so any advice is welcome from anyone.

Ethelbags, I am in a similar place to you in that I have secondary breast cancer that came back after 12 years in my bones and a lung. I have been treated for just over two years now. My oncologist told me first that it is incurable but treatable so in other words they do their best to stabilise it by treatment. I have had many early hours where my head is just spinning with thoughts. I can't say I have any answers for you but I do try to put myself in a positive place and I know that all possible is being done for us. Treatments have come on leaps and bounds in the past few years. McMillan Nurses are very good and give you advice. They also have places that you can go and meet others in the same situation where thay have chats (and lots of laughter I blelieve). It might be worth getting in touch with them.

Good luck Ethbags, I do hope you can find something that gives you more peace of mind.

Nowadays quite a few cancers are being looked at as chronic illnesses that won't go away but can be kept under control with chemotherapy. >y DH is still here 5years after he was told 6 to 12 months. It sounds as if you're a long way from the Last Chance Saloon but I know it is horrible in the small hours when everything gets magnified and the night seems endless. Would talking to a therapist help? They might be able to cope with the worries.

Ethelbags, I find it impossible to know how you can cope, as I cannot imagine myself in your situation. I suffer with depression and often lay awake worrying about things that are in fact trivial, but my mind won't rest. I listen to music on my MP3 player, distracts my thoughts and I usually drop off.

btw I wont wind anyone up on this subject its too serious.

been reading your messages and I am more positive, thought people who have long term chemo were terminally ill and on the verge of dying, my cancer has not spread, as yet to any major organs but may do. I think as yet Im quite lucky compared to some of the examples I am reading about and some people I see in the hospital.
magpie I have colon cancer and sorry about the pun but colon cancer is shit !!!!!!

Sorry to hear about your problems Etheltbags1 I don't know which type of cancer you have but when I had a cancer scare I found www.jostrust.org.uk/forum really helpful, they also have a private forum for advance cancer sufferers, I found it very helpful and comforting to talk to other people with the same problems and fears.

Best wishes

ethelb I have had breast cancer so the treatment may be different but in my case it had spread to the lymph glands in the neck. I had 20 sessions of radiotherapy and that did the trick. A friend of mine had it spread to more of her glands also to her bones. She is on low dose chemo taken orally and has been for some years. She just has a yearly check up and lives a normal life. So don't despair. Perhaps you could ask the oncologist what treatments are available and get as much information as you can. By the way my cancer was 20 years ago. We are all rooting for you.

Looking forward to you winding us all up ethel! - and hope that the next stage of treatment will become clear soon. Good luck.

ethel hang on in there. I have friends living with cancer - for which there is no cure but my best friend who is now in her 7th year with terminal cancer is planning a cruise to the South Sea Islands.

ethel I'm so sorry you have had this news. As others hear have said your oncologist is the best person to advice but I did wonder if there any support groups , perhaps the Macmillan Team could help. Can you give them a call, they have a helpline?

ethelb I have no personal experience but could not just read and go. I find myself up and about most nights and if I have a worry it will be intensified many times in the wee small hours which can feel very lonely.

As others have said - Getting something to help you sleep may get you through the worst of the night. How do you feel about sleeping pills, some folks totally disapprove. Me... I take all the help I can get for sleep.

I am not a religious person but do believe in some sort of karma and positive thinking. My positive hopes for you are winging their way to you.
And I hope that it won't be long until your feisty self is back on the wind up !

thank you all for the messages, have been keeping busy this last week.
the doc has explained that its the lymph glands that are causing concern where the cancer has spread to. Am seeing another doc this week.
Sorry I don't feel like winding anyone up at the minute. but I might soon.
regards to you all

I wish I had an answer for you ethel. Listening to gentle music or natural sounds, as others have suggested, may well help. But yes, you do need to ask for something to help you get through the night. Sending you lots of positive thoughts and hugs - and lots of

ethelt I would definitely ask for something to help you sleep. All those awful fears seem much worse during the night, and you need your rest to enable you to cope during the day.
Keep strong, xx

Ethel I have no knowledge of treatment about cancer, but like OP have said , you sound like you have plenty of fight in you and at the moment you don't feel too bad, I'm sure others can offer more advice than me, but as for the hours when you cannot sleep, then maybe there are others hanging around on GN wanting to pass away a few hours, I myself almost got back up around midnight to switch back on, I prob would have done if I had an ipad sat next to the bed, instead of having to switch laptop back and and wait for that to boot up..maybe you could start an *can't sleep thread" ? may be worth a try, open topics etc.... bfn