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cancer

(312 Posts)
etheltbags1 Tue 28-Apr-15 21:41:14

I have on many occasions asked for advice on these forums but this time it is really serious, my cancer is not responding to chemo and has not been killed in my lymph glands. Any advice how to cope with this situation, I don't feel ill or weak or ready to depart this life and will fight with all guns blazing but what can I say to myself in the small hours when I am scared.

Lona Wed 20-May-15 08:22:00

Good luck Etheltbags I hope it all goes well for you flowers

Judthepud2 Tue 19-May-15 23:51:45

Good luck EthelBags. Thinking of you. flowers

Soutra Tue 19-May-15 23:51:28

Best of luck for tomorrow! I am sure you will have all the pain relief you will need and that all goes smoothly.

whenim64 Tue 19-May-15 23:03:13

Ethel what's the betting you return feeling much tougher and stronger after your hospital stay? You'll see people enduring more than you're going to experience and will soon gets things in perspective. Come back and tell us how brave you've been flowers

rosequartz Tue 19-May-15 22:59:38

All my very best wishes, too, for the operation and for a speedy recovery.

I am very impressed that you use an iphone to post, I have trouble posting on my tab (I like the old pc that has to be cranked up.)

Galen Tue 19-May-15 22:56:34

This is silly!
Those jabs ate not that painful, no matter how sensitive you are!

annodomini Tue 19-May-15 22:56:22

I'm sure you'll have morphine post-op to get you over the immediate after-effects. I have never heard of pain relief for an anti-coagulant jab.

merlotgran Tue 19-May-15 22:48:18

Sending you all my best wishes, ethel

Ana Tue 19-May-15 22:40:08

ethel, you'll be fine! smile

Hope to hear from you very soon.

etheltbags1 Tue 19-May-15 22:34:28

My op is tomorrow afternoon !!!!!
I had the anticoagulant jab today and it was so painful I cried, there was no offer of pain relief and it hurt for 30 minutes. My pain threshold is very low I cry if I prick my finger with a sewing needle. If this is only the first part of the treatment I shudder to think what the rest will be like.
I will not be posting till I get home as my iphone is staying at home in case it gets stolen , Im taking a dinosaur with me just for text and calls.

Falconbird Tue 19-May-15 11:01:33

District nurses are the best. smile smile

When my mum was suffering from Dementia and I was struggling to cope, my cousin who was a retired Health Visitor (sadly passed away) advised me to ask my GP if a District Nurse could visit mum in her flat.

He resisted saying that mum could be dealt with through care in the community but eventually agreed.

I made sure I was there when the nurse called and she was wonderful. Within days mum was admitted to hospital and subsequently to a Home where she settled in quite quickly and was well looked after.

Heaven knows what would have happened without the District Nurse because I was heading for complete carer burnout.

Soutra Mon 18-May-15 22:36:52

It is 10.30 pm and DH who was discharged from hospital this evening is having his "bedtime" IV antibiotic from 2 lovely nurses. Intrusive? Nosey? No way! The fact that a service like this can be provided (3x a day) has meant that he can free up a hospital bed, coming home with a cannula which will also be checked on each visit.
It is quite probable that we are not their last call of the night, but I for one was happy to see them and am full of admiration.
Don't knock district or visiting nurses, ethel if you are lucky enough to get them.
Good luck with the op!flowers

Deedaa Mon 18-May-15 22:08:17

After my knees were done there was just a quick chat with an occupational therapist about how I would cope at home and I was given a frame with arms to go round the loo so I could sit down and get up easily. The only district nurse who ha shown any interest in our home was a friend of mine.

On one occasion when DH needed a blood test and was too ill to get out of bed I had a lot of trouble getting a nurse to come and do it, so I don't think they'll be outstaying their welcome!

Galen Mon 18-May-15 19:35:54

Ps
How many plillows you use can be an indicator of breathing problems!

Galen Mon 18-May-15 19:35:04

I took my own stitches out!
I'd have been grateful if they'd assessed how much help I'd need before throwing me out of hospital when I dislocated my shoulder. As it was I had to book myself in to a nursing home for a few days.
Just be grateful for the attention you're getting.

loopylou Mon 18-May-15 17:04:23

Spying is, I can assure you as a former District Nurse, the very last thing we did!
And despite some houses being indescribably dismal, I only once suggested to a patient that they might like to talk to someone-there was no electricity, water or toilet facilities, full of rats and cockroaches and the floorboards throughout had rotted through, so definitely a safety issue for patient and visitors.
Discharge planning does include asks how you think you will cope at home so you may like to think about how you'll get shopping, do laundry, change bed linen etc. and who you might ask to help (family, friends?)
None of this is 'being nosey ', just plain common sense to make sure you'll be safe at home.

Like Charleygirl I had a massively pinned/plated ankle with t'other cracked and was sent home with a frame and crutches. Luckily DH was around before and after work but I still had to work most things out for myself including getting up and downstairs on my bum! This went on for nearly 5 month hmm.

Good luck ethel, start thinking about how you'll do things when you get home and make some plans! You will be fine I'm sure smile

Elegran Mon 18-May-15 15:51:49

As my granny would have said - "What makes you think that YOU are so interesting to them? You are not at the centre of their world" They have hundreds of patients, many of them with far worse problems than yours, who need a lot more of their attention. Concentrate on getting ready for your spell in hospital and recovering from the surgery, don't waste your time and energy worrying about what will probably never happen.

annodomini Mon 18-May-15 15:39:40

After the hip replacement the district nurse came to give me anti-coagulant jabs in my stomach. Nice to see a friendly face and certainly not a nosy one. If there was a sign of infection, for example, I'd have been pleased for her to report back to the doctor. After the shoulder replacement, Social Services came in to see if I needed help/support, but when I discovered how much they were charging, I said 'No thanks' and took on a cleaning agency weekly until I was able to wield the vacuum myself.
Believe me, ethelt, nobody is spying on you - they have neither the time nor the inclination to do anything of the kind. They only have your best interests in mind.

jeanie99 Mon 18-May-15 15:08:59

It's impossible to know how one would feel in you situation but getting the best advice you can from your consultants so you can make an informed decision is the best way to go for starters.

Thinking positive and getting on with life away from the illness if you can, keep a journal, keep busy.

Life can be short and we have the make the most of every precious day we have.
flowers

Ana Mon 18-May-15 15:07:58

No one came to my house after my two breast ops. I changed my own drain bags after the second one so that I could come home earlier, and just had an outpatient's appointment for wound-checking etc.

I think you may well be worrying unnecessarily, ethel.

Charleygirl Mon 18-May-15 13:17:04

ethel I would have given anything for a nurse to visit after my discharge following my ankle pinned and plated. I was using a zimmer frame because the operated leg was non weight bearing. I could not cope so a friend stayed for 5 weeks.

After my knee replacement, I had to do things differently- having meals and coffee in my kitchen because I was using crutches so could not carry much.

I am sure, in your own way, you will cope.

rosequartz Mon 18-May-15 12:43:31

Sorry but I cant accept that sort of behaviour which seems to be encouraged nowadays. I much prefer the old way of respect on both sides. am I the only one to think this

No, you're not the only one ethel.
I must say the nurses in hospital asked if they could call me by my christian name and told me theirs which seemed friendly but they were still professional.
However, I do remember one man complaining that, as the nurses tended to him, they chatted over the top of his head about their drunken antics the night before. He was their local MP.

I don't think the district nurse (if that is who comes in afterwards) will be nosing around to report back to the doctor. The doctor probably couldn't care less what sort of state or otherwise your house is in, as long as he/she can get through the front door if they need to. If the nurse is calling in afterwards it will just be for medical reasons I would think, eg if you have to have drain bags they will need to be changed, to check your wound is healing nicely etc.

Mishap Mon 18-May-15 12:32:51

Play it by ear ethel - you do not know how you might feel after the op - you might be glad of the help. Nurses being friendly does not make them disrespectful - and it is normal practice now, both in hospital and out, for the nurse to ask you how you wish to be addressed.

I am sure that both doctors and nurses let their hair down when they are off duty and we should not begrudge them that.

I remember that you were very anxious indeed about your colonoscopy and whether that might hurt etc., but when it came to it you sailed through it. It may be that your current anxieties will be equally unfounded.

annsixty Mon 18-May-15 11:20:20

ethel I wish you would start to see your glass half full instead of half empty all the time. Just accept the help you yourself want and politely refuse any you don't. All everyone is doing is to make you well.

Best wishes for your operation.

Elegran Mon 18-May-15 10:51:11

I was told by a district nurse who did a lot of visiting housebound peoiple that the cleanliness of the house was nothing to do with them unless it was so filthy that the patient was in danger. As long as she could wash her hands before starting a treatment she ignored it.

If you can obviously cope on your own you will be allowed to - they have enough to do with those who really neeed the help to press it on those who don't.

The surgery will not leave you incapacitated, though you will probably have dressings to be changed and/or stitches to come out - taking out stitches is NOT something to tackle on your own.

I am sure you will tell the hospital that you will manage.