Dementia

So did I, kitty. Obviously not in her case.

I thought the idea of memantine was that the patient didn't need drugs like Temazepam.

That is sad dj perhaps the care home haven't enough staff to give her the attention she needs. In hospital I assume she will be in a ward with staff present all the time. It certainly isn't a situation any of us envisage for the end of our life.

If they are five mg tablets, she started on 7.5 and is now on 30mg.
I only find out anything when discussing her behaviour with one of the staff. She has two sons who have power of attorney and have contact with the doctors.
I mentioned side effects to the staff member last Wednesday when I was there, wondering if that was why she had been scratching so much.
I left because she told me I had to go because I was arguing with the man behind me; there were no men in the room, and there was nobody behind me. The staff laugh at the hallucinations, but it could be side effects of the Memantine and Temazepam.
If she carries on like she is, she is going to be put into a closed ward in a hospital, because they cannot cope with her in the home. It might have happened already. She's less than five feet tall, weighs less than eight stone and cannot walk. How can they not cope?

Memantine is the only thing my DH hasn't had side effects from and he seems fine at the present. I don't understand the dose you take about dj ,he was on 5mgs daily for a week, then 10 then 15 then 20 for a week each and now 20mgs daily for the foreseeable future. That seems to be standard, you should be checking with the staff.

That's what my mother in law has been put on, kitty. She started on 1.5 a day, and is now on six!
When I read the side effects she has them all. Last week when I went to see her, she was itching and scratching all over. She had bandages on both legs and one arm because her skin is so thin and she scratches when it itches. She was also having hallucinations, which is probably because they gave her Temazepam as well when she gets violent. That's another side effect of memantine.
You can't ask someone with dementia about side effects, but they should be looking for them.

I'm sure he did make the right decision Judthepud. I've told the home and the Dr that I want my husband to go peacefully and to be made comfortable.

Kittylester I remember my husband plateuad a few times over the last few years. It seems to be what happens. Then you get a horrible shock when they dip again.

My mum also has COPD and spent last Christmas in hospital. We all thought it was the end but she is back to 'normal' now. Since she has been on memantine her dementia seems to have plateaud!

DH quite often has calls from family members asking him to see a patient who isn't eating but lots of times, rather than having poorly fitting teeth, he is convinced they have subconsciously decided it's time to go and have stopped eating.

It was the swallow reflex going that led to my MIL's death after about 11 years of dementia and Parkinson's. She was at home being looked after by FIL. The district nurse wanted to take her into hospital to put her on a drip to rehydrate her but FIL refused. I think he made the right decision for her, and for him. She died peacefully a few days later.

I seem to remember being told that they used to call pneumonia the old people's friend.

That's so sad annsixty. I do worry about feeding my husband in case that happens. Quite a few of the residents cough and splutter at mealtimes. I wouldn't be surprised if that hasn't happened to some there.

My friends H developed the swallowing problem quite early on after his diagnosis and was already in a Care home for other disabilities . One day a member of staff was persuading him to eat a yoghurt and he choked and it went into his lungs and he developed pneumonia. Poor chap had so many problems that the medical staff and his family made the decision not to treat him and he died peacefully.

I forgot to add that too ninathenana. My husband is on pureed food and stage 2 thickened drinks. He's not struggling with that yet but I know that will come.
I'm pleased she had a peaceful end. It's what we all hope for isn't it.

I forgot to add that the swallow reflex is often affected with dementia suffers. Some have to have sloppy food and others like mum, struggle with even that.

My mum had told her carers on more than one occasion that she wanted to die.
She was bedridden and barely conscious for the last few days, and hadn't had anything past her lips apart from a few sips of water for several days. Doctor and carers all said they didn't know how she was holding on. The last time I saw her I held her hand and told her it was ok not to fight anymore and to just let go. She died 9 hrs later.

Oh Jen I am so sorry. That must be awful to hear . One of my friends mothers - she died about a year ago - kept saying "Just let me go, Just let me go" - heartrending.

Thank you for copying that article Minder, like everyone I have wondered. My mother was diagnosed three years ago and I reckon she was suffering (how I wish I had realised) for about two years before that. She will be 95 in three months time so - I know it sounds awful - but hopefully her body will not outlive her brain.

My mother-in-law had a bleed on the brain at Easter over a year ago. We noticed when we went to visit her in a home where she had gone to see if she wanted to stay in a home. We noticed she was saying strange things, and falling asleep. She went into the hospital, then fell into a coma for five weeks.
She has had dementia ever since. I visited her today, and left after she shouted at me to go because I was arguing with the man behind me. There were no men in the room.
However, four times she said," Please God, take me."
Sometimes we wish we hadn't noticed her strange behaviour last year, and she had gone to sleep and not woken up.

Thank you minder. You have actually set my mind at rest.

Not at all for me personally Grannyknot. This may help......

What is likely to cause the person's eventual death?

The life expectancy of a person with dementia is unpredictable, and the disease can progress for up to around 10 years. It is estimated that a third of people with dementia at any one time will be in the later stages of the disease. Although dementia is a life-shortening illness, another condition or illness (such as pneumonia - an infection in the lung) may actually cause a person's death. This other condition or illness will most likely be listed as the cause on the person's death certificate. Pneumonia is listed as the ultimate cause of death in up to two-thirds of people with dementia.

The person's ability to cope with infections and other physical problems will be impaired due to the progression of the disease, and the person may die because of a clot on the lung or a heart attack. However, in some people no specific cause of death is found, other than dementia. If the person is over 70, ageing may also be given as a contributing factor. Alternatively, the death of a person with dementia could be caused by a condition that is completely unrelated to their dementia.

Depending on the circumstances and the practices of the doctor, dementia may be entered on the death certificate as the sole or main cause of death, or as a contributing factor. If it has not been mentioned, you can ask the doctor to include it if you wish.

absent I'm sorry to read that too.

When I can be objective, I wonder - what is it that eventually causes the death of someone who is physically so strong, yet has Alzheimer's? Do they develop respiratory problems from being bed-ridden? Does the disease affect their brain?

I see nina says her mum just stopped eating and drinking.

Sorry if me being objective is distressing, but sometimes I can't help wondering about it.

for everyone dealing with it.

Mum had mixed dementia. She died 18mths ago. We consider her and ourselves lucky that she only had symptoms for about 3 yrs. She already had mobility problems when she was diagnosed so no wandering or lots of other problems carers have to cope with. She spent the last 9 mths of her life on a care home. She died because she just stopped eating and drinking.
Yes I do think about whether I will suffer myself, but as another poster said "if it's going to happen it will" so I try not to worry every time I can't remember someone's name for instance.

Rubylady, Fortunately, no-one on my side of our family has ever had dementia but my husband has two daughters and we talked about the possibility of them getting it quite a long time ago now. They were in their early 30's then. They decided that 'if you're going to get it, you'll get it, why worry about it or try to find out if you have the gene'.

Grannyknot, it's amazing how they keep going isn't it. They must have strong hearts. Steve has had it for 15 years now. I have to say, I do wonder how long he will carry on and I agree with what you said, I often wish he would die too because he is imprisoned. I've lost count of the residents in his home who have died since he's been there and a couple who were younger than him.

Absent, I'm so sorry your Mum didn't go peacefully in your home.

X

GrannyknotI understand how you feel. Towards the end of my mother's life, when she was still living in my house, I would say to her each night as I settled her in bed, "Goodnight, God bless, sleep well, see you in the morning," and every night I came as close to praying as I ever will that I would see her in the morning but she wouldn't see me. I truly wanted her to die peacefully in the place she had come to call home surrounded by people and pets who loved her and whom she loved. Sadly for me – and her – that wasn't how it was.

I forgot to add, unresponsive apart from when she eats! Much the same as described by Minder.

minder and others, you may have seen my earlier post on this thread, my MIL has had Alzheimer's for 20 years now, since she was 66. She has been "unavailable" to us for at least 10 of those years. Prior to that she was confused and no longer capable of functioning properly. Physically she is as strong as an ox, the doctors joke and say it is her Scottish constitution. Recently a doctor said she was the longest living Alzheimer's patient he had ever come across. She is now completely unresponsive and in a wheelchair or in bed.

I often wish she would die, because to me it is as if she is imprisoned.