Peri-menopause anyone?

Hi im 48 years old and seem to have every symptom going from anxiety, spotting between periods, sleep deprivation, very emotional, feeling empty, stress and aches and stiff joints, have a doctors appt today but very worried it could be something else. I dont want to go on hrt but do u think this is what perimenopausal symptoms are?

Grandmapat Thank you for your message. I feel for you, you must have felt awful in church but it couldn't be helped, what are we supposed to do? Stay in all the time? I've not been out since a weel last Saturday apart from doctors. What has your doctor said yours is? I've got more tablets to stem the bleed if it happens again next month. Just eating cake, I've heard that it helps restoring iron levels.

rubylady going through same thing none stop for 18/21 days at a time clots wearing 2 night time pads and having to change after 30 mins as flooded. Church ws the worst where covered the pew seat and had toleave after 20 mins to change which was so embarrassing (another lady sorted the pew bless her and checked I was ok) My doctor and practice nurse have been brilliant I have had blood tests ultra sounds (external and internal) and xrays to make sure nothing is wrong . They tried putting me on a pill to stop the bleeding that didnt work so 3 days ago I have had a minerva coil fitted heres hoping it works! I am feeling positive about it as it cant go on forever and will hopefully work so I can have a life again, meet friend, not feel so exhausted and be generally in a better place health wise. You have my sympathies just keep on at your GP and they should help

Good for you, ruby

I have ME and am unable to put a meal together for weeks at a time. The only way round it (I live alone) is to try & make sure I have stuff that doesn't need cooking - or can just be microwaved - and am now the world authority on one-pot meals!

I shan't bore you with the details, just waving a few pom-poms for you, and hoping to reassure that lots of people don't "cook properly" for various reasons. A slow cooker can be a godsend - chuck everything in regardless, turn on and go back to bed

I'm having to restrain myself from commenting that you live with two adults who should be taking better care of you! While you're probably too wiped out to give them the much-needed boot up the arse, is there someone else who can do it on your behalf?

Well done on the red meat. It will get into your system quicker than the supplement (you need both, of course.) Keep it up! And be kind to yourself, please.

Well, just ordered some steak and lamb for tomorrow, along with paper plates and plastic forks. If no one will help me out then I'll make it as easy as possible for the next few days for myself. Can't manage anything on the topless waiter just yet. But I did pay for my son's travel to his first festival next month so six glorious days peace and quiet there.

Thanks jing that cheered me up no end. Months? Not in a good place at all tonight. I do try not to give in to feeling rubbish but it's got me tonight.

If I have to eat well and can't manage to cook for myself, I need a topless waiter to come along and look after me. (Sorry, just trying to lighten my load.) And someone to clean up a bit and someone to take my wonderful darling son away for a week to give me a well deserved break from the little rugrat!

I think it takes months for supplements to kick in, but so long as you rest and eat well for now, you will most likely to pick up again soon.

Got my iron tablets but feel utterly wiped out. I've just ordered a pizza because I can't manage to cook tonight and his royal highness is far too busy doing something for his friend to attend to any of my needs, so pizza it is.

Anyone know how long it will take until the iron tablets will make me feel less like a bag of wet washing?

Bless you Rubylady Take it easy and have a good rest. This will all pass you know. Keep that thought in mind when things are awful

Thanks ladies. I will chat more in a day or two but I have no energy at present. I am going to get to bed now and go to an emergency appointment in the morning for some iron tablets. I can't even get to the kettle without feeling wiped out. I don't know why the doc in a and e didn't prescribe me with any while I was there. Anyway, see you all soon. Take good care of yourselves.

Hi, I would just like to share that my little miracle when I was going through the menopause was Wild Yam Root! I had most of the symptoms mentioned in this thread including headaches, flooding, irregularity, hot flushes etc etc but after starting taking Wild Yam Root they all cleared up! Amazing! Apparently it works as a natural hormone replacement and can also ease menstrual symptoms as well as menopausal (I wish I had known this years ago!)and if you are able to take it I would wholeheartedly recommend giving it a go! I know it won't suit everybody but what have you got to lose?! Good luck!

I'm also on your biopsy thread, ruby. I'm sorry, you must be feeling truly grim. One potential problem ruled out; a few more to go!

I don't think you'd be retaining blood - it can happen, but is very unusual. Now you're in expert hands, anything weird will be picked up. Cramps suggest you may be in for more bleeding (oh, joy.) When's your next scan/inspection?

I have PCOS and have been putting on a good impression of a WW1 battlefield every six weeks or so for most of my life. Mefanamic/tranexamic acid did help somewhat, but never got me anywhere near 'normal'. I'm not technically through the menopause yet (my mum's lasted 12 years!) and, despite HRT, still have occasional hormone surges with associated flooding. Once or twice a year, though, rather than half my soddin' life.

Iron & folate replacement are very important due to the blood loss. You could also try a B supplement that provides choline, inositol and biotin in large quantities - most supplements will also fulfil your requirements for folate & the other B vits. Inositol and biotin can act as hormone regulators in certain conditions, and you need the choline to balance it. Biotin's good for skin, hair and possibly* for cell strength in general.

Have and for your iron! Oh, and why not?

*I'm not a fan of non-medical health advice, so 'possibly' means I'd discount that part ... but it won't harm you. Excess B vitamins are excreted

The bleeding has stopped, but if there was blood still to come away, where does it go if it just stops? Sorry for being gory but I wanted to know. I do have bad period pains and lower back ache. I feel weak and exhausted.

When I started the menopause I got myself down to the surgery and on the HRT. The risks are there but are not huge and recent news articles have stressed that you can live quite safely on it for years. You need to inform yourself of the benefits and the risks and decide for yourself.

The benefits are: instant cessation of flushes, bleeds and other symptoms, weight and figure control, hair in reasonable condition (albeit greying), no 'ups and downs' in mood, generally excellent health. I have never felt healthier or happier. When I did my fifty year health check I came out top for everything and when I did the recent new NHS health check I got 10/10. I do eat sensibly, exercise and eschew smoking and excessive drinking, however.

Apparently, when you have been on the normal HRT dose for a while you can have a step-down dose for longer.

Ruby, that sounds terrifying! Hearty congrats on dealing with it reasonably calmly - your head must have been spinning!

Very interesting posts about the Mirena. I'm on chemical HRT and have no intention of coming off it ever, but I'll do a bit of research on the Mirena coil in menopause and see whether it's worth hassling my doctor.

Menopause is one of the last big secrets, isn't it?! Even our mums & aunties glossed over it - hardly surprising that its many disturbing symptoms can be so confusing, as nobody told us! I do tend to think that, if men had a menopause, there'd be widespread knowledge and a whole lot more sympathy

I second chasing the medics for more info, Ruby, particularly if anything so dramatic happens again. Women are often told "It's your age" quite dismissively, and it can take some belligerence persistence to be taken seriously.

Hope the iron supports a rapid return to feeling healthy.

Thanks girls, I appreciate it. I will ask the doctor about the coil. I really don't want this to happen again, it's awful. I need to sleep but feel I'm going to make a mess even though I have got huge pads. I might set my alarm just for a couple of hours and then get up and change and try again. I'm so glad of people on here, I would feel so alone without your help. You all get me through. Xxx

ruby I can't recommend enough the mirena coil.
It was a life savior for me.
Without it I would at times have been house bound due to severe bleeding and clots.
Itchy legs drove me mad (still do). So I use piriton at night which also helps with my on going sleep problems.
Barrier cream also helps with the shower drying out my skin.

Rubylady please take care of yourself, I so hope the doctors can give more help. I hate this menopause but count myself lucky now, I haven't had the bleeding problems as I had a hysterectomy

Thanks to everyone for your comments and support once again. I do feel I have done nothing but come on here this year to get help with one problem or another. I was sitting on the toilet yesterday, crying and shouting out when is it all going to stop? I was on my own at the time.

I've took the tablets given to me but the flow has not stopped a great deal and the clots are still coming away. The doctor did say it would take a couple of days for them to work properly though. I've hardly slept so feel shattered. Son still being an arse. He has booked his accommodation at University for 40 weeks so that he could have come home in the summer next year. I phoned the uni today and asked them if he could stay for the summer and he can, so he can do this instead. I can't live like this anymore, with someone there but not, if you know what I mean. I'm better alone really. Besides, with my health problems, I might need to move into a flat or bungalow to avoid the stairs in the future so I cannot really guarantee his room to be available all year. I might have to pay bedroom tax again until I move, but I'll deal with that.

I'm so glad my doggie is here. She has given me lots of cuddles today. I have also had support from the chemist who flew out some giant pads for me , have been texting a good friend for support, and have just remembered not to take my asprin tablet when it is sat in a glass waiting. It is amazing who is there for you when the chips are down compared to who should be there for you. My neighbour turning back yesterday from going to the seaside just to take care of me really was so kind of her, especially since we haven't even shared a cup of coffee yet! What a performance, seeing me, in my nightie, bare legs, bum probably hanging out, sat on the toilet, not being able to move and up to then all we had done was exchange pleasantries! Oh well, we're best mates now! And she brought me her DGD's nappy to use! The shame.

I am going seeing the doctor on Saturday (I know, they are doing weekend surgeries now), so will discuss all the things mentioned above then. I will write a list, thank you all.

Will this happen again?

I do wish that it was discussed more, either in schools or in life because I have had no idea apart from on here or the internet what would happen. I was going to go through the menopause, I haven't used the Pythagorus theorum ever! Or needed to recite Shakespeare. All very lovely, but life lessons would certainly help.

The doctor asked when my mum had gone through hers but, as she was an alcoholic and was unstable most days, I have no idea.

I was also asked if I could be pregnant! Not unless an angel has appeared at my window in the last month, no. I have not laid hands on a man for the last 10 years so that would have been a miracle but I know he had to check.

I hope I can get some sleep and that it starts to ease a bit. It's awful that we have to go through this step in life so messily, what with the other symptoms some of you have said. I wish all of you well, take care of yourselves, thanks again. lots of love. Xxx

I had a hysterectomy when I was 38 for fibroids and massive bleeding . The Mirena hadn't been invented then ! It was the best thing I ever did .The bleeding was completely uncontrollable and I remember having 3 out of four weeks where I couldn't go anywhere without extra supplies of tampons, pads and knickers stashed in my bag and some days I just couldn't go out ..The menopause symptoms started when I was around 45 , obviously no heavy bleeding ,but the sweats ! Day and night all the time .I used to arrive at work looking as if I had just stepped out of the shower fully clothed ! I found the following really helpful :
.Ditch the duvet and go back to cotton sheets and cotton blankets . You can fling them on and off all night. Ditto for layers of cotton clothes . Keep well hydrated with cool water. Avoid booze.?. Coffee and tea made it worse too.
I did take HRT for about 5 years but as others have said it is just delaying the inevitable .I found red clover and black kohash good once I stopped HRT and I increased my soya intake a lot. But it was awful for a good couple of years. Now at the other end at 66 years I now have vaginal atrophy ,dry itchy skin and thinning hair , but at least I still have my own (heavily filled )teeth !

I'm approaching my 70th birthday in a few weeks time and I'm still having hot flushes/night and day sweats!! I took HRT when I was going through the menopause and stopped them several years ago on medical advice. Seems as if the symptoms have come back with a vengeance! My GP has prescribed anti-depressants which have helped with the sweats, though not got rid of them completely and I'm certainly feeling a nicer person because of them! The alternative was HRT, but I really couldn't face the thought of having a bleed every month, so said I'd try the anti-depressants to see if the worked.
Best to go and chat to a doctor if you're worried about anything though. I'd never have believed Anti-depressants could help with hot flushes and sweating!!

Gosh, some of you have had a terrible time. i count my blessings. Had an anaemic time towards the end of my period life as they became really heavy then stopped - luckily as the mood swings were becoming noticable. No flushes but 2 years after they stopped i now have 'vaginal atrophy ' yay! thankfully my gynae is very sympathic and the cream should kick in soon. I think any problem should be seen by the GP, why suffer when you dont have to. My nickname should be hypochondriac possibly!

I agree with lizzypopbottle see a doctor, I had Fibroids and Endometriosis and had a terrible time with heavy periods and anemia. Eventually I had a hysterectomy and now I feel wonderful. No pain no blood no anemia. I do take a little pill called Tibolone to help with hot flushes and sleeplessness. My moods are now constant, no ups and downs. Life is good. My mother had a much better time, so we can't always go by our mothers.

I had a total hysterectomy in 1996 aged 44. I was out straight on HRT and have been after having dreadful periods all my life, it 19yrs until last year when I needed a knee replacement and had to stop taking it before surgery. It's now 14 mths without it ( as I'm waiting for more surgery) and I'm still getting hot flushes evsry day and have a permanent night sweat every night !!!! I've found that HRT has just delayed the inevitable which is now claiming me with a vengeance!!, ID love to go back on it but know if Dr takes me off it which is inevitable in the end I will go through all this all over again

Also wished to say many people make the " Menopause Cake" there are recipes on line and this helped many through this challenging time of change.

There are also some good u tube lectures by eminent Gynaecologists who do explain it very well.

You can feel like you are going mad at times says one of them.. which I can say I have felt at times...rather like a moody teenage girl whose hormones are going into overdrive etc.

I found that taking the anti histamine Piriton at night helped with my poor sleep and the hot flushes. My understanding is that the hot flushes are caused by a sudden release of Histamine in the body but what triggers this I am not sure, maybe the imbalance of hormones and rapid swings in the progesterone and oestrogen that happens affects areas in the brain that start to release other chemicals etc.

The body will always try to balance itself which is what good health feels like , in balance and we can assist this with diets , exercise, relaxation...yoga and tai chi can help a lot to rebalance all the hormones and never forget the body is connected by a lot of different chemical processes which we are not aware of and the whole will always be affected by its parts.

A holistic approach to health is usually a good way to go,, western medicine and alternative medicine in combination may be helpful.

Tibetan medicine can be very gentle but powerful in treating womens health problems.

Cool flannels and fans can help at night and cool packs.

Hope this helps