Getting older

[marmight] wow your aunt is an example to us all. If thought my aunts were good but she is certainly fantastic. I agree I would not want to know what the future holds, DH and I try to enjoy our time together as much as we can.

My first encounter with advancing years was when my first grandchild was born. I was only 61 so thought I would be the same as when I was in my twenties and early thirties with my own three children.

Soon found out that my body had stiffened up my back hurt and I just wasn't as nimble or flexible.

My mind had changed a nappy with ease but my body was still lagging behind fumbling about trying to do it.

Bit stiffer now 8 years on but no real change except now my brain isn't as nimble.

Annsixty I will try to embrace old age but wasn't it Betty Davies who said "old age ain't for sissies."

I have watched your film Seasidesu it was as you say inspirational. Congratulations on it, what an achievement. I loved Beryl's advice, don't get the doldrums and sit in a chair, I'm going to take it up asap.
for you and your inspiring women.

You don't need courage Falcon it creeps up on you and you deal with it.
That's all there is to it. I have been fortunate to have good health all my life. I have a few blips now with a wonky knee and a problem with my eye but I do the same, I deal with it. Best wishes to all who dread old age, you truly will just cope. Don't dread it embrace it.

My Aunt has just had a 2 week trial in a nursing home. She discharged herself on Monday deciding it was not for her. She said that after seeing 'all the other poor souls' mostly in their 80's, in the home that she felt grateful to be so relatively healthy and, unlike most of them, in possession of her faculties and that she would see out her days in her own home. She will be 101 in August. She has outlived all her friends and family of her generation and would prefer not to be here any more. That said, she is a whizz at Scrabble and polishes off the Telegraph crossword each morning and just gets on with it....
We are all different and we should cherish what we have and live in the now. I had hoped to live out the rest of my life with my DH but I lost him to a massive heart attack 4 years ago when I was 63; so much for plans eh! Life ain't fair. Why should my Aunt live to such a great age, and my DH not? It's fate, it's what life deals us and worrying about what, where and how is a waste of time. If we new what the future held we probably wouldn't get out of bed in the morning

I'm only 68 so I don't yet know what being old is like, but my hips, knees and ankles keep implying they've aged a lot quicker than the rest of me. Especially when trying to get downstairs first thing in the mornings. And my skin is getting decidedly saggy - especially on my hands. And my memory is going AWOL more and more often. But I certainly don't feel Old. I tried to run after a ball the other day and was surprised when found I couldn't. My body is aging before me.

Now off to find your film Seesidesu.

My husband and me (I know it should be my husband and I but it sounds too regal) had made a pledge to look after each other into our old age. He died aged 67 4 years ago and left me on my own.

I'm 70 this year and for the first time I can feel old age creeping on. I've recently had a clean bill of health from the doc which was a relief but facing old age on my own is a daunting prospect.

I keep busy volunteering, I've joined groups and do babysitting for my grandchildren.

Older women (late 70s and 80s) are an inspiration to me, but I'm not sure I have their courage. A friend used to say "what can't be cured must be endured," and life now is often an endurance test with episodes of happiness, it's a different sort of happiness of course.

I have been feeling the same way about ageing. Then I was inspired by my neighbour & decided to make a film about this very subject. I got together 6 local woman in their 80's-90's whom I felt inspired by, to talk about this very issue. You can watch the film on You Tube it's called 'Extraordinary Times' I made it when I was in my late 60's . I had never made a film before. So just doing something like this was amazing & I got so much from it. Hope if you watch it you will too.

My advice may be simplistic but I think it's good all the same. In the words of the old testament, "If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out!" In other words, don't watch depressing TV shows! It's incredible what comes into the corner of our living rooms in the name of entertainment! If you have satellite or cable, find something light to watch. Read a book. Listen to music. Chat with family and friends. Drop the friends who can only report bad news. Go for a stroll. Get a dog. They are so loving and in the moment. Do cheerful things and think cheerful thoughts.

Bluefuschia. I believe it's gardening that keeps your Mum going. We are always planning and looking forward to "next year"

I'm 35 in my head - although the body is aching a little more than it used to !
It's inspirational reading these posts and how everyone in general seems to be living a good life.
I think it can be daunting that maybe your nearer to the end of your life and we all have been through so many experiences but those experiences have shaped how we move forward.
Moment by moment and live your life is indeed my motto.

On my fathers side he had 4 sisters, one died early from cancer but the others lived into their 90's. The two that were closest to me were absolutely lovely ladies, one stayed single and the other married in her 40's. The last one died at 98 and on her certificate her cause of death was "old age". Until two weeks before she died she was knitting bed socks for "old ladies " They were active until just before their end and had all,their mental facilities..I hope I have inherited these genes. DH and I are both very active, walk a lot, have hobbies and have reasonable health, and have lovely caring families. I hope I can accept the future that is ahead for us, but I will certainly not give up, will "fight to,the end"

It would be very comforting to know that an easy suicide could be an option if life became unbearable. This spring I saw the daffodils come up, last a good long time, and finally waste away and die and I realised that there's no difference in the long run between them and me, except that they cannot feel the sadness of fading and finally the possible pain and indignity in dying.

I don't believe in a life hereafter and a supernatural being who needs constant praise and thanking. I just feel life is wonderful, I'm glad to have it and I would rather remove myself from it than spoil my experience of it, and my family's memory of me, if finally my end is too degraded. I just hope I shall be one of the lucky ones and die in my sleep. Meanwhile I intend to love what is still good about life. I'm almost 80, by the way, in case my attitude strikes anyone as too depressing.

Thank you, I will do that and put my mind at rest, I am sure thats the best thing for all of us.

What a splendid thread! My Mum is 87 independent, active and very keen gardener despite various medical problems. She has a real positive outlook on life and I'm sure that is what keeps her going.

I'm not scared of growing old. I've always promised myself that if things become too hard and stop enjoying life I will kill myself. For me, suicide with a clear mind is a positive decision. I hope it's a long way away - and I am scared about leaving it too late - unless of course Doctors are allowed to help by then.

Keep up the positive thoughts guys :-)

Attitude is what counts. My father always said 'What's for you won't go past you' and I've always lived by that code. It means that worrying about what you cannot control is pointless. Make the best of every day, have a bit of a moan when you need to but try to remain positive for yourself and those around you. We have to show the younger generations that we have done our best, although they won't always agree and who can blame them looking at the state we are in at the moment. But this too shall pass. DH. and I have planned for next year already and we fill the calendar with as much as we can. Painting the outside walls and windows is next on the agenda then off to Scotland for a family wedding - kilts to be worn - and we'll keep going as long as we can. I know we're lucky, but I have two artificial hips, arthritis and am constantly on a diet. DH has prostate cancer, not too advanced luckily, but we refuse to let these minor details stop us enjoying what time we have left. We will stay where we are as long as possible and our DC fully support us about the future whatever it may be.

I am only 60 so still got a way to go before I become 'old', but it does annoy me when folk go on about 60 is the new 40 and so on. No it is not, my eldest daughter will be 40 next year and there is no way my energy levels are the same as her. One of my grand daughters is horrified that my hair is going quite grey and wanted to know why! I do usually dye it, but because of health problems I have been having, I haven't had it done for a while. But why is it a crime nowadays to age naturally? I have never been a fashionista or wore make up every day and am not about to start now. I wish folk would stop expecting us all to be running marathons into our 80's, climbing mountains or whatever. That's fine if that's the sort of person you are, but let the rest of us enjoy more relaxing hobbies if that's what we enjoy without feeling as though we are letting the side down. That's my biggest bug bear about getting older, yet when me and hubby speak about selling up, possibly buying a nice camper van and going travelling or moving to somewhere like Spain we are deemed to be crazy at our age! We just can't win lol.

I feel just like so many of you. I hate growing old, absolutely hate it. I know I can do nothing about it but the future terrifies me. My DH has just been diagnosed with dementia and he doesn't cope with things well. That's an understatement! He has issues with anxiety or what he calls "funny turns". I try to deal with it but it's becoming so difficult. I've always coped well, but just now I'm finding it really hard. I'm 70, keep fit, run and do Pilates but right now I'm at a loss to know how to get some positivity back into my life. Even looked at funeral plans today! The DD came, telling us not to be daft, they could pay for it! What a miserable old buddy I am.

Inspirational post Littlegran

Phebes, that's what my Dr said when I complained about getting old

My mum died when she was 64 very suddenly (aortic anerysum).
She would now be 84 (9th July) and she missed my daughter getting married and go on to have her own children.
But..as time goes on I feel that I want to die round about her age...I just cannot see myself getting old

Since you cannot know what the future may bring, why worry about it. Let troubles look after themselves until they arrive. Yes, a bit of forward planning can help. But beyond that....

To slightly misquote the first Duke of Wellington, discussing his campaign plans 'I make them from ropes. If anything goes wrong, I tie a knot and go on.’

It is as good a guide to living, especially as you get older, as you can get.

I will be 61 next week, my Mum is 87 & several of my Aunts lived into their 90s, one even reached 100 - I hope I have inherited their genes. I have a few health problems but try to do as much as possible - I moved last year & the garden was a jungle (elderly man was previous resident) - I have worked hard to clear the shrubs & rubbish to now create 2 new raised beds (need a friendly builder to build me some retaining walls). The satisfaction I feel when I look at my garden is a real sense of achievement (back has made it clear when I've done enough). I could have paid someone but that would have been too easy.

My Mum is still active, living independently & driving so there is hope for me (fingers crossed).

I certainly don't feel my age although I'm not how I shoud be feeling.

Any-one walking past my house when I'm laughing very loudly probably thinks I'm a bit crazy - do I care - not a bit

I'm not keen on it, but it's better than the alternative!

I am 94 .usual aches and pains of old age but could be so much worse. Still a volunteer with RVS doing one afternoon each week at my local hospital taking the trolley round the clinics and wards along with my good friend who drives me there and back home. Can cope with my body failing as long as my brain still works reasonably well. Lucky to have youngest daughter nearby who helps with shopping and anything else I cant manage.a bit deaf with two hearing aids and sight not so good but making the most of life .