Social Anxiety

I agree with daphne', think most of us have elements of this and why wouldn't we? Some social situations are frankly horrible. These days I am comfortable saying no if I really don't want to do something. If it becomes too debilitating, basically if it worries anyone, then it's worth investigating CBT rather than traditional counselling as it can teach strategies to deal with the 'what if' types of thoughts than can so undermine. newyork it does sound as if you are unhappy with how things are, agree that small steps are good. It may be worth finding out about CBT, your GP is a good place to start, he won't laugh or be surprised, or you could use an Internet search, lots of information there. I'm sorry it is so hard for you to do the things you want to, it's horrid to feel that way. Wishing you well.

It's odd that someone should post on this today. While I was ironing this morning I was thinking about how dreadfully I used to suffer from this. Going anywhere outside my comfort zone was an agony. I thought particularly about a time in the late seventies when we were invited to an informal supper by DH's boss - then one of the most senior generals in the British army - and his wife at their home in Chelsea. It was a singular honour not accorded to many of non commissioned rank. I got myself into a terrible state about it - couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, reduced to jelly - that in the end DH made our excuses and we didn't go. I knew how disappointed he was but he never mentioned it again. I never did have much self confidence back then. I did get better as time went on, and don't have any problem now, but it took a long time.

I wonder if it makes it better or worse to give it a "name"?
I regularly duck out of social engagements (DH's health is a convenient excuse) as I am bad at saying No in the first place. I have never liked parties, especially if I feel everybody else knows everybody but surprisingly often enjoy them when I am there.
How about easing yourself in gently. Small groups of 2, 3 , 4 friends for a meal out. Or a theatre/cinema visit so that you don't have to worry about small talk. If you really have to go to a big do, try to find someone else who is going that you are comfortable with and don't worry about having to stay too long. If it is "big" no one will really notice if you slip away provided you have spoken to your hosts at some stage.
If we are being honest, many many of us secretly fear large social gatherings and if it is making you ill, don't force yourself. Try baby steps first.

My GD has just been "diagnosed" with this. She is only 14 and it started when her parents marriage ended. She is now being home schooled and the whole thing is a nightmare for us. Any help would be appreciated. She has had counselling but it is not much help.

That's how I feel, I have a meal to get through on Saturday, I get annoyed with myself as I hadn't used to be like this.

I just bite the bullet and get on with it. But the relief when event is over is immense.
As I don't drink some outings are more problematic!!