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Big Decision.

(12 Posts)
Maywalk Thu 13-Oct-16 18:43:38

Hello everyone.

Most of my forum friends know of the fall I had this time last year that broke my hip in three places and the follow up of when I got home resuming the daily task of looking after my dear hubby who had advanced Dementia.
Anyway I was trying to care for him and doing my best to get moving again myself with the aid of my lovely family. Unfortunately hubby finished up in a nice nursing home and he passed away in April.
I was still trying to do things for myself and grieving for hubby and I had another fall which in turn did some more damage to the broken hip.
It was at first thought that I had a stress fracture at the back of the metal plate that had been put in my hip and I found out today after many more X-rays that it wasn’t that at all it was the metal rod that had bent when I fell.
Into the bargain from various information shown on previous X-rays over time it seems I now have Cervical Spondylosis apart from the deformed hip and I was more than surprised when the Consultant I went to see today offered me a complete hip replacement which would not be without risk due to all the metal to be taken out before they could even get started.
It was a case of living with the pain or having the op to see if it would be any better.
At my age of 86 I have declined the offer not because I am afraid of operations or any pain to go with it because I have had quite a few ops during my life so know what to expect, it is because I also have Epilepsy and although I have been pretty good since I had the pacemaker put in regarding seizures I don’t want to tempt fate and to go all through that for nothing.
Tell me your view on this as to what your decision would have been bearing in mind that I could be 87 before I had the operation ??????????

hulahoop Thu 13-Oct-16 18:54:44

You have had a rough year may walk it is a big decision what is your mobility like and is pain well controlled ? If both satisfactory then I don't blame you best wishes

annsixty Thu 13-Oct-16 18:56:41

I would listen very carefully to the surgeon and take his advice. If he doesn't think he can make your life better he will not do it. Good luck with whatever you finally decide and condolences on the loss of your Husband.

Jane10 Thu 13-Oct-16 20:18:34

Oh Maywalk I'm so sorry to hear your troubles. What a year you've had. I think Annsixty's right. See what the consultant says. Does your family have a view on this btw?

SueDonim Thu 13-Oct-16 20:25:10

I'm very sorry about your husband and your nasty fall. flowers

My mum will be 89 next month and has lately declined a replacement knee op. She had the first knee done about three years ago but it took a lot of recovering from. She isn't in a lot of pain, it's more that the knee is weak, and she thinks that she won't benefit much from an op because it isn't going to restore her to how she was at 70yo, due to osteo-arthritis.

She had a new hip about eight years ago (under local anaesthetic - is that a possibility for you, if you go ahead?) and that was worthwhile. It restored her mobility and best of all, took away the dreadful pain she had been in. When I saw her after the op, she looked at least 10 years younger!

I think you have to balance the risks (bearing in mind the specialist may well be telling you the worst case scenario) against what you would wish to gain from the op and how likely you are to achieve that.

Best wishes

Maywalk Thu 13-Oct-16 21:51:32

Thanks folks.
Even the consultant was dubious about it because of all the metalware that is holding the hip together. He admitted it would be a long job and having the Cervical Spondylosis would not help, apart from the other health problems.
Its his job to point out any problems even though he has offered the op to make the patient aware of any complications that could occur.
I will stick with my decision NOT to have it and my family are backing me in any decision I make. I already have metalware in my other hip that I broke about 12 years ago. Thanks again for getting back to me. God Bless

Luckygirl Thu 13-Oct-16 21:52:01

What a difficult decision for you. All you can do is listen to the medical advice and decide whether the pain you are in merits taking any risks that they outline.

Many condolences on the loss of your husband. flowers

rosesarered Thu 13-Oct-16 22:17:30

Hello Maywalk I had wondered where you had gone this year, condolences about your husband? And hope that you will feel a bit better soon.We are all different, but I would not have the op if I were your age ( unless I was in so much pain that it wasn't bearable.) Good luck.

BlueBelle Thu 13-Oct-16 22:50:05

Sorry to hear your difficulties Maywalk I think you have made the right decision for you A long laborious operation as we get older is far from ideal and it sounds complex I think you ve made you're mind up and that's right for you Look into anything that can help with management without the op. and very good luck

Teetime Fri 14-Oct-16 09:53:48

OH dear Maywalk you are having a trying time. Only you can make this decision and it sounds as though you have listened to your consultant. I hope that you can be made comfortable with some good pain control and that you have some social life and some good friends. You can always chat with us on here about anything you fancy .Very best wishes flowers

Hilltopgran Fri 14-Oct-16 10:18:52

Maywalk, you have done so well to keep going through such a difficult time. Very sorry to read about your husband. I think you are the expert on your own health and after listening to the Consultant you have reached a considered decision. It is good that your family support your decision, hope you have effective pain control. Best wishes

TriciaF Fri 14-Oct-16 13:51:56

You have my sympathy, Maywalk,and condolences on the death of your husband. We all know it's got to come some time, especially after 80 (like me.)
Your specialist has described the problems in any further operation, and I think I would make the same decision as you.
Your story reminded me of what happened to my Mum, in her 80s, when she went for a simple digestive investigation, under full anaesthetic. A one-day job . When I went to collect her the nurse told me she had had actually died under the anaesthetic and the emergency crew was called and had to resuscitate her!