He snores so much I can't sleep!

I feel so much better after reading all these comments. It seems to be a "taboo" subject but actually quite a common problem amongst couples. Sometimes you just need reassurance that you are doing the right thing. I would never admit to anyone here at home that this is our arrangement but recently I felt the urge to explore others experiences. I would like to wholeheartedly thank you all for responding to this post and you all have an excellent day....and a good nights sleep!

My husband is a dreadful snorer and after a lot of moaning from me, bought one of the devices that wakes him up when he snores. He only wore it once and said that I snored and set it off!

As Legs55 says, when I dig my husband he maintains that he was not snoring and was awake. Rubbish.

I have laughed reading all these posts. How similar we all are.

I've done the same recently and although we both sleep better it feels really wrong to not sleep together after many years hating to be apart. However he has been ill so I had to let him get his sleep and not suffer my hot flushes, reading in the night, snoring etc, so that's why it first happened. I miss the spontaneous chats, the warmth and four o clock sleepy sex, it seems more planned now which is still lovely .
I would like to make my room more for me as it is my daughters old room but then I feel this arrangement will not change which is just sad. I sometimes start in our room then move later but I do understand how you feel

I am the snorter in our house and we have separate rooms. Not at all unusual, I know quite a few couples with this arrangement for varying reasons. We get on SO much better after a good nights sleep than when we kept trying to be in the same room because that's what's considered the 'norm'

DH snores but it has become better since he has decided to lose weight.I am a light sleeper and when he gets up in the morning, very early to get to work, he closes the bedroom door but then the bathroom door is opened very noisily or he clatters about, then the front door closes with a bang, so any attempt of getting off to sleep is put on hold until I hear the car driving off. I cant understand why we women have to move into another room when WE dont snore, and I cant understand why we dont like to admit to having seperate bedrooms, nothing to be ashamed of, I have often popped into another bedroom when the snoring was at its height.

We've had separate rooms for a long time. It started because of my snoring, then after I had both knees replaced I couldn't move about much in bed and didn't sleep well so we stayed apart. Then when DH became ill it was obvious that neither of us sleeps very well and we would just wake each other up all night. Now and again DH says it would be nice to sleep in the same bed, but I know he'd last about 5 minutes with someone else twitching and fidgeting.

Moved out of the main bedroom years ago. We each have a double bed and an en suite and it's GREAT! We both feel so much better and i hear a lot of people have separate rooms thes days. Go for it!

We sleep in separate rooms most nights because of DH snoring and at the moment because he has a torn ligament in his arm and needs to stretch it out all night. On the odd occasions when he comes back into our room I get a bad night's sleep and usually turf him out in the early hours due to snoring. Separate rooms definitely the way to a good night's sleep! ?

Craftycat do you happen to remember the name of the device that your husband has bought? My OH has strenuously denied that he snored or retaliated with'well, you snore'! I won the day when one of my daughters confirmed that she could hear him snoring from the floor above!

Thanks people for an explanation of sleep apnoea and the recommendation of the ear plugs called Muffles. Ear plugs have always hurt my ears but those may be worth a try.

It's very comforting to know one is not alone with this problem. I notice the snoring is much worse if he's been down the pub! In addition to the usual, stereotypical snore, my OH breathes very heavily and makes all sort of whiffles, sniffles, whistles and grunts. Anyone else? He used to sneeze all the time in our last house and when we moved to a super clean rental whilst waiting to move into our permanent abode, the sneezing stopped and possibly the snoring reduced. We have a cat and had numerous pets in our old house and I wondered if his snoring was made worse by a pet or dust allergy. Any thoughts?

Yes the holiday bedroom situation can be a problem especially if staying with friends or family. We did this recently and had to share a bed, neither of us got much sleep ( don't misinterpret that ). Apartments or suites can the answer if it's an hotel holiday. All adds to the cost. Separate holidays may be the next thing.

Snoring can be a symptom of Sleep Apnoea, I attended a Sleep Clinic after seeing my GP, they gave me a wrist monitor to wear (like a watch & clip for finger which you tape on), I woke up in the morning & found I had dislodged the finger clip - tried this 3 times, they never did get a good reading. As I was borderline they never bothered going any further.

My late DH could "snore for England", didn't matter what position he slept in. I would give him a a "gentle" nudge - he would often say "what's that for", he maintained he wasn't snoring as he wasn't asleep

Thank goodness for separate rooms! It was either that or murder ?
We've had separate rooms for 30 years +, and I reckon holidays are going to head the same way soon. He snores so loudly I could cheerfully throttle him; elbows don't work and I've even pushed him right out of bed onto the floor without him stopping or waking up!

Thinking about it divorce might be cheaper than separate rooms or holidays.......
I think I'm joking!

If you have the spare room, then go for it. My husband snores like a tractor, so once I went back to work myself after ten years of bringing up the children, i finally decided that it was him in the spare room, or we'd have to call it quits. It works really well for us and we've never looked back. Both get good nights sleep after 15 years of suffering! I would recommend it defo, but I would not take the spare room. I've kept the main bedroom!

We have had seperate rooms since my daugter was young and sleeping in our room in her cot. Husbands snoring woke her up !! She's 34 next week.
We are very happy with the arrangement both get a good nights sleep and freedom to read or fidget or whatever. Holidays are a real problem though as it is very expensive to book 2 hotel rooms and neither of us can now sleep peacefully in one bed. Husband keeps waking himself up worrying that he is snoring too loud, I worry about the other guests (that's how loud he is) and I just get more and more angry by morning I'm ready to explode.
Next step seperate holidays ?

We have had separate bedrooms for years because of DH snoring and my frequent visits to the loo as have a sensitive bladder so this way we can both get a decent sleep. On holidays and visits to friends overnight I wear earplugs and take sleeping pills which I worry about on a 10 night holiday! Its good to know so many other people have the same problem.

We have separate bedrooms my worry is holidays. Honestly puts me off going to a hotel due to having to share a room.

My husband recently bought a device online which looks a bit like a watch. If he starts snoring (if!!!)it gives him a very mild shock- not enough to wake him but enough to make him stir & move a bit. He noticed it for the first couple of nights but he isn't even aware of it. It is brilliant & now we both sleep soundly.

I'll ask him what it is called when he comes home from work tonight.
It wasn't expensive.

I agree Theoddbird but since the snorer is asleep, it's quicker and easier for the non-snorer to move.
I once knew a couple who had separate bedrooms and they loved it. Apart from the fact that there were no sleep issues surrounding snoring, they also said that if they went out in the evening, they felt like teenagers again as they could say "fancy coming back to my place?" if they were feeling amorous.

My sympathies to you all! Sharing a room with a heavy snorer can be Hell! My ex snored and I coped with 27yrs of losing sleep, he denied snoring .... ever, even when filmed!
My dearly beloved snored a bit, but somehow it was easier to tolerate, probably because I loved him so much. He passed away earlier this year, and I even miss his little snores beside me at night now!
Anyway, I used to use Muffles, these are a mix of cotton fibres and wax, and can be worked between finger and thumb till soft, and gently pushed into the ear. They come packs of eight, and I used to trim them to make three balls, out of two , if you see what I mean. I found by doing this, I had the ideal size piece that I would make in to a sort of cone shape, that I could push into my ear. They made a near perfect seal, and could keep out at least 90% of the noise. You can buy Muffles from Boots stores.

Azie09, sleep apnioa is when you stop breathing when you sleep, it can happen often during the night and not are you only at risk of a stroke but you are tired all the tired and are usually overweight and snore as well. As to your own room, well we have a spare bed that either one of us will go in if we want during the night. Sometimes ine of us, like my husband will say hewants a good nights sleep as he is running inthe moning or something. Its whatever works for you, just go for it.

Hello SueinHull. I'm sure there are lots of us who prefer to sleep on our own. We moved to this arrangement 5 years ago, as I got so tired with OH snoring every night. Cant see why anyone could have a problem with this.
OH comes in each morning and we have a cuddle and a chat. I look forward to seeing him each morning- whereas before I got very ratty as I was so tired.
SAme when we go on hols , its a cottage or 2 bed appt when abroad.
(And you can read as long as you like).

Good for you SueinHull. If I don't get enough sleep I am grumpy. No chance of that with husband snoring loudly and constantly listening to his breathing to see if he had stopped or not. Having a machine now that helps him breath means that we both get enough sleep and I do not have the awful worry that he might have stopped breathing in the night. As you say sleeping in separate rooms does not mean you have to give up on intimacy. There is always a way to show you still love each other even in the daytime. Ways and means as they say.

My OH has Obstructive sleep apnoea. Which means he wakes up a lot during the night because he stops breathing. He has to wear a mask and has a machine which pumps air in to the mask making an awful noise. That is why we have separate bedrooms. I love having my own bed because as well as being able to sleep now I can read for as long as I like. You can still have a loving relationship even though you have separate beds. When you are suffering from lack of sleep you become irritable so if you can I would say for a happier life sleep in different rooms but leave the door open!

Since before we were married (21 years) we have had separate bedrooms which actually makes it quite fun. We both snore and disturb each other. DH has a sort of mouth guard thing which usually helps a lot when we have to share, not always though but it is an improvement. Muffles ear plugs from Boots are a Godsend, half a one in each ear. Both bedrooms are similar size, it's just been brilliant and keeps things alive on every level (!!). I know some of my friends are quite envious, saying their DH would never agree to it. We keep different hours and he stays up to watch tv whilst I go to bed and read or whatever, it also means if I can't sleep I can sit up without waking him! I say go for it, every time, if you have the space.

I moved out of marital bed, and bedroom, many years ago, not long after our marriage, firstly because of hubby's worsening RLS and periodic limb movements, and secondly because of the snoring. Earplugs tend not to work for me.

It was difficult to start with, sleeping separately, but we are both very used to it and love having our own space. Lack of sleep is an utter joy-killer.