Nightmares

Last week I had what was probably only the fourth nightmare in my life. I was screaming in my sleep and had to be woken by my husband. The third one was only a couple of months ago.

I am also a person who thinks too deeply about things and worries about things that I have no control over and also has a fair amount of stress at work and home. I believe that it is this, along with being too warm in bed, which causes the nightmares.

I need to calm down and relax. Glad to know that I am not alone in this!

Thank you everyone for your responses, sympathy and helpful advice.

I am currently going through the menopause (peri menopausal) and I have been taking low dose HRT for around 8 months so that could be one explanation. My mum died in April and some of my (worst) nightmares have my mum in them or things belonging to my mum. I also have a lot of stress at work at the minute and my MS has flared up again, so perhaps that could be another reason for the bad dreams.

Some of my dreams are so bad I couldn't tell anyone for fear of them "coming true" but a couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was lying in my own coffin alive but every one around me thought I was dead and we're talking about me as though I was gone. I was trying to scream out and actually thought I was dead when I woke up (I know that sounds stupid). Last night I dreamt some young boys (whom I was supposed to be looking after) were trapped under a metal grate that was filling with water. I could actually feel them drowning and it was the most distressing thing. I was screaming for help and tugging at the grate but no one came.

Its getting to the point where I am frightened to go to sleep and I think I am going mad.

I have lots of "strange dreams", people from my past, relatives that have died over the years, often the place is totally out of context. I bought a "Dream Catcher" which is hung above my bedroom doorway which has helped but I still have the odd strange dream

My sympathies too gillybob. I think I dream more than people to whom I have mentioned this subject. When I was young I had awful school related (another convent school) dreams and was afraid to sleep for fear of dreams. As a young mother I dreamt that I put the baby in a drawer and remembered days later and there was nothing there but a filleted fish. In my older age I have the sort of dreams where I wake up disturbed but can't quite remember what was in the dream. As Ankers says, the emotion is the troubling part rather then the content. A few days ago though I had a very real dream that I recall in great detail and it involved playing at the end of the garden, more like my childhood garden than where I am now, and discovering a line of graves and being concerned because I couldn't see how the bodies and gravediggers had come through our house undetected. It actually shook me up and I really wondered if it wasn't some kind of premonition. Since then I am back with the elusive dreams and just glad to still be here every morning.

I too would suggest meditation, writing a diary/journal and a gratitude list. Anything to clear your mind, quieten your mind. There's also the Bach flower remedy Aspen, which might help.

Sympathies GillyBob! I'm a poor sleeper too, with lots of unpleasant dreams. I've looked at some of the research on the topic and it appears that this tends to be a pattern as we age (sorry!). Pain can disrupt the various stages of sleep, truncating the lovely Delta-wave restorative stages and catapulting us into REM sleep where we dream. Therefore, it's a good idea to do what you can to sort out sources of pain. You could quite see how having some arthritic or muscular pain, for example, which was not sufficient to awaken you, might well stimulate bad dreams. Hope it improves for you!

I constantly dream that I have gone out or gone to work, and left my young children unattended.Now I have grandchildren, the dreams are sometimes about them, but still the same scenario.
My children are all in their thirties now, but when they were small, I remember feeling terribly guilty that I had to go on night-duty and leave them with their dad. He didn't neglect them as far as I'm aware, but there was always a niggling worry in the back of my mind, so I guess this is why I still have these awful dreams!

Last night I had a nightmare about water, during the day l had taken GS age 4 for a 2nd swimming lesson, he was very distressed. On waking l thought that is it no more lessons.

At least l have a logical reason for the nightmare but l still feel really awful about the nightmare and the lesson.

I feel for you gillybob. I've often experienced this type of nightmare so much so that I've been unable to relax until I've rung the person just to make sure they're ok. Completely irrational, I know, but I do it anyway.

I think these dreams are the by product of a stressed mind. Have you tried any of the mindfulness apps?

I have sleep problems too, and occasionally I have dreams that I am glad to waken from, not nightmares, but "realistic" dreams, hard to know if they are real or not when I waken, glad Im not alone with these problems, nice to "talk" about them.

Yes I agree newnanny!!

I think nightmares come from underlying stress in your life.

Dont often have nightmares but have a brain that wont switch off.relax.slow down.tires me out.....and sort of....cant explain it...waking nightmares....?

I was going to suggest new medicine or a change in medicines too.

Can I ask, when you are having the nightmares, what is the emotion you are feeling.

anxious? worried? fretting? concerned? Something else?

I find that when I have bad dreams, it is not the content of the dreams that is the point of my problem, it is the emotion when I am dreaming them.

Nightmares can get physical too. I remember my Mother shouting out because my father had his arm round her neck. He was fast asleep and was dreaming he was fighting a burglar. Very scary for Mum.

I was going to suggest the Menopause. I get weird, disturbing dreams (thankfully not so often now) which leave me in a state of high anxiety; heart beating out of my chest, confusion and sweating.

I've been getting them for about ten years or so. They're unpleasant and worse when I'm anxious.

This really is close to what happens to me, I'm sorry I don't have an answer to your sleep problems, but to assure you that you are not alone.

OMG the night terrors mine continue into the day and are horrific.

I shall try holy basil and hope is protects me...............

you could try Holy Basil capsules for anxiety and sleep ,I used them for a few weeks when I had problems sleeping due to anxiety

Hi Fiorentina 51, if your husband spots you having a nightmare, there is no need to wake you. He can talk you out of it. If he speaks calmly and tells you, he's with you, and you're safe. And tells you to relax and go back to sleep. It's amazing, you'll be able to hear him, without waking. I did it often, anytime my dear late wife had a nightmare. Believe me it worked. I hope you have no more nightmares, but if you do, try it. I'm

I was sent to a borstal type convent boarding school at the age of eleven. A few weeks later my 76 year old father/grandfather died of cancer. I was punished by a nun who was waiting to say Grace for speaking to my friend who asked me why I was crying. I am now 71 but I still remember it as if it happened yesterday. I suffered terrible nightmares for thirty years, even having one whilst sunbathing & falling asleep on the deck of a cruise ship. I believe, as nasty as they are, that they are a healthy form of outlet for what we bury deep inside.

A friend of mine was prescribed statins and found that they gave her terrible nightmares. Luckily the GP was able to prescribe a different one and these don't have the same side effect. If you are on any medication it's worth checking out

I dream all night every night and have done since I was a child. Some nights it's lots of random, choppy dreams and some nights it's like one, full-on blockbuster!

Only last night I had the most incredible nightmare - it was terrifying. I woke up still wanting to go back to sleep (it was about 3am) but when this happens I force myself to get up for a bit - go to the toilet, maybe have a cup of tea - because if I go back to sleep I go right back into it.

I would actually miss dreaming, even the nightmares, because I look foward to what the hell my mind will come up with next time. I wish I could plug my brain into the TV because I'd make an absolute FORTUNE selling my dreams!

However, if this is a new thing to you and all around you and people you love I would think the only thing you could do would be to look at strategies to stop worrying in the daytime because your mind is trying to finish the job for you while you sleep. If it is really, really bad, maybe counselling could help?

This happened to me this week for the first time in years. It involved a dear family member and for some reason I feel riddled with guilt that I dreamt it. Why is that?

Anxiety - this is what causes nightmares. As a life long sufferer myself, I understand my triggers now. It can be anything so tiny like worrying about paying a bill or driving to a new place, can trigger an awful nightmare. I have found doing a mindfulness course has helped so much!