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Bipolar

(10 Posts)
dewy5 Tue 21-Mar-17 15:34:54

Are there any gransnetters who have an adult child, who is married with family, who are suffering this condition? I have a close friend who is in despair as to what to do or how to help. As I can't imagine what she's going through, I was wondering if anyone had any advice I could pass on to her. I listen to her worries but don't feel I'm qualified to tell her what she should do.

TriciaF Tue 21-Mar-17 15:49:56

First she should discuss it with her GP. Even if her husband doesn't go with her at first, the GP should offer advice as to what help is available. Maybe support groups?
My ex is bipolar, and I went through huge problems with him before he got some help. By which time, too late. He's still on lithium at age 81.
Then second son (now aged 54) was diagnosed, but he seems to have become more balanced, off medication.
I would say that your friend needs support from fellow partners of bipolar.
There are different levels, and different main symptoms. Medications could have changed since the 60s.

Anniebach Tue 21-Mar-17 15:52:56

I have a married daughter with this illness. I wish I could give advice to make life easier for your friend but cannot. I do say watch this sufferer doesn't turn to alcohol to self medicate . Make sure she is taking her medication . Your friend needs you because she is going through hell , the highs and lows are both alarming. I am so sorry X

dewy5 Tue 21-Mar-17 16:06:59

I'm supporting my friend as much as I can as she says she needs to talk about it to someone outside her immediate family. Her son is on medication but the right dosage hasn't yet been found so it's still a bit trial and error. The problem for my friend is, as she says, the sufferer thinks he's ok but she can see he's not and she's not sure really how to behave with him. His wife is doing the best she can, but obviously their family life has to carry on, for the sake of the children.

soop Tue 21-Mar-17 16:40:10

dewy5 My heart goes out to your friend. My ex husband was diagnosed with this awful condition. At the time I had not heard of it and it wrecked our marriage. Since being diagnosed, he has been taking medication and, I understand, he'll continue to do so for the rest of his life. There will periods when your friend will dread the mood swings. TriciaF is right. Your friend and her husband need expert support. Living with someone with this condition is hell.

Ana Tue 21-Mar-17 17:25:23

But it's the friend's son who is bipolar, not her DH...

soop Tue 21-Mar-17 17:48:25

I apologise, dewy5. My mistake. It's your friend's son's wife and children who need as much support as they can muster.

GillT57 Tue 21-Mar-17 17:57:31

I would say Dewy5 that what you are doing now, listening and offering a broad shoulder is what your friend needs for herself. Hopefully GP will get medication right for friend's DS eventually as Bipolar diagnosis is now more common and thus better understood.In the meantime, do what you are doing for your friend, find out what you can, but most importantly be there for her and just listen.

dewy5 Tue 21-Mar-17 18:32:52

Thank you, GillT57. I've read up on this condition so I'm at least able to understand what my friend is talking about, and I've been amazed at the number of famous people who suffer with it (not leaving out anyone else who does also). And, as you say, it seems it is better understood now.
She knows that I'm always available to just listen. I feel for her so much!

Iam64 Tue 21-Mar-17 19:16:01

You sound like a good friend dewy5, a good listener is something to be valued in a friend. Anniebach is right to highlight the fact that bipolar is often a dual diagnosis with drug/alcohol abuse or dependence. I often wonder which came first, the depression and anxiety that can lead to self medication with substances/alcohol, or the bi polar which can lead to self medication etc.

The internet is often criticised as a source of information, Dr Google isn't always entirely helpful but your friend will find lots of good sources of information to help her.