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I feel old suddenly!

(154 Posts)
mazza245 Fri 24-Mar-17 09:29:24

I have always felt that I didn't look my age and I try to dress up to date, wear makeup, hair styled etc but it's suddenly hit me that I'm getting and looking old! I have spent a lot of this week in tears. I realise it's self pity which isn't good but maybe it's justified?

I've been to the doctors, dentists, osteopath and hairdresser this week and more or less had bad news at each appointment! I have a dental bridge which came out and the dentist said the two roots still in my jaw must be rotten and have to be removed. He refused to cement the bridge back in and we are going on holiday next week, me with a big gap at the side of my mouth! I then have to look forward to this probably painful procedure on my return, my husband didn't want me to have them out before we go away as last time I had an impacted wisdom tooth out, I got an infection in my jaw which was extremely painful. I have to let the gum mend for six months before anything can be done so I'm stuck with this gap. So I cried there, as I can't eat on that side, it's sore and I have this gap.

I was really looking forward to the hairdresser as I usually come out feeling and looking better but he combed through my hair and then in a very sympathetic manner asked if I'd been losing a lot of hair recently? He's forgotten previous discussions as I'm on a low dose of chemo which has obviously had more of a toll on my hair than I thought. He was shocked as he remembers I had the thickest hair possible. So I cried there too as I was so embarrassed.

I know I'm feeling low with the long winter, the dreadful weather recently and I'm ready for a holiday but this crying and self pity has to stop!

angelab Fri 24-Mar-17 15:30:24

I've always thought teeth were a major design fault in the human race!

Nelliemaggs Fri 24-Mar-17 15:36:39

I was upset when I saw the photos from a wedding I attended and realised how obvious was the gap in my teeth when I smiled. I saved up and eventually got a bridge but my DD photoshopped a tooth into the space on the photos and you would never know?

sarahellenwhitney Fri 24-Mar-17 15:45:23

Any one observed the dreadful things that have happened in London? Now that is something to get concerned about not your bad hair or teeth day or that you are a few days older than you were last week.

petra Fri 24-Mar-17 15:49:47

Sarahellenwhitney Yes its bloody awful what happened in London, but does that that mean that life stops.

TriciaF Fri 24-Mar-17 16:06:04

angelabwrote
'I've always thought teeth were a major design fault in the human race!'
We weren't expected to last so long - we've worn them out from overuse!
I've just received a copy of a report from the cardiologist I saw on Tuesday:"Her main risk is age and dislipidemia " whatever that is, probably a tendency to form cholesterol.
It was the age bit that got me!

Nelliemaggs Fri 24-Mar-17 16:28:25

Are you in London sarahellenwhitney?. I regularly walk over Westminster Bridge and my son works nearby. He's there today as always and I understand that the tourists and workers are out in the same numbers getting on with life. We talked about it, sorrowed and were horrified but what are we to do but carry on. We can't turn the clock back. Are we supposed to talk about nothing but?

mazza245 Fri 24-Mar-17 16:37:20

Oh thanks, sarahellenwitney, I know worse things happen at sea etc and we all have bags of sympathy for the troubles in London but I really don't think I need a telling off on top of everything else! Most of the posts on here are about personal problems of one sort or another, aren't they, so I thought I might get away without someone doing a guilt trip like yours! Why does someone always have to do this? Thank you so much to all the rest of you for the lovely messages which have comforted me.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 16:51:30

mazza, I would find a new dentist! There's no way he should be so unsympathetic about how you feel about the gap. My own lovely dentist says he would never let a patient leave the surgery without some form of temporary 'cover-up' if nothing permanent can be done on the day.

Coolgran65 Fri 24-Mar-17 17:00:46

OP -- I got two roots removed last month. It was just like an ordinary extraction. My partial denture went back in right away.

Also, someone up thread mentioned a temporary partial denture. This is a good idea. My dentist when making mine took the impression at 9am and I was back in the chair at 3.30pm having it fitted. This was on the NHS and it was £130.
I kept my previous partial denture as a back up in case of emergency. If using it I would have one tooth missing, but better this than the alternative. It goes on holiday with me.

Coolgran65 Fri 24-Mar-17 17:02:03

shw Such a tragedy in London. But are you suggesting that Gransnet should come to a halt.
Or alternatively proceed entirely on the subject of the tragedy?

gillybob Fri 24-Mar-17 17:05:53

My hairdresser thinks I'm crazy as I just can't look straight ahead into the mirror and make it hard for her to get the sides even . She wasted her time showing me the back too as I never look .

Stansgran Fri 24-Mar-17 17:20:18

Polo necks are the answer . Veils over mirrors like a Victorian mourning or at least never look in a mirror with contacts in. Always walk tall. Try not to dither. And sod the terrorists.

Ana Fri 24-Mar-17 17:24:27

And don't dust mirrors - ever! grin

Badenkate Fri 24-Mar-17 17:33:07

One advantage of being very short-sighted! I take my glasses off to have my hair washed and don't put them on until it's completely finished. All this time I look ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS! I am lucky to have thick hair with hardly any grey - thanks to my mother. But she gave me her thick legs as well ?.
I am feeling down about the fact my heart has decided to beat irregularly permanently and I've had to start stronger diuretics, but as others on here have said, compared with other people's problems I should be thankful. I think, though, we all can do with a little howl at times. I do hope you feel a bit more cheerful now mazza. Enjoy the sunshine this weekend and hopefully you'll sort out your teeth well enough to enjoy your holiday xx

Antonia Fri 24-Mar-17 17:34:44

Mazza245, I don't think it's the 'getting older' thing that is mainly worrying you, but your dental problems. If you are going away next week, can't you find a different dentist who will do a job on your teeth? Even if it's temporary, it would make you feel better to have had something done before your holiday. I know just how awful it makes you feel when something goes wrong on the face. I have just spent months, waiting for an appointment with a dermatologist, to have a terrible skin tag removed from my cheek. It was demoralising, and I really sympathise with you. flowers I hope you feel better soon. Tomorrow is another day! (And the sun might be shining).

Marydoll Fri 24-Mar-17 17:43:48

I sympathise with you, mazza . Dental work can be so painful. My parents never took me to a dentist when I was young and I am certainly am paying the price now. A few years ago, I went to get lateral roots removed after suffering unbearable pain, to discover the bone was infected and had to be scraped, as result of my medical conditions. The pain wears us down and it's OK to feel sorry for ourselves, but I am sure things will improve for you. Like you, I suddenly realised that I was getting old, when I noticed my droopy eye and wrinkled neck, especially as I feel 15 yrs old in my head.
Go and enjoy your holiday, despite what you think, no-one will notice the gap or thinning hair, they are probably too busy worrying about their appearance!

KatyK Fri 24-Mar-17 18:26:47

Thank you mazza This is my lot so I am dealing with it the best I can. I have a new hair system which costs me a flippin fortune and now I am having a new type of denture which is also costing me a fortune but I have to deal with what I have and make the best of it. So outwardly I will look good but none of it will be real!! smile

mazza245 Fri 24-Mar-17 18:57:31

I wrote a post which has disappeared! The -clever little bugger- dentist was adamant that I shouldn't waste any more money on dentures or putting the bridge back in. He thinks I'll get used to it and, as the healing will take six months anyway, I can't put anything in. I'm glad for the reassurance about the extractions, I have imagined a lot of difficulty getting two rotten roots out of a very sore gum. I will look for someone else after I've got this lot over with but I haven't time now.

I like Stansgran's idea of walk tall, don't dither and cover mirrors. What's the new hair system, KatyK please? I'll get on with my packing, which is a whole other story, but I'll have to get on with things if I can stop holding my cheek!

ElaineI Fri 24-Mar-17 19:16:07

Someone I know has all her dental work done in Hungary mazza245. She says it is much cheaper and very competent dentists.

Luckygirl Fri 24-Mar-17 20:25:52

For each of us there will be a loss that brings home the passage of time. For me it is my singing voice which, tho I says it myself, has always been lovely. There are times now when I struggle to get a note out after a winter of coughing and I fear this is the beginning of the end for something that is so very much who I am. Sigh.

Barmyoldbat Fri 24-Mar-17 20:28:30

If it helps I was away in Asia for 3 months when my Front upper bridge of 4 teeth fell out into my bread! I was in a third world country where people usually went to the market to see a man to fix their teeth! My husband was so good, told me not to worry my teeth were still better than most of the population. I have now had the rest of the teeth on the top out and a denture that fits into implants fitted. It was expensive but so much better. Maybe you and your oh could go on one of these trips to Poland and both have them done. If I ever need the bottom ones done thats where I am goung its far cheaper. Advice, just go on your holiday, smile with your lips together and also remeber the sun will help your hair grow! Enjoy as they say

sunfield91 Fri 24-Mar-17 21:12:32

Hi mazza245, someone once said "getting old sucks " ,so true. I would like to contribute something which may help.I have an under active thyroid and this combined with ageing has left me with VERY fine hair. Have tried every volumising product under the sun, nothing works very well. However I have used hairpieces when going out for some time.Nowadays they come in all colours and all styles , can let you know the name of the ones I use, don't know if allowed on the site to give trade names or if you can "private message" as per Facebook, but more than happy to help.
As a lot of people have said I am sure we will all feel better when this awful rain stops

SueDonim Fri 24-Mar-17 21:39:21

Mazza245 I'm sorry for your dental problems. I'm always having nightmares about losing my teeth, it's just such an awful prospect. I hope it doesn't spoil your holiday too much, and at least you won't ever being seeing the people there again!

I think hairdressers must invest in special mirrors that make everyone look their worst. Sometimes I can't believe it's me, it's such a shock.

What bucks me up, though, is having my nails done in a rich red or deep pink polish and putting on a necklace and perfume when I go out. They make me feel dressed and as though I'm presenting my best face to the world. Perhaps that would help you too. smile

W11girl Fri 24-Mar-17 21:43:15

Don't panic Mazza 245. As you will see from most of the responses we all have similar problems, its our age I'm afraid. My hair is thinning too but I style it myself in such a way that it doesn't notice. Have you tried a few rollers to lift it. I put them in every morning before I go out and spray the roots before I muss it up with fingers. I do understand that this may not be possible after chemo however. I lost all my teeth a few years ago and now have mini implants which look very natural. A friend of mine who is 83 lost most of her hair at the back of her head, she grew her hair and she keeps it up in a kind of french roll with with a butterfly clip, this covers the back of her head so well. YOU ARE NOT ON YOUR OWN is what i am really saying. So pick yourself up and enjoy your life with all the fakery you can get your hands on! Come on cheer up.

W11girl Fri 24-Mar-17 21:50:14

Here, here Petra.