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Doctors who don`t know how to speak to the elderly

(14 Posts)
eddiecat78 Tue 20-Jun-17 20:40:36

I`ve just come back from an appointment with my very elderly father to have him assessed for cataract treatment. The consultant was very softly spoken and mumbled - frequently with a piece of equipment between him and Father. Father missed most of what was said and felt very muddled and distressed because he hadn`t been able to understand. Surely it is fairly obvious that a 94 year old man will have some hearing loss and reduced cognitive ability?
By contrast Dad`s heart specialist nurse it brilliant - speaks clearly and loudly and explains everything in an easy to understand but non-patronising way. Dad loves her

Alima Tue 20-Jun-17 20:50:22

I understand exactly what you mean Eddie. Hope the nurse was able to tell your Dad what the doctor was attempting to say. Last year DH had an appointment with his oncologist to tell him the result of his chemo treatment. Sadly it was the second in command who spoke to him. Lovely doctor but so quietly spoken it could have been dangerous. Luckily there was a nurse in attendance and we were able to ask her to explain what was said. I know my ears aren't that good but that was ridiculous.

eddiecat78 Tue 20-Jun-17 21:01:00

Unbelievably the consultant actually commented that some people can`t hear his voice! He obviously didn`t feel that meant he should do something about it.
Sadly, because Dad is rather proud he didn`t own up to not having understood until we were out of the room - I won`t let that happen again!

Christinefrance Wed 21-Jun-17 08:29:42

I used to have a similar problem when I accompanied people who had a learning disability to hospital.
Constantly questions would be directed to me rather than the patient and no effort made to couch information in a way it was more easily understood. It was the ' does she take sugar ' syndrome.
I would expect health professionals to be more aware.

Lillie Wed 21-Jun-17 08:52:03

Does the consultant not send through a typed report within a short time? We receive a good page and a half, a copy of which goes to the GP, so at least one can pick up on things one might not have heard or misinterpreted.
I appreciate that doesn't necessarily help if you want more explanation at the time.

I am the opposite and have a very loud speaking voice (teacher), and I wish I could quieten it somewhat. I do make an effort, but it isn't easy. Sometimes it's just how we're made .

wildswan16 Wed 21-Jun-17 09:46:26

It can be difficult to keep asking the doctor (or anyone) to repeat - you feel like you are being a nuisance and taking up too much time. Patients really must as it is their health and their worries, but so many people, especially the elderly, don't like to "make a fuss". The best thing for patients to do is to say immediately they enter the room - I don't hear very well these days, can you speak a bit slower and louder for me, or - Annie doesn't understand things very easily, can you put it simply for her.

It is also extra difficult when you come across a "foreign" doctor. Whether they be Spanish, Indian or Chinese etc. You have to concentrate so hard to understand some of them and tune into their accent that you miss the actual meaning of the words.

shysal Wed 21-Jun-17 13:59:50

A friend has to make frequent trips to the Eye Hospital. I go into the consulting room with her and take written notes, which I type up for her afterwards. I also occasionally ask questions on her behalf. She, like others mentioned on here, doesn't admit to not hearing what is being said until afterwards.
I grew up with a deaf mother, so it is obvious to me how to make ones self understood. I wish the doctors would speak more slowly and clearly, and face the patient! Also if the patients says they haven't caught something, repeat in in different words so that it doesn't just sound the same. All common sense but sadly lacking in many. Friend has another of these visits on Friday, I do hate the long waits!

TriciaF Wed 21-Jun-17 14:30:42

My doctor has a very quiet voice too. Otherwise he's very kind, and I trust him.
Last time I did comment on his voice, having said "pardon?" a few times. Usually he has a trainee with him who repeats to me what he has said.

rosesarered Wed 21-Jun-17 15:42:58

Exactly Wildswan I once had to ask a Chinese consultant three times what he was saying.....he became very miffed, I turned to the nurse in the room, and she couldn't understand him either! Would be funny if it wasnt so important.

Deedaa Wed 21-Jun-17 22:12:02

We have a Scottish GP who speaks terribly quietly if you see her in person and I catch about one word in three. However I have found she is as clear as anything on the telephone. If she's on duty I will be sticking to telephone consultations.

grannyqueenie Wed 21-Jun-17 22:50:58

At an eye clinic a few years back I sat in the waiting room and watched the consultant come out into the waiting room mumble say a name quietly, turn on his heel and walk back to his consulting room. Given that the majority of the patients were elderly and many were parially sighted, the nurse was constantly having to chase up patients who hadn't heard their name being called.
It really annoys me when people are made to feel it's their fault when with s bit of common sense it could be done so much better.

Humbertbear Thu 22-Jun-17 08:40:20

I find the opposite - I took my 96 year old mother to the dentist last week and the dentist in question seemed to think she had to talk to her slowly and loudly, which she didn't. I find people presume to be too informal with the elderly and I pulled one consultant up because he called my mother by her first name (which she hates) without even asking if that was ok.

Daddima Thu 22-Jun-17 08:53:38

I'm with you, Humbertbear. My wee auntie hated to be addressed by her first name, and when I worked for Marie Curie, I asked everyone what they liked to be called.

MargaretX Thu 22-Jun-17 14:47:11

WE had trouble with MIL in sheltered housing. The GP came and went and we never knew what had been said or decided. When I saw the doctor I asked her to write it down and she behaved as if this was impossible. I didn't let up about it and insisted that her instructions as to taking tablets or using creams, should be written and in the end she did it.
It takes courage to speak to the medical profession,

In Germany we don't have any problem with not using our first names. An older person unknown to us will always be adressed as Mror Mrs. This is the case in most European languages.